Do you always assume the worst of people?

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LearningTime
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23 Nov 2012, 8:08 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I get this a lot. I think it's because I read so much on NTs being able to ''read'' the vibes one gives off and their body language and so on, and now it's made me become paranoid and worried that I can't be indistinguishable no matter how hard I try to appear normal and that there's nothing I can do about it.

Also I, myself, am quite good at picking up on other people's vibes too, just by looking at them and not even knowing them. Today some random woman stood in my personal space, and I looked at her then suddenly felt comfortable with her standing there because of the way she looked, even though she just looked ordinary like everyone else, and it was nothing about her clothes or facial expression or posture that made me think that of her. It was just an instinct, and I worry that other people have that same instinct and so can pick up on who I am within 2 seconds of looking at me.

So that is why I assume that when people are laughing or looking my way, that they are always laughing or staring at me. I think I have emotional scars from a time in the supermarket that happened last year, when 2 random girls were laughing at me, and I knew it was aimed at me because one of them started staring directly at me (I wasn't staring at them to begin with, I just sensed they were staring so I looked at them which was an automatic reaction anyway), and then she went up to her friend and were kind of snickering and turning round to look at me. Then I saw them a few minutes later in the same shop and they both looked at me and grinned at each other again, so it was quite obvious that they had a problem with me. At first I looked like I didn't care and just carried on doing what I was doing, but when I saw them the second time I kind of made them notice that I felt upset and self-conscious, by giving them a gentle frown. I haven't seen them since, but incidents like that has made me wonder if everyone really are laughing at me, and that wasn't the only time I got noticeably laughed at either. And no, I don't appear unusual, in case somebody throws that cliche at me.


i think scietnficailly they can only pick up on your emotional state as it exudes through your face and body and they'll feel it. i still wonder whether absolutely every nt has this. but it aint thought they don't know what you're thinking towards them or why you'd be in that state and they're generally not very thoughtfull as they're paying so much attention to the raw senses of you and i think this is why they are the ones who are more violent and stuff than aspies. sure they can empathise but they won't understand. because everyone has emotions really they won't really know if you're aspie or not based on the emotion alone unless they also just know about different types of people on top of it as a thoughtfull concept. they really are like wild animals and if an animal feels something strange it aint that comfortable and friendly with it. i think idk really know just rambling. i watched an mbti video and the lady said 'you can tell a lot about a person thier character just from their face; their body language'. they probably are staring at you or whoever because they're drawn to the sensory information ie everything of the visuals. i had people in the street go boo as i walked past looking nervous (as i have anxiety just walking about - probably worse back then), and another time a girl with a boy said hello in a kind of sympathetic as if i looked nervous way so that's why she said it. Other stuff like that which reminds that people are aware even probably most strangers in public. i didn't know people payed so much attention to their senses at all a while ago. but to be honest it's a good world paying attention to your senses (not just of people but of colours and everything, brand logos), you're in the moment.



Jayo
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23 Nov 2012, 8:34 pm

I totally have a cynical outlook towards the human species...and this has brought me into conflict with my wife. Don't misconstrue that, I do trust HER, but we have gotten into arguments about her calling me paranoid, because whenever we have to deal with some sales person, or a repair or trades person in our house, I make some quip that the person is going to try to take advantage of us so we'd better be prepared. She rebukes me for this response, saying not everyone's like that, you just have this unrealistic view of people trying to screw you over. Well, it's happened to me before, am I just unlucky or do people see a target in me that they wouldn't see in others??? Maybe she's biased in her response b/c she believes that "normal" people aren't susceptible to this treatment, so maybe I should take it as a compliment :?

We got into a big argument at a gas station last year when she insisted on paying with our bank (debit) card, when a few months before that, she had a fraud situation on our card which occurred shortly after using it at a gas station.



Logicalmom
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23 Nov 2012, 8:42 pm

Yes, I try to fight it - but I do.



AlmaBrown
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23 Nov 2012, 8:47 pm

I don't know. I've lived through too many "surprises" that people have in their personalities. I get hurt too often. It's easier for me to just assume malicious intent until proven otherwise. I've wasted too much energy trusting people who have used me.



hartzofspace
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24 Nov 2012, 11:56 am

LearningTime wrote:
i think scietnficailly they can only pick up on your emotional state as it exudes through your face and body and they'll feel it. i still wonder whether absolutely every nt has this. but it aint thought they don't know what you're thinking towards them or why you'd be in that state and they're generally not very thoughtfull as they're paying so much attention to the raw senses of you and i think this is why they are the ones who are more violent and stuff than aspies. sure they can empathise but they won't understand. because everyone has emotions really they won't really know if you're aspie or not based on the emotion alone unless they also just know about different types of people on top of it as a thoughtfull concept. they really are like wild animals and if an animal feels something strange it aint that comfortable and friendly with it. i think idk really know just rambling.

I don't think you are rambling. In fact, this explains a lot to me a about two past incidents, one of which was kind of funny. The first was brief. I was returning to my house from someplace, and noticed that one of my neighbors was standing in the parking lot of my complex with a group of friends. Their faces were painted and they were dressed oddly. I must have had some expression on my face or exuded some emotion that I was not yet aware of, because the neighbor looked at me and said, "It's alright." I felt annoyed and invaded because I didn't know why she was saying that. Only later after I had processed it did I remember that there was some sort of arts festival nearby that and that they must have been participating in it. And that I must have looked apprehensive or confused, and that was why she responded that way. The second incident happened when I was traveling from New York to points South. I was standing in an extremely long line waiting for the Greyhound bus, and this couple came sauntering over, staring at the long line and chatting to each other. A second line began forming for the same bus, and it was obvious that some people would not be able to board. I happened to be at the front of the first line and I had two suitcases with me. Since my back was hurting, I decided to prop one foot on one of the suitcases to ease the pain. For some reason the couple looked nervous and backed away. They then proceeded to approach the second line and boldly cut in front of everyone else. Later I realized that they had been planning to cut the line I was in, but for some reason my gesture and demeanor had made them uneasy about trying to. The thought that I scared them off without even trying to was funny! :)


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