Do you find it hard showing your authority?

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I could have said this, word for word. I have a history of bottling everything up and only telling my closest family about how I was really feeling. I had major issues with my in-laws for over 20 years and said nothing to them about it, until 2 years ago. Unfortunately, as it had been so bad for so long, when I told them what I was thinking, I was unable to keep calm. I didn't feel like myself at all, couldn't stop shaking and one of my legs kept waving up and down. It was almost like a moment of madness, but what I was saying was completely true. They think I'm the wrong one, due to the way in which I opened up to them. We haven't spoken since then.

Do any of you guys find that your assertiveness level is just right with animals? I've never yelled at or hurt my animals and I'm very patient with them, but I correct them when they need correcting and they know I'm in charge. I'm not so balanced with people.

I decide whether or not I want to be assertive.

That’s true it does seem easier with animals. Perhaps it’s because they lack that disagreeable trait call human nature.

I think I get very anxious and shutdown more often than I should. But the thing is most people don't see me as authoritative. They just find it easy to step all over me. One of my staff complained to the higher authorities that I did not have the required leadership qualities. So after that I started being less forgiving and more professional and I guess that is what one has to do ultimately.

I am very confrontational but also terrified of conflict...that's when my paranoia kicks in

I have authority?!?!?!?!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i78Y2B-ffv4[/youtube]

That would be me.
I'm like the Stormtrooper who doesn't know what droid he's looking for. Whatever someone tells me I accept. It is not until several minutes later that I am able to fully conceive what's been said and it's implications.

And that's a bad thing? You'd be saving 1000's of women and children from the sexual assault known as 'airport security'.

This isn't the thread you were looking for.

Funny! It took me a minute to get it but funny.

When my mental health is at its best I am capable of being assertive or authoritative when required. For example I worked in a few pubs and when dealing with an angry drunk you *have* to be assertive - if they are looking for a fight and you show your nerves then they will start the fight with you right there and then so you have to remain very assertive (on a side note I think things like working in pubs are what taught me to hide my AS so well for so long). Right now my mental health isn't amazing and I might lose my temper in the kind of situation when calm and reasonable assertiveness is required so atm I stay out of situations where I would need to display those attributes.

It's not nice for men either :/ Being a bearded man walking through security they choose you for "random" searches EVERY time. I don't especially enjoy getting my junk felt up by some random dude just because I can't be bothered to shave :/

I am *very* good at doing this with dogs; I have a particular friend and I am the only person who can control his dogs aside from my friend and his gf (i.e. their owners). One of the dogs in particular *really* likes me and always goes totally crazy when I visit; it's kinda nice to have "somebody" (even if it is a dog) be so happy and pleased to see me. My cat on the other hand I sometimes lose my temper with and raise my voice at her. I always hate myself for it afterward because I really do love the cat; in a way she is my best friend. The reason is that she has a very loud and piercing meow and is the most vocal cat I have ever met so she can be a bit of a sensory nightmare and I just can't take it sometimes She doesn't seem to mind though; she is still obsessed with me; in fact she is sat on the bed behind me, snuggled against the hoody I just took off, while I am writing this post. So I'm glad that it doesn't seem to damage our relationship.