Is AS essentially just a social learning disorder?

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If Asperger's was purely social, I wouldn't have the problems with controlling anxiety that I have.

It's definitely more than social, I can tell you that. From my own experience in the workplace & what I learned through trial and error. It entails an imbalance between being far too detail-oriented but missing "the big picture", or WHY you are supposed to do something i.e. seeing your work in context to certain barriers (which may or may not be unspoken barriers). That goes beyond the social skills realm. It's more of an executive function thing.

AS is more than just a social disability (although that's arguably main part of AS). AS also causes us to have weird 'quirks' or habits (such as stims), special interests/obsessions, diffictuly adapting to change, and occasional meltdowns. Also probably some others effects I forgot.

No. Im actually very sociable- i 'dont look autistic' but there are NO pros to it. Im talented and gifted in some things but frequent shutdowns, inability to physically be around people, periods of muteness- mean i spend my life shut away indoors. Im hyper sensitive so noise smell etc freak me or confuse me. despite this, when im 'ok' im NT sociable, so for me, sociability is no issue.
Im above NT average in tests for recognising facial expressions, extremly epathic etc- but i just cant function... I dont work properly. I feel like a broken person. I hate being alive so so much. I want to love someone but i never meet anyone- whod want me anyway? Im a uselesss annoying burden.

Autism has ransacked then burnt out my life- stole my job, home, husband, childrrn, pets, friends- destroyed everything.
For many AS gives them super powers- da vinci, steve jobs- whomever. Awkward, but skilled and functioning. I just suffer like im a burns victim.

Before i was diagnosed thats how i explained how i feel- like im in fire- im that unhappy and in that much pain. I just hate it.
Theres no good here.

Hardly. It is just that the social deficits seem to be most marked. There are physical coordination issues, and differences in processing information in general. There are several issues that make AS a disorder thaat interferes with normal day to day functioning.

That is a great point... For some people (awkwardly enough), the good can actually end up outweighing the bad. You give the example of Steve Jobs (also some would cite Bill Gates). I've been interested in Temple Grandin's story and in her case, the autism clearly did help her in solidifying her professional identity. The spin offs from that are that she is a good example for others on the spectrum, showing that despite it all, you can differentiate yourself and become "somebody".

Once a desired exclusivity or fame kicks in, we're dealing with a whole other issue. The AS will be there, as unchanged as before, but it may end up working in one's favor, rather than holding one back from life. That would seem like the golden zone to aim for in our lives.

It always helps to have some luck shine on you though, I will admit, no matter what your neurology is

Yes, I can relate completely. I was overcome with a sense of sadness recently, because I'm starting to understand social banter and how people act so others like them. It's not logical, it's more like behavior dynamics. I am beginning to understand this some three decades after finishing grade school. In one particularly painful moment, it hit me that had I understood all of it as a kid, I probably would have ended up having many meaningful friendships already in school. Who knows how much they would have enriched my life between then and now... As it is, I have had a lonely life, pretty much all spent in my mind.

Even when I make forceful conscious efforts at building a social life, my effort doesn't produce results, and then I have to switch focus to avoid becoming depressed. I always try to maintain a positive demeanor, to smile, to be polite, so that I don't turn people off. In that way, I do alright.

But I am aware now more than before, how much richer my life could have been if I "got" people so long ago. I used to be a confused loner for whom a lot of the behavior of my peers just seemed pointless. It wasn't necessarily pointless, but I really had no internal compass or guidebook for it all.

For me the physical issues are very minimal. About the only thing I could never do was agile sports - gymnastics, or anything competitive. But, I didn't really care about any of it anyway, so the "loss" was nil from my standpoint. I was the kind of guy who preferred a book at age 12 to playing soccer.

If it was merely a social learning disorder I would be much closer to being "normal". My biggest problems are inertia and stress. NT's seem to have a way of not being upset by unpredictable crap always going wrong. They are far more secure navigating an insecure and unpredictable world without being driven into a homicidal meltdown.

I agree. This is very correct.

They are able to react very fluidly to it all, in a way that doesn't irk them. I have observed this in people, and despite not being as agile, I have tried (and am still trying) to learn to copy it.

At some point it sort of helps to tell yourself that nothing really means anything, and just take things as they come, and try to forget about them so the dwelling impulse doesn't kick in. A different way of being, but maybe it's something one can perfect with a lot of mental effort. I'm trying.

I've definitely found this a challenge. I still get upset by things not going according to plan, my wife chides me on it, as she doesn't take it quite as bad (but for some things, she does, that I don't - go figure). I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that certain crap happens to me due to a bad judgement on my part (i.e. the "common sense" deficit, not seeing the bigger picture of a situation and then my course of action backfires) so I feel that I can ill-afford to deal with the unpredictable stuff, when there's so much stuff that is otherwise predictable (at least to NTs) that causes me consternation.