Did you have any problems when learning to drive?
I never learned to drive. I didn't have anyone to teach me. My mother doesn't drive either. There was no way she would have paid for lessons and even if I would have got my license we can't afford a car.
The few times I got to practice with friends in their car one thing I noticed is that although I'm not short when sitting in the driver's seat my vision seemed so obstructed, like I can barely see over the dashboard. I'm a bad judge of speed and distance and I can't tell where the car is. I have trouble paying attention to multiple things at once too.
I'm 18, got my permit on my 16th birthday but hated driving so I ended up having to renew my permit. I just want nothing to do with driving- at all. I've driven before and I just can't stand it. I've driven enough to the point that I should be used to it and know what to do.
One of my main problems is knowing when to turn and when to yield. I failed my first drive test because of that.
If I am driving I need to have someone next to me telling me what to do. There are times when I'm approaching a green light and I'll want to stop; I don't know why. I am not meant to be on the road. I prefer walking and bike riding anyways. I hope to live in a city where public transportation will be more convenient than driving.
+My step-dad tells me to try and give the other drivers eye contact. Does he know me at all?
+ Lack of concentration. I find that driving requires me to concentrate so much, and I get really tired quickly. When my concentration goes, I start to drive really dangerously and I can't change it.
+ Memory - manoeuvers. I found manoeuvers really hard to learn at first, and once I learnt them, if I didn't do them for a couple of weeks, I would have to completely re-learn them again. It wasn't just refreshing my memory, it took me the same amount of time to re-learn them as it did to learn them in the first place. This has happened more than 6 times.
+ Not being able to find reference points. Even now when I drive, I don't have a reference point. I must subconsciously as I always seem to drive in the same position, but not consciously as I couldn't find one. My step-dad asked me to try and line things on the car up with points on parked cars/kerbs as I was driving past, but my eyes couldn't 'draw a line' from my car to the parked cars/kerbs when I was moving, therefore I couldn't get one.
+ Judging speed/depth. I find this hard for some reason. For example, I'm hesitant when turning onto another road when I have to take the traffic on that road into account, as I don't know how far away they are. I think they're too close so I don't go, when really I could've gone.
+ My reflexes being slow. It took me a whole hour to get the 'Emergency Stop' quick enough. Also, once I got this right, if I hadn't used it in a few lessons, it'd be too slow, so I'd have to spend another lesson getting quick enough again.
+ I'm not flexible enough. My step-dad says "things aren't always so black and white!" He says this most lessons. For example, when I was learning the left reverse, I asked how much I needed to turn the steering wheel. My step-dad told me that all corners are different and that there isn't a set angle that you need to get around the corner, you need to "feel for it". I just couldn't do this as I had absolutely no idea how much to turn it. I have now realised that I need to turn the steering wheel 3/4 of the way to the left when I get to my exact point of turn, and then when I'm a certain distance away from the kerb (I know when it's right from using the left mirror), I can turn the steering wheel to the right again and carry on with the manoeuver.
+ I'm too exact/precise. For example, when I'm doing a parallel park, I make sure that that back wheels are in line with the car that I'm using to park behind by using my left mirror. If I'm slightly out, I have to correct it otherwise I won't be able to continue with the manoeuver, despite my step-dad telling me that it doesn't matter.
+ I am driving "too fast for the situation", despite not speeding. I often take bends faster than I'm supposed to, although it feels fine to me. I usually reply with "but I'm not doing over 30mph (which is the speed limit)" to which my step-dad will reply with "it doesn't matter, it's too fast for the situation." I will then ask how fast I'm meant to go, and he will say that there isn't a set speed limit that I can do as all bends are different, I need to feel what the right speed is.
Wow, reading all of those things written down makes me seem like a really bad driver, and a nightmare to teach! :/
nah it's fine. learning to drive is really about confidence, and learning limitations. also about 3 years of on and off practise before you really get used to it.
and learning not to focus. that's actually a bit of a hard one, because you can get fixed on making sure one part is correct, and then realise you're about to drive into another car.
You have to practise as a passenger, just take note of the spacing around you from the other side of the car, and how traffic flows and what each car ahead of you is trying to do, just from looking at their position relative to the road and to the other cars around them.
you have to assume some "blindness" in their reactions, the peripheral angle for most drivers is solely the 80" arc in front of them, they don't indicate, they don't look around, and don't use mirrors unless movement occurs within them. optimally, you want to make sure that you can see a car in each mirror, if only to feel confident that you can see rather than to worry about the content or distances using mirror estimates of distance.
the problem is that when you learn, there's no "maximum" and "minimum" only "safe" and "oh god, slow down, you're trying to kill me". the first time you lose control of steering or acceleration, you'll know how much give there is and respect it accordingly. until then, it's not always apparent how much leeway there is and when to be cautious.
unfortunately, driving instructors don't like it when you attempt a loss of control incident. basically, any time you feel your momentum shift you up or out of your seat, will cause the car suspension to lift off the road, and when it's wet, the wheels can slide, instead of brake. it can be terrifying if travelling faster than say, 50mph or 80kph, the car will not slow, it will not turn, it will slide into the nearest non-moving object at a decent rate. i find that this requires experience, and really, NT people do not like this experience. or even remembering it.
parallel parking is about making those erroneous turns, when you park, often someone will move, leaving you less room, and it's your job to make the 19 point turn to get out of a car park without collective angst and stress getting in the way. i usually like to picture bill murray in the groundhog day movie saying "dont drive angry", it helps me.
there's a few guides "life hacks" on how to do a parallel park using the side/rear mirrors of the car you start parallel with, since most cars follow a similar length and shape, the points in the turn, and the indicators of the estimated position can be worked out using relative positions, Photos help explain what to look for, and it won't cause you any issue with say, 5 attempts.
here's the anecdotal version http://lifehacker.com/5495739/get-bette ... el-parking i.e. the instructor version with all the smiles and akwardness
then, watch this version.
http://driver-safety.wonderhowto.com/ho ... ot-273114/
should cover most of the practical parking, even if their idea of "tight" is 5 car spaces.
as for Hill starts, ehh. never drive a manual if you can help it, as the instructors frown on holding clutch and accelerator together to feel your way into the differential clicking into first gear.
next is the tricky part, distance and speed. speed's hard without confidence, distance is relatively easy. find a car ahead, and count in seconds how far ahead it is using a marker on the road like a line or mark in the asphalt, or a divot, etc. if it's less than 2 seconds, from the time the marker appears to the time you drive over itm you need to slow to make more distance. the other common trick is if you're in traffic, and you can see the rear wheels of the car in front, not just the license plate and bumper, that's an ok distance of about a car length, and sufficient to avoid misjudged movement,
it can also help you estimate the braking distance when approaching stopped traffic, you'll become familiar with a sense of time instead of distances because there's no real external marker for distance to use, but you'll have a sense of how long it will take at say 50mph or 30mph to approach the other car's safe distance with practise, based on the size of the car from a distance, and how long it takes you to meet an imagined point in the road ahead.
this takes a bit of practise, the sense of relative speed, of how fast you're going in a moving flow of traffic.
as for "body language" of cars, trickiest one till last, but it's about imagination really. Practise this as a passenger, watch the car in front, and assume where they want to go from their micro-movements and posture, i.e. if they stay to the left or right of the lane, if they take longer to hit the brakes, if they change lanes when there's a car ahead of them, sometimes a model of car or size of car will tell you that they can make sharper turns or twist and pivot instead of glide into a turn, the key is to guess what each of the cars around you is trying to do, because it's usually not the person who's swerving erratically, it's the person who's on their cellphone, hasn't slept, is arguing with someone, etc. and forgets to judge the distances, who overcorrects in their lane, who's listing to one side and then steering back, who doesn't indicate on a lane change, who makes sharp bucking corrections instead of small corrections, that you have to avoid, because when they f**k it up, you'll likely be behind them and involved in their problem.
Don't make age based judgements on the driver or if you see a hat in the back window, well, you can probably make estimations based on a hat in a window, they rarely hold up. there are some truly exceptional cases where i live where age is really no indicator of speed, accuracy or what the hell are they doing now-ishness. also put in race, gender, colour, speed, awful, crazy driving knows no subtype.
then there's the total blindside accident, which just comes down to reflexes, and you'll be fine. if you can, avoid the experience, but really, be prepared for it. a car at 40mph/60kph is exceptionally fragile and will tear itself to bits if it hits something, momentum is not your friend.
Still, driving is more about conditional confidence, if you can keep your "personal space" free while driving, it's not so hard. most of the time, it's inane and boring, so you have to create the little mental distractions, it's far more stressful when someone else is in the car, because you're expecting them to speak, etc. but if you can juggle, so to speak, the act of keeping that space around you clear, and maintain the speed and distances from instinct and from memory, and keep an eye out for those hidden signage, stop signs, speed indicators, etc. it will help a lot.
also, get a GPS with the speed indicators, that shows how fast you're going according to satellite inferences and has updated speed zones/traffic congestion indicators, you'll inevitably miss a speed zone change in practical driving, and the GPS can help you visualise a route or correct you when you take a left or right in error. mine also gives a time estimate, which is handy for confidence and getting around. the handsfree phone feature also kind of helps disembody family "concerns" while driving.
eventually you can get to the stage where you can pick a random 1 hour destination, drive there, and drive back, you should try this out, it helps out your confidence levels immensely if you can "go that way" for an hour, and then find your way back home, even with the GPS on, or off.
Last edited by toliman on 31 Dec 2012, 10:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA
I almost didn't learn to drive. My mom took me out on the road to teach me -- that lasted about a half hour. Then my dad tried, with similar results. They finally resorted to contacting a driving school -- for months someone would come get me and spend a couple hours teaching me how to drive. I did finally get my license just in time to go off to college.
I still don't like to drive. I doubt I ever will.
_________________
If it don't come easy . . . .
. . . .hack it until it works right
Aspie score: 142/200 NT score: 64/200
AQ Score: 42
BAP: 109 aloof, 94 rigid and 85 pragmatic
I am not allowed to learn to drive.
It would be too dangerous due to my entire perception.
_________________
English is not my native language, so I will very likely do mistakes in writing or understanding. My edits are due to corrections of mistakes, which I sometimes recognize just after submitting a text.
Driving is ok for me and I do understand my limitations related to the fact that I really am unable to parallel park and reverse adequately into a parking place. I am proud of the fact that I have driven in various locations to include overseas. Learning to drive in another country can be a little tricky and I was very apprehensive. but I did it. I learned that I just had to go at an intersection and I did not think I could ever do it, but I did. Driving is something that can be really annoying if you let it get to you, but I have learned to let the very aggressive drivers go on past me and just think "oh well that person is a fool and has little brains."
_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure."
I've only driven a few times (I'm 18 and still don't have my permit - mainly because I just haven't been motivated enough to attempt to get it), however, every time I've been told that I drive well (and learn fast) except that I drive too close to the shoulder, and brake too "hard". (My perception must be messed up, and I just can't seem to brake smoothly.) I have recurring dreams of not being able to control the vehicle I'm driving (can't steer or brake), and I think that's part of the reason I haven't attempted to get my permit (I won't have an excuse not to drive, and have somewhat of a phobia that my dreams will become reality).
I spent several years driving at least an hour per day, about 350 days per year, with either my dad, mum or stepdad. Then I took several intensive courses and some less-intensive ones. Five failed road tests.
I won't say I didn't improve during my practice, but I never got nearly good enough to be a safe driver. I was stalling the engine, weaving all over the lanes, failed to develop an adequate sense for where exactly my car was (resulting in clipping other cars, bollards, even buildings at times), ended up in ditches or hedges, and had the occasional collision (not at speed, thankfully, so no real injuries).
After all that I got sick of bodywork damage and being shouted at, so gave up. Now that I have my dx it's going to be hard to even get a new learner's permit, so I doubt I'll ever drive on a public road.
I had issues with driving myself and didn't start driving until I was 28 regardless of how insistant my mother was to take me out so I can learn how to drive. My biggest problem was learning how to use the brake. Finally, thanks to a piece of heavy equipment that had a clutch and gear shift which I was made to operate or lose my job, showed me how to use the brake in a car. Then I bought a car and a driver's license about a year later. But, I still can't parallel park.
My anxiety gets out of control if I try to drive and I don't think I do a good enough job of keeping up with everything you need to pay attention to to be safe on the road. I explained this to my Mum and she's supportive of my decision not to drive. - I've also worked out I save heaps of money by not having the financial pressure of car ownership.
_________________
-M&S
?Two men looked through prison bars; one saw mud and the other stars.? Frederick Langbridge
It's funny, I don't feel as though I have too many issues driving.
For me, it's the OTHER people on the road that have the issues! lol
I like all the rules involved with driving. It makes it easier for me. There are rules for this and rules for that and I can follow rules. I hate it when that changes though, or areas where there are "exceptions to the rule".
I had an exceptional driving instructor and it made a huge difference. He gave me a lot of extra little rules to follow for parking, etc, and I followed that until it became second nature.
I hate driving to areas I don't know though as I can panic and not feel like a safe driver. I prefer to drive routes that I know, whether it is the best route or not. I am not a good driver when trying to find places I have never been before and prefer to get someone else to drive then if possible.
I can't have people talk to me when I am driving very well as I need all my focus on the road. I have to concentrate a LOT while driving, but I can do it. Yet other things that require multitasking I find difficult! Usually they are areas where things are new and there are no consistent rules though.
My driving instructor was very patient, and very helpful. These days I drive within my comfort levels and all is fine. I respect the rules and how dangerous the road can be.
I drive an automatic though, not sure how I would go with a manual!!
_________________
"Reality is an illusion of the construct of our brains"
"They cannot take away our Self Respect if we do not give it to them" - Gandhi
http://www.facebook.com/TheAspieCoach (Life Coaching for Aspies)
Maybe I can offer a diffrent perpective on this, I'am an aspie and I drive a full size race car on a track with up to 30 other cars, 1/3mile track weekly, I find this to be a very pleaseing and rewarding expirence and I do it with some pretty good finishs and consistancy(I don't crash) I beleave this is maybe the only sport AS may be an asset. with that said I managed to fail 2 written and 1 driving exam for 1 of the reasons you mention, and no tester liked me even when I passed. I don't like the road and perfer not to drive on it except to get to the track, why its stressful, scary, boring all at the same time. From what the OP discribed she is getting stressed and distracted like I did when I failed my tests, I could drive but not for someone with a clipboard writing about what as happening, my mind went blank. also look were you want to go and don't look at the steering wheel. lt your eye move your hand to keep the car going were eye looking, when you reach a corner look into(around) the corner, not stright ahead. put on some good music maybe that keep your mind off the other stuff that is likely 2nd nature now. driving is all instinct, you should not be thinking aboult anything. And I'm bad at stick too, good thing once the race car is in 3rd I don't have to shift again! and I prefer trucks, torquey engines that don't rev high and don't acclerate to fast and long wheel base that doesen't turn to fast parking. good luck!
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Learning acceptance to cope with losses |
18 Sep 2024, 8:19 am |
Big problems with my autistic son - any advice? |
12 Nov 2024, 5:49 am |
Telling a Guy About Your Health Problems |
Yesterday, 3:42 am |
Trump Rally Attendees Report Mystery Eye Problems |
20 Sep 2024, 8:20 am |