Trouble showing emotion.

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Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Yeah, it can be quite a shock at first, and it does take some time to process it all. I hope this forum helps you make sense of it all.

I don't show outward expression of emotion either. except I learned to smile to be polite. I think I have been so misunderstood by my family (my parents and brothers) because I didn't show enough emotion. They always thought I was mad or didn't care or something. My mother used to say I was always pouting.

This thread reminds me of something that happened when I was 13 or so. My older sister--who was married and had her own home by that time--had a collection of decorative plates that she hung on the wall. I hit one with my arm accidentally and knocked it off the wall, causing it to break. My sister was upset, and I felt bad for breaking it--it was an accident, after all--but not long ago, my mom brought that up and commented that my sister's husband told her that I "didn't show any remorse" after the fact. My mom said she responded with, "that's just Nick." I've learned in the interim that just feeling bad about it isn't enough--you have to actually show it somehow.

Thanks Nick.

From what I have read, I am average intelligence for an Aspie. THAT IS AMAZING NEWS. (I had an explanation typed here but I do not believe it is necessary FINALLY)

I always knew that my internal responses(or the lack of) were atypical. Most of my adult life, I have been studying/watching people, working in the hospitality industry. Initially reading the physical response markers of customers and reacting in a "patronizing/proper" way to gain tips etc. Now I know it was nothing more than a long term research project. A large logic problem plugged in to a forced social situation.

I am a recovering alcoholic, 3/17/07 is my sobriety date. I drank for many reasons, yet the main reason was to simply "unplug." Forced social interaction with NT's can be tiring to say the least.

Chrissy, my friend, has said that people need to take the time to read my facial expressions. I'm glad she does.

I generally retain a restricted or blunted affect, and show no reaction to what goes on around me unless I fake it, which I usually do

People have said that I come across as being a bit flat in showing emotions. But it does not mean that I do not still feel emotions deeply;

1. I just like to be in control of mine, because under my mask I am hyper-sensitive. (Inside, an emotional roller-coaster ride is taking place and can be extremely overwhelming so I try and zone-out, switch down and diffuse the blow a little).This can make me seem uncaring, cold and aloof.
2. It is a very private and intimate experience 'the sharing of emotions'. It is a privilege to share them as I don't want them trivialised, vice versa, only for the worthy
3. The way I was raised was with the strong, silent macho types like John Wayne. (Thank God that's changing...somewhere in the middle please)

Plus being in a position of authority in the work place you have to remain a little detached and run with logic as opposed to emotional reponses.

It's a bit like having an orgasm, you only share it with people you really trust or care about.

It is a bit similar here.

I'm often the calm person while everybody is in panic.
To give an example from my life: A synthetic cloth once got stuck on the tablet on which our pizza was, we put it into the oven and the cloth fell onto the bottom of the oven. It was 200°C hot, the cloth started to burn (no flames, but it was black and stuck on the ground in the end), we noticed the smoke, my mother seemed to be in a "stare at object" sort of panic or was maybe trying to process where the smoke comes from, my brother was shouting, I was the one who went to the windows to open them while my brother opened the oven. I took breathes outside of the windows to get some fresh air and continued opening more windows. In the end I went to hospital for a check (after all, you should not inhale toxic smoke and I accidentally inhaled a bit).
I felt weird for being so calm, but in fact at that moment I didn't really feel many emotions.

Talking about not being able to express them, often classmates (now that I'm not being bullied anymore) ask me if I'm fine (they seem to care now). Even if I'm in a good mood they ask me if I'm fine, this is annoying at times. Oddly, when I had a time when I was really down nobody even bothered to ask whether I was okay, I don't get it.
Other than that, I noticed that I think I express my emotions through facial expression more than I am actually doing it in real life, in fact it is not even as I think I'm doing it, I spectated this in a mirror. I look a bit bored most of the time. I guess this was one of the reasons doctors and parents assumed I was depressive or something of that kind.

On top of that, my debugger confirmed that I have a monotone voice and do not use gestures a lot in conversations, which is of course a way to show emotions as well.

I find I'm relatively calm when others are panicking, but I can get worked up in situations where others stay calm. Like, I handle emergency situations reasonably well (much to my surprise), but in other situations I tend to overreact.



Like you, I don't gesture a lot either; gestures I do make are usually for my own benefit, like when I'm trying to describe a place or an object and need to picture it in my mind. Nobody's ever pointed out whether or not I have a monotone voice, but it sounds a little flat to me when I play back audio recordings of my voice.

People always tell me to stop looking so serious or angry and my dad used to bug me about not caring about anything and he said I have no inflection in my voice and he would say "I know you don't care" I did care...it just took to much effort to express it. I would also stop talking mid sentence and there was very long pauses between words...I would often shut down completely and become mute when stressed. people say im hard to read...don't know what im thinking, ect...and it is all to do with my lack of facial expressions and very monotone voice...Always wondered why I was like that but ever since I accepted I have ASD I now have the answer.

This is definitely me. I often feel genuine enthusiasm or excitement for people, but I can't find a way to show it beyond "That's cool", and then they end up thinking I don't care. I also have trouble showing happiness. People tell me that I look angry even when I'm actually happy. I'm not sure whether this is one of the reasons no one really seems to like me. I feel like there's a wall between me and other people, keeping me from showing what's inside. I also feel like showing my emotions to other people is very intimate and sort of imposing on them. And I feel like showing happiness, in particular, makes me vulnerable because other people then have the option of ruining that happiness. Anger and sadness feel less dangerous to show, so I can do that.

My friend says that the only time I really show excitement is around animals. Whenever I see someone walking a dog I'm like "OHMYGOD PUPPY!! !!" and then I run up to pet it, and then I can talk animatedly with the owner and feel at ease. But other than that, it's like everything is locked away inside me.

I have always had problems displaying feelings or emotions, especially with the oposite sex. I just joined here the other day, but i can relate so much to a lot of the threads on here. I dont have a diagnosis but i do have ADHD. The more i read on here the more encouraged i will be to go to my Drs for a 2nd opinion.

I can express emotions, but how strongly I do so is directly related to the people around me and how comfortable I am in their presence.

I tend to be quite reserved, especially in public.