My dad thinks I am a ret*d.

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Nah I got a uncle that is a total loon because of AS. He's agressive violent erattic, something that people like to pretend ain't Aspergers but it's there is spades.

I use to be much the same way, granted it was for about 6 months, when I was rather confused, but regardless..


Kid sounds like he's overreacting, and really needs to stop with the victim attitude, getting the law in this type of situation, will likely just make things worst.

Your 15, by the sounds of it, you really need to take control of your life, and stop looking up for someone to solve your problem.

I know it sounds brutally harsh, because it is, I'm not telling you this to make anyone in this thread feel better, I'm telling you this, because you need to know your in control, nobody else can solve your problems. Trust me I have experience with this type of thing with my uncle. It ain't pleasant but you can go a long way.

Its not that simple.

I like that theroy

If my father treated me like that, I would never want to see him again.

does he have any evidence that you are?

What hinders you from "disconnect" from him?

Last edited by Keyman on 20 Oct 2012, 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thats just terrible of him. It is a good thing you only see him 4 times a year. Perhaps you should just avoid seeing him those 4 times & tell your mother this is why?

Going to family members or a school councilor would be reasonable, especially family members since chances are many of them had similar problems with him. The police probably won't have time much less the information to help....and making a domestic disturbance-related call to come to the house tends to affect how they treat any future calls- they tend to get more defensive. Plus, if nobody will back you up and someone drops the word "autism" or learning disabilities or mental health condition into the discussion with them, you will likely find yourself on the defensive and without credibility.

I agree with all the replies.

In fact; I was once considered an "idiot" by my father- all because I couldn't learn math as quickly as a day.

For years he called me a ret*d... And when I was 14, I kicked him out of my life.

I said "No! I don't ever want to see the man again!" And my wish came true.

Now I am learning math faster- much faster than before!

Maybe you can do what I did- stand up against my fear and kick them out!

You are amazing- your dad is wrong.

@MicMurphy, What was the difference that made you able to accelerate your math learning?

That's not very nice, but something tell me he might be joking and you just aren't getting the joke.

What makes it more complicated? He is verbally abusing you. I can't imagine any "authority" demanding that you spend time with him if they were aware of his behavior.

That isn't joking. That is verbal abuse. If he somehow thinks it is a joke, then he is a sadistic jerk. No parent should ever address their child in a way that tears them down like that. It is 100% unacceptable.

I have to agree with the other posters that your dad may well be a contributor to the Autie portion of your genes. Even if your mom is also on the spectrum, he shows warning flags.

Does he by any chance work with computers for a living? It is a good field for us -- I seldom have any problem getting along with other techies. Usually it's the non-techies who have caused me problems socially. Speaking as someone who used to work Animal Care before going back to school to study network administration -- Computer stuff pays way better too! It wouldn't hurt to look into learning computers even if it is only something to fall back on to pay the bills, but I would never recommend it replace your Service Dog special interest. Even if you never make a penny on service dog training, a low-pressure (lower pressure than your work for paycheck) special interest is of great value out in the working world . . . indeed it can be a sanity saver!

If he does work with computers, he may be trying, however clumsily, to share his special interest with you.

ok. I'll get off my soap box and back to your dad's attitude -- even if he has a good point thrown in there, his delivery is not acceptable:

First, make certain your mom knows what is going on, and how you are perceiving it! If you are seeing a psychologist or other mental/emotional health professional, make certain he/she is also in the loop. Don't assume they know anything -- tell them.

Second, calmly, but assertively explain to him that his attitude is a hindrance that you don't want in your life. If he wishes to spend time with you, he drops the attitude or you won't play. Put it in writing and mail it to him if you have to. Be specific in your examples of what is unacceptable and what needs to replace the undesired behaviors.

It would probably be a very good idea to make your entire future off limits for discussion -- which would mean you don't bring it up either.

Emphasize that you only see each other 4 times a year -- that time should be reserved for shared fun and father & son bonding, not fighting.

Be prepared for the possibility that he may not take this well -- focus on holding the high ground by being firm but calm. I was in my mid 30's when I finally stood up to my dad -- he bemoaned my "apparent lack of progress" until I informed him that standing up for myself WAS PROGRESS! He did finally shut up and back off.

third, if computers is his special interest, be willing to spend as much time discussing computer related stuff (not your going into computers, but the technology itself and how he feels about it and interacts with it) as you do service dogs while you two are together. It would be a very good idea to read up enough to be able to follow what he is saying, at least well enough to ask leading questions. Even if computers leave you cold, see it as practice carrying on a conversation.

Fourth, continue to be calmly assertive if he strays back to his old ways. Just state what he is doing wrong and change the subject to something acceptable, like a "shared fun" activity, similar to a correct & distract training maneuver. If it is persistent and habitual and you are required to visit with him, insist the location be somewhere you can easily return home on your own, or where your mom can easily come get you, so you are not trapped with him.

“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the f**k you were gonna do anyway.” ~ Robert Downey Jr. Just do not give a s**t what he thinks. I know it is hard to do at first but you will get the hang of it. Do something else in your head when you talk to him. Try playing a song in your head. He is not worth your full attention anyway.

It would probably be a good idea to document the emotional abuse (write a list of some things he said and date of visit when he said them). You can then file a petition with the court or talk to the judge with information in hand asking to amend the visitation agreement to request supervised visits. If you are able, you could seek legal advice. I know how difficult it is to stand up to parents who are emotionally abusive. If you can't, that is OK. Just know you did nothing to deserve this treatment. When you are adult, look for people who appreciate you.