Old aspie vs young aspie

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I think so.

Last edited by envirozentinel on 26 Jun 2017, 9:56 am, edited 1 time in total.: private info

Not true. The younger generation, in some but definitely far from enough cases, are picked up early in school. Many that grew up pre-DSM4 are just completely off the grid and it's impossible to compile statistics accurately because they're invisible (figuratively ).

I have met a few definate Aspies who are over 50, and they seem a lot more chatty than me. One of my bus-drivers is Aspie, I'm very sure she is, but she's good at chatting to the passengers, much more than I would be able to because I've learnt that I am no good with interacting with the public. Also someone at my other voluntary job was Aspie too (she had been recently diagnosed), and she was in her early 50s and was much more chatty to the customers than I was.

But I have 2 friends that are on the spectrum and are my age, and they seem a lot more quieter, like me, and fail to speak up to older people.

But I suppose I've been with NTs of my age too who don't really speak up to older people either. I often see older people greeting each other in the street even if they don't know each other. My mum and her sister do, but they don't greet youngsters and youngsters don't greet them or each other. So it might just be the older you get the more open you are to anybody (or at least you try to be). I think younger people are more shallow, and only speak to people who they really want to speak to. Maybe that goes for Aspies too.

Everybody changes as they get older. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a little different when I'm 50 than what I am now as a person in her early 20s.

People of my parents' generation often married because that was just the thing to do. There wasn't much of an option to do otherwise unless one wanted to become a nun or stay with your parents for the rest of their life.

My mum has at least traits of Aspergers', mainly sensory issues, very sensitive to touch, but this sort of thing was entirely unheard of at the time. So she married my dear dad, hoping things would work out. Of course they didn't really, and she was very unhappy throughout. Not dad's fault, he really did the best he could.

I was much more lucky there, went to university, got a degree and a job that always paid at least enough to keep my stomach full, so with similar problems in life, I had options that were more suitable to how I am.

I am 44 now, so too old for getting a diagnosis as a kid, but young enough to find working with computers and the internet easy, and therefore getting easy access to information.

My mother, who may had some form of ASD but i will never know, was pressured into marrying so was married to a psychopathic monster as that was her only option.

Options are more open now that you aren't forced into a bad marriage and can remain single or into an alternative lifestyle.

Older aspies are less likely to have been diagnosed so will be walking around thinking they are 'normal' and if that's the case they are more likely to be trying to fit in and do what the 'normal' people do.

I'm an older aspie (52) and spent my entire life knowing I wasn't "normal"; but not knowing exactly why or how. So I always did my best to fit in; sometimes badly; sometimes doing my own thing and baffling everyone who thought I was weird or eccentric. It was only four years ago that I discovered Asperger's and this site and everything dropped into place. My own doctor also thinks it is likely I'm Aspie too; though it is too much hassle to seek a formal diagnosis, especially at my age.

I've been similar - I'm 46 and wasn't diagnosed until age 34

Diagnosis gave me an identity crisis and still does as I'm not one of the 'normal' people any more but neither am I a fully fledged aspie as I've lived more of my life within NT culture, thinking I was an NT and this has left me in some kind of half aspie/half NT limbo whereby I don't fully relate to either side.

I think that there was less parental overprotection in olden days. I was not overprotected growing up, inspite of autistic traits. As soon as my speaking ability became OK, my parents had me make phone calls, so I would know how to make phone calls. Even NT children usually don't make phone calls to the phone company to complain about overcharges when they are eleven, twelve, thirteen. I know a mom who lets her teenage autistic son take the bus by himself to and from school, and she says that most parents wouldn't let their autistic kids do that.

Older generation aspies have had more experience. In 20-30 years time, younger aspies will have more experience of what society expects from them.

Also, it may seem like now someone is integrated to society properly they were always integrated, because even they have forgotten just how hard it was while they were learning the basics.

Agree . My psychologist said she beleives I would have to be very high functioning and aware of myself to research AS and present to her as a possible aspie.

A different person (more AS) may not see the signs and end up spending life living with the parents - Undiagnosed and not getting any help.

In my day a kid had to be really messed up to get any help at all with social adaptation. The usual 'diagnosis' was brat, spoiled brat, mommys boy, needs to get out more, spends too much time reading books, needs to play sports more, too sensitive, baby, cry baby , list goes on.......

Sure, I fit in perfectly in society. The seedy fringes of society, the low lives, welfare mothers, strippers. I was very naive and had no street smarts, was made fun of and taken advantage of because I did not know how to stand up for myself. I didn't know how to say no, didn't even know I could say no.

And I ended up that way all because I wasn't allowed to stay in my room, by myself, daydreaming, doing nothing, instead of out dating or going to parties and dances like normal girls.
How could such a shy quiet girl turn out so bad, the black sheep of the family. My brothers all had respectable normal lives, they finished school, married, raised their families. They would have nothing to do with me because of "the way I am" "something wrong with me' I'm "going to hell when I die".

They were supposed to protect me. My father was supposed to protect me. But everything was all my fault. I was just bad.

That's not the life I should have had. I should be married with a nice house in the country and a big family, because that's the kind of person I am.

I did go back to school in my 30's and learned some programming languages. I was able to get a job because I was really good at programming even though I never got a degree. I worked the night shift by myself, rarely coming into contact with other employees. It was the perfect job for me, I didn't have to worry about getting along with the other employees. The pay wasn't much, according to industry standards, but I was able to raise my daughter and help raise her two kids on my income because they had a deadbeat dad who wouldn't pay child support.

So I took care of the kids and worked my night shift job until it became obsolete and I was forced into an early retirement. Now the kids have moved out and I'm alone, except when they visit, living in poverty again.

This is probably too much information, but you asked.

Thank you Marybird for your heartfelt story
A lot of [unlucky] older aspies were DXed as schizophrenic, given electroshock and heavily medicated

My dad dealt with his aspergers/adhd by drinking even though he was a top engineer and head of a department
My mum went to church and was an extreme people pleaser