What do you find most challenging socially?

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Socializing

(Probably because I have nothing social to say to people in my head. Sure, I can wing it on the 'net as I have time to think of stuff, but in person? Not a chance.)

Granted, I can lecture about stuff.

Anything regarding dating or romance would be my big issue.

Answering to the question "what's up?".

Or any unnecessary questions like "how are you?" "What do you do?" Or "what do you like to do for fun?". Just stuff I really couldn't care less about.

- The initial desire to socialise in the first place
- Finding ways to be interested in what others have said
- The amount of mental energy it takes me to socialise (linked with the first point). Because I know how mentally draining it is on me, it reduces my desire to do it in the first place, as, due to this draining, I then can't do other stuff I need/want to do
- Understanding whether people are joking or being serious
- Revealing too much about myself (waaay too honest)
- In groups - knowing when to talk and how to be heard
- Coming across in a good way. I am often too intense and take things to too deep a level for most people
- Taking topics "too seriously"
- People not understanding my humour
- Sensory distractions - too much noise, bright lights, too many people around, too much background movement, wrong temperature, uncomfortable clothing, etc
- Coming across "too intellectual"
- Asking too many questions
- Me misunderstanding them, them misunderstanding me
- My reaction to ingorance - I can't stand it and I get a bit argumentative
- Being too sensitive to their comments

Just to name a few...

Just sitting around and having to socialize without any distractions, such as a TV show being on, or a sports event to watch. For example, being done with a meal and having to sit around a table and chat. Ugh.

everything about social interaction scares me stiff..i still tend to avoid contact with people at all levels unless i have too ...
.i think it stems back to when i was a young boy..i never found it easy to be among others..my mother would tell me when i was at school that all the other kids would play together and that i would go stand in a corner and watch..but never try to join in,

i think that years of social isolation has created a build up of fear among people and has got to the stage of almost impossible,although i do

go about and do what i have to do in daily life to get by....but try to avoid people in the process. i would love to be able to overcome this problem as it prevents me from having a normal life.....

I have a hard time getting comfortable socializing in a group of four or more people. Small talk and idle banter do not come naturally to me and that becomes particularly difficult with larger groups of people. When there are fewer people, there are fewer variables to contend with, allowing me to adequately process words and body language. With one-on-one situations, I'll do reasonably well if I'm motivated. When there are just a few people, I can manage okay but as the number of people increase, the difficulties increase exponentially.

The bigger challenge for me in these situations is speaking. When addressing a group of people, I become very self-conscious. The reactions of others become distracting and I find I have to tune them out and go into a dispassionate monologue. There is a social anxiety component to this, but I'm starting to believe that affliction came about with the accumulation of negative feedback from awkward interactions in the past, most likely due to Asperger's Syndrome. As they detect my quirkiness and uneasiness, people will often react in condescending ways. I don't think these reactions are necessarily hurtful, or even conscious, but they certainly don't make me feel good about myself. Sometimes after a work meeting or social gathering, I'll come out feeling ashamed of myself for acting like such a dolt.

*Eye contact while speaking. Sometimes, eye contact at all.
*Speaking, period. I'm almost semi-verbal!
*Should I surpress my stims or "let my autism show"? I've been choosing the latter more and more lately, but sometimes people stare even though I'm aware of doing anything.
*Suppressing my facial expressions to be polite.
*Be overly honest about myself once I get talking.

I find it easier to talk to Chris and that's it.

Technology to help? Can't imagine how that would work... as in a machine to help you socially?

Anyway, my biggest things are
-telling when the topic of conversation has changed, as in whether the thing the other person just said which wasn't completely related to the previous topic was a sidenote my response should return to the previous topic, or if the conversation has progressed and this is the new topic now.
-Co ordinating the topic of conversation with the person, so sometimes I will ask someone I don't know too well or I have a formal relationship with a question which in retrospect should be asked to close friends because it is of a personal nature or has personal information about me or them enclosed in it.
-Shaking hands is a big issue for me. I do not see why people feel the need to physically touch someone they've just met. I mean, what is it, to see if it's an android or something? If they're ice cold, run like hell because it's a zombie? There is no reason for it.
-I need to clarify information several times to process it, so if I arrange to meet someone I spend 10 minutes repeating the time, location, expected duration etc over and over and they often get annoyed.
-Judging how well I've communicated things to others, for example if I think I've made it clear that someone's music is distracting me and I would like them to turn it down, and eventually shout at them, I may find out later that no one else knew that I thought that and from their perspective I suddenly went crazy and started shouting about music.

Feeling as though I have to talk. If I know someone, it's not that bad. If I don't know people, it can be difficult. That being said, I attend a group and have been twice. There's a man who takes me there from the station and another who takes me back to the station and I get on well with them.

Most challenging? Well I know what I find most annoying: That you're basically expected to be a hypocrite.

Of course, most people will never admit that, or even understand why I call it hypocrisy. But think about it: You're supposed to lie or at least exaggerate in job interviews. People will lie, pretend or mask their flaws in order to get or maintain a relationship. You're supposed to be polite to everyone, even when you really just want to punch someone. Now, I'm not saying you should indeed punch them. But this constant pressure to lie and fake is just so goddamn annoying. I'm naturally honest. Sometimes I lie to get a benefit, or to avoid anger, and while that's not exactly moral either, it's at least understandable to me. But this kind of social lies? I'll never get used to that.

1. Initiating conversation. I don't know how to get people's attention or join a conversation that's already happening. If the other person starts the conversation, I do better.
2. Having to socialize unexpectedly. I'm off in my own world (walking down the hall at school or wherever), and suddenly I see someone I know. Without having a chance to warm myself up to the idea of conversing and reminding myself how to do it, I can't seem to get the rhythm down.
3. Adjusting the style and content of my speech based on the audience. I know there are different things you're supposed to talk about with, say, professors, as opposed to peers. I know you shouldn't make politically incorrect jokes in front of people you don't know very well. But executing these rules is a whole other story.
4. Refraining from "TMI."
5. Interacting with a group. It's just... impossible.

Dating. While I'm starting to get things down by reading up on conventions and behaviors, I naturally trainwreck the whole thing, basically turning off most women and having them wander off and lose interest, while I'm a bit anxious and off. I've been on dates with over 85 different women and only had two relationships come out of them, all starting online first.

Small chat.

Understanding irony and different 'funny' jokes people usually do.
Difficulty with storytelling, talking about my feelings (people often ask me how do I feel or what I have done in the last time, which is kind of puzzling for me)
I give very few nonverbal cues - i can't gesticulate or make 'faces' because it feels unnatural, therefore people rarely know when I'm happy or sad
Different points of view on which I can't agree and I should pretend that I do agree because words don't come that easy for me.
Keeping track of a conversation and giving the 'right' answers.
When I have to say something funny, I can't be funny neither have anything interesting to say (if I do have SOUNDS rather uninteresting)