Were you like an expressionless doll in your earlier years?

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omg, same goes for me... People always say I'm terribly nervous even when I try to hide it. People know when I'm really content about something, people know when I'm anxious, people know when I don't like them. Not able to hide my feelings in any way. My face is really expressive and so are my gestures and my tone of voice.

One of my biggest problems in life is that people always know when I'm nervous. Don't know how often I've been criticized for that in my life...

I was a very expressive, sociable baby. Nobody would have ever even guessed that I was on the autism spectrum. All the symptoms came pouring out when I was 4-5 years old. From birth til about 4 years, I was like any other typically developing baby. I have proof by my parents and grandparents telling me, and all the photos I have of me as a baby.

I was like a wooden doll for a lot longer than my earlier years, I have thawed out quite a bit and grasped the distance between, understanding and encouragement have helped, but this has taken a while to find. I am often shielded and behind but I also recognize the thicknesses and can get through them through a swifter process due to my slow emergence from the cocoon. I wouldn't say I used to be impenetrable but I was unwillingly/unwittingly faraway before the autistic concept emerged.

I was an expressionless doll then and I'm an expressionless doll now.

I don't let others judge me, though. I play it up by using really delicate and pink colored makeup, with carefully picked out clothing that makes me look as much like a doll as possible. If they're going to stare at me, I might as well give them something to look at!