Eye contact

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I make it a point to never look away when someone is angry with me or scolding me for something. Dogs do that. I am very fierce and never cower - not even when I know I should. I ran with boys as a little girl and learned to hide my weakness early.

How can I make eye contact when I am thinking?

I sometimes look people between the eyes and that works out quite well - at a certain distance, of course.

But I dislike making eye-contact, really. It preoccupies me for some reason, and makes me feel awkward and fuzzy in my head, like a cognitive overload, or so; I just can't think as clearly if I'm occupied by looking someone in the eye.
I don't get any useful information from that, either. Not more than looking at the eyebrows or at the lips.
The more emotionally charged a conversation is, the more difficult it is for me to make and maintain eye contact because I'm too busy sorting out emotions, I guess... I'm not sure.
Looking at the mouth is better, it actually helps me understand what they're saying.

I sometimes like looking at eyes, though. If they are of a special colour or have this darker ring around the irises, or very long lashes.

Is it more that eye contact makes you feel awkward or that the eyes aren't any different from the rest of the face?

It's brute force for me, and it wavers, just like the OP.

I (not diagnosed) have forced myself for many years, but still don't feel comfortable with eye contact. I doubt I ever will. I've gotten a lot better than I were I think, but it's still awkward For a small period of time I decided I should focus on the nose bridge, just between the eyes, because then it would look like I was making eye contact, while getting away with not doing so. I quickly discovered that didn't work though, because my mind wandered off a lot quicker then.. Hah.

maintaing eye contact is hugely overrated. It's just another thing that "normal" society can argue and complain about. I personally don't care and to be honest, I find people looking in my eyes during conversation to be quite annoying, almost like they're interrogating you with their facial expressions.

However, if I were talking to someone romantically, then eye contact is important and is acceptable and is a really good thing.

I make enough eye contact to suffice but I am not fixated on it. I often look at peoples hair, nose, blemishes, look away a lot. It's hard for me to give a person stable, meaningful eye contact. When I have meaningful conversations, I find it easier not to make eye contact or to make less.

i LOVE all your replies! especially "How can I make eye contact when I am thinking?" i've often said i can't talk and do things at the same time

to answer the question "Is it more that eye contact makes you feel awkward or that the eyes aren't any different from the rest of the face?", i would say it's more of an awkwardness, and a too personal sense of contact. i've only lately been self-analyzing about the matter, so don't have clarity to answer properly. maybe there's more to my inability to maintain gaze? maybe or maybe not.

i'm not one to walk with my head down, or to back down from confrontation, or to appear intimidated when i'm scolded or in a conflict. more often than not, i'm the type of person that people presume to be arrogant, aloof or confident. in public, i look past people unless they get my attention. in confrontations, my lack of eye contact has been perceived to be disrespectful or over confident behavior or even uncaring. i'm neither of those, but in actuality i'm level headed, kind, and respectful.



well, my appointment is tomorrow. any pointers, advice, tips? i think i'll wear my trusted purple glasses.

I can make awkward eye contact if the conversation has nothing to do with me personally. The second it shifts to me, I can't make eye contact. When I do make eye contact it is usually forced, and I never know quite how to do it...I usually end up using too much, or using it too fleetingly (weird since they're almost opposites).

I suck at eye contact i might maintain eye contact for maybe 2 seconds at a time then I look away for long periods of time in conversations.

I have a bit of an issue with eye contact as well. When talking with someone I try to stay focused on their eyes, but sometimes they just end up shifting to other parts of their body. I'm not trying to seem perverted or anything, It's just that my eyes move away from theirs.

I can just think better while looking at something blank. Any one with me?

I learned eye contact a few years ago by forcing myself to do it. After I was diagnosed with AS I have been paying too much attention to it, and now I am getting it wrong again.