Failed Person Syndrome

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I voted "other". I guess I can feel as one or the other at different times, but really I am just hard headed and I am more about just "plowing through", if that makes sense. I don't know what I am.

Born with a figurative black cloud over my head. Voted loser

"What you think, you are." A priest once told me that they use that simple phrase to clear their minds and maintain focus. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, this quote is extremely applicable to your personal and professional life. As a student, if you focus on failing an exam, you will likely fail. In your personal life, if you feel you are a loner, you will probably be lonely. In business, If you think your business will fail, it likely will. In life, If you think you're a loser, you probably are. You see, how you perceive yourself will affect your choices and actions. Believing that you can't score with women will give you the mindset of an unattractive dweeb, and you will come off as one.

It's also like my track coach once said, "If you have already decided that a game is too tough for you, then you've already lost it."

Only you can change your attitude.

When I was a child till about maybe 8 months ago, I have felt unable to achieve as others in my grade level have, though I have felt like basically a good person and pretty proud of myself for whatever I achieve.

Recently, I realized that not achieving what everyone else did at younger ages was do partially to me having skipped a grade, and also the delay of Asperger's.

I had felt proud of myself because I am basically a winner and successful person, I'm just a little late to the party is all.

I also realize that everyone feels inferior and out of control as children, because it's difficult for children to take care of themselves and control themselves, that is why they are considered children and not adults.


Anyways, I chose "winner" though I try to refrain from getting a big head. "Flow" is an egoless state.

"Destined" is a very strong word. To say that anyone is "destined" to win or lose implies that we have no free will and cannot influence our lives. Whether this is true or not is a whole big philosophical argument, but I think at least for practical purposes it makes sense to assume that we do have free will.

While nobody is "destined" to win or lose I think they are predisposed towards it. There is no doubt that circumstances and personality play a big part in your success. There are no guarantees in life (except death). Your choices are: give up and be a victim of circumstances or do your best to change circumstances to your advantage. There is little doubt in my mind that believing you're a "loser" hinders you to an extent. Now, this is where it's easy to get carried away into all the "positive affirmation" stuff they love to sell you at self-help seminars (for a very high price!) Thankfully, I'm too rational for that. Instead I recognise that "winner" and "loser" are subjective labels and are not particularly helpful. Everyone wins and everyone loses (some more frequently than others) and I do my best to get a balanced, realistic view of my successes and failures, then figure out what went right and what went wrong in the past so I can learn from it.

We're like flowers in a meadow. If all the flowers had the same colour, size, perfume, it would not seem beautiful at all, but rather monotonous and dull. When we see a meadow where diverse flowers grow alongside each other, it is pleasing and beautiful, and the contrast brings out the special qualities in each and all.

Most people with AS are winners when it comes to breadth of knowledge about their special interests. There's a good starting point....