Did you act differently after finding out you had an ASD?

Post Reply New Topic

Not really. I refused to be defined by a label and be effected by it so I still got better instead of worse. I did go through a stage where I tried to be AS thinking that was how I was supposed to be and supposed to act. But I see I am not alone after I have read posts on here by members who would find out they have it and act more autistic.

In my case, I started to mention what was bothering me to my family as an attempt of solution to my feeling of discomfort in certain situations, but that was before even having a clue what Asperger's Syndrome is.

When I read a lot about AS and first suspected and accepted that I might have it, I just started to be myself, I gave up on this "I'm social and will try hard to be social"-game because I finally got this confirmation: That was not me and I feel much better being who I am and having a certain distance to society.
Since I started to do so after I mentioned that there is a very good chance I might have AS to my family, they first assumed I was projecting symptoms on myself, a bit like a placebo - which is not true. They are better now at accepting this suspicion, however, I think there is still a doubt and I think they just want me to be like before, but I'm tired of this game. Especially, my brother often mentions it directly to my face that I changed.
But I guess my blabbering about AS is annoying them the most, but I just think they do not take me as serious as I wish they would and try to "educate" them that way...

I didn't act any different than I normally do. I just thought "okay, I have autism." And that's about it. Just went on with my days as normal.

I do not have a diagnosis (yet), but the thought of having AS has brought about a great relief - more than I initially thought it would do.
Finally, I will be able to tell people that I can't help it, and that I can't just 'snap out of it' or 'pull myself together'. Furthermore, I think I will become better at forgiving myself and stop hitting myself over the head with the things I can't get to work out for me no matter how hard I try.

I am in a stressful period too, and I also feel that my AS is getting worse. I even avoid eye contact, something I haven't done before - I think. Or maybe I have just never thought about it and only recently become aware that this would be an issue.

I just don't have the energy to keep up appearances anymore, and I believe getting a diagnosis will make that more acceptable - to myself and others (hopefully).

I have, however, absolutely no intention of giving up on my dreams. Why should any of you? Maybe we need to struggle harder, but then that is what we have to do.
I think the trick is to turn your disability into your advantage. Use the 'good' AS traits to your advantage and avoid putting yourself in a situation where you have to do the things you are awful at.
Remember, it is not a bug, it's a feature

I felt like the great mystery of my being was finally answered, I changed into a state of acceptance and belonging.

My diagnosis was a sigh of relief and I no longer had to worry about being socially normal or being at the same level of my peers in any shape or form since AS has pretty much ensured from birth that such a thing can never happen anyway. Though even after getting diagnosed I still had much to learn especially that even among unpopular normal people I can still be considered pretty pathetic.

I did act differently for about a year, but I was having severe issues with other things such as recovering from being severed from my bio family without warning

It's been almost a year since I discovered I may have AS. It has been a huge relief in discovering that there's one thing that explains all of my problems.

I've stopped trying to repress my differences as much and just let myself be myself and it has been a huge help. I don't force myself to make eye contact anymore, I started letting myself rock back and forth (which has quickly become something that I can start doing without realizing I'm doing it)
I'm not trying so hard to conform to social norms and I have less stress because of it.

I may be perceived as being less "normal" now, but I feel more "myself".
I wish I had learned about this a lot sooner than I did.

Ditto.

Eventually my life would have been easier.

I was over 50 when I learned what AS was and realized that it fits me to a T. I can't describe what a relief it was to finally understand what was going on, why I was so different, why I've never had many friends, so many things that introversion alone didn't explain (though it was a relief to learn about that in my 30s as well - but all along it just didn't explain enough).

I'm not diagnosed by a professional. But I am certain I have Asperger's after much study on my own and going over childhood memories and taking test after test online. There's no better explanation.

In addition to relief, though, I feel a lot of sadness for my past self, because if I had known this as a child, teen, young adult, it might have helped me feel better about myself. At least that's the theory. I'm really not sure if early diagnosis is always better. It would depend, I suppose, on how others treat one as a result of the diagnosis. I also wonder if I would have gained the independence I did if I'd known I had an excuse for not doing some of the things I thought I had to do - in order to not wind up homeless.

So there's a lot of wondering, sadness, even some anger, and so forth, But mostly relief.

I was kinda confused at first. I was 16 when I found, and I'd never heard of it before. Neither did my family or most people I know/knew. Over time, I began to research AS and realized that I fit most of the symptoms. It was basically self-discovery.

When I found out at 14, I truly believed I had all of the symptoms and often exaggerated them or thought I had ones that I didn't have. For example, I thought I had major sensory issues when these had mostly faded away.

Nope. Going to work on formal diagnosis. My court appointed shrink thinks so. My ASD childrens Doctor thinks so. My ASD childrens teacher thinks so.
Regardless I will still be me.

Since I had reacknowledged I was autistic when I was fifteen after about four years of denial, and then got formally diagnosed at 19, it was just affirmation that I was right.

Edit: In other words, no, I didn't act any differently.

Love that!

If I'd known as a child or young adult, who knows if it would've been better? There's an up side and a down side to both early and late diagnosis. At least I'm an adult who has found good people to be around and who could find new people if the ones around me didn't understand. I'm respected, not looked down on, so it won't reinforce the kind of condescension it might've in the past. I would've hated going from, "You disappoint because you're too smart to be failing this way," to, "You disappoint because you're really incompetent to begin with after all."

Still, it's hard. I'm 44, and I got diagnosed last July. I've been spending the time since I began to understand that I might have Asperger's realizing just how much I'd suppressed, denied, ignored, masked, and avoided, as well as what I'd successfully learned to do, manage, compensate for, and work around. Now that I'm facing it and trying to adjust, I'm behaving in some ways that are unfamiliar to people around me. So, once again in my life, I'm not always being what people expect - and what some might even demand, if I'm not careful.

For example, in this thread, I said this:


My initial reaction to my eventual diagnosis was relief, coupled with the excitement of confirmation and the door to increased self-understanding being opened. Then I grieved, too, about what this all meant. Now I'm sitting with worry that I'm using it as an excuse for things (just in case I'm failing to push myself hard enough) or that others will think I am (which I wrote something about here) and the embarrassment of letting signs of my Asperger's out that I would formerly have hidden.

I don't feel so much that I have "Aspie pride" as that I see a need for a certain amount of rebelliousness in order to survive. If that means I need to explore stuff, work things out, and sometimes just plain refuse to hide and, therefore, I look like I'm behaving in a "more autistic" way, then so be it. I may get tired of fighting, but there may sometimes be no choice. So, I might as well rise to it as best I can, whenever I can. Let's face it: If I behave in an autistic way, it's because I am autistic. Why should I try to pretend I'm not something when I am? Isn't that the same as trying to pretend I am something that I'm not? How is it better to parade a lie than to admit to a truth? Wouldn't the lie be a much worse "display"?

For me, this has been the best part of this whole AS discovery process. I used to think my quirks and oddities were just...me, but it's great knowing that I'm not the only one who feels and acts the way I do.