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Tahitiii
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08 Feb 2013, 10:54 pm

Jammin wrote:
...People don't take the time to ask they just assume... People read me all wrong...
I think that’s what happens with me, except that no one actually says anything useful. Once in a while a story comes back to me that is so insane that I never could have guessed. Where they get their crazy notions, I'll never know,
Sometimes I figure things out in hind-sight. Sometimes I never do; I just give up and walk away. The non-standard body language thing is my best guess.

As for not having "appropriate" non verbal actions, I''ve gotten really sick of that word. It says nearly nothing, but implies so much. It's so condemning. It's just one more part of the NT bias. I refuse to accept language that puts me down. It's bad enough that others do it, I don't have to help them,.



Sweetleaf
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08 Feb 2013, 11:28 pm

seaturtleisland wrote:
My parents assumed I couldn't lie because I had AS. Other people who knew about it did the same.

I probably started lying later in life than most people and by the time I did I had the intelligence to hide it more easily than a toddler who was just learning to lie.

So my parents always assumed I was telling the truth and I never got caught in a lie until I revealed I was trans and they realized I am capable of deception. I can keep secrets and I can lie.

Sometimes other people's assumptions benefit you.


People seem to assume that about me, well except some people in my family know that I sometimes say I am doing better than I am but they don't really know half of what I say isn't exactly whats going on. My whole family does it though, I remember i used to feel strongly about that sort of thing for a while I was sort of obsessed with following the rules because I guess I thought that was what you had to do...though I don't condone any of the bullying I received it probably didn't help when I had my 'don't break the rules.' phase I can see how that could have been annoying....but eventually I kind of realized most people don't care that much about it, people lie and tell half truths and break rules all the time and sometimes to their benefit so now I don't really have an issue with it and can get away with it. Not to mention I don't make much eye contact in general so no one can really say I am being dishonest because I wont look at them because I probably wouldn't even if I was. For example when I was like 10 i would have probably had the urge to tell someone eating on the bus not to because its not allowed, now on the city buses theres a no eating sign but even the bus drivers eat on the bus so I would look stupid trying to enforce a rule even the drivers don't care about.

No one knew I had AS but they knew how I was and that I seemed like someone who would be too anxious to be able to lie and I was at first but that was before I realized I feel anxious even if I am perfectly honest and don't do anything anyone close to me would disapprove of so it really makes no difference.


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MjrMajorMajor
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09 Feb 2013, 2:10 am

People make assumptions all the time, but nothing gets me angrier. I have constantly encountered people who think they know better than me, or assume there know what's in my own best interest without consulting me at all.
People assume I'm not that bright. People assume I'm completely immature. They assumed they shouldn't tell me I was autistic, because that must be a death sentence or something. :roll: People assume I exaggerate my difficulties. They always assume, because listening takes a little more time and effort, and I assume they have better things to do..



epitome81
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09 Feb 2013, 3:23 am

Assumptions are horrible and without them being resolved lead to trouble, but I think all humans do it and have to work really hard to avoid it. Even with the utmost caution it seems to be very hard to find the truth without stumbling on a flawed assumption until you know exactly what you're dealing with. It's even hard with people you know the best because everyone has their sudden changes and secrets. I try to avoid it and stay open to correct wrong assumptions, but on the surface when encountering a new person or situation one will probably arise...


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DJFester
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09 Feb 2013, 6:30 am

People are always making incorrect assumptions about me, or wrongly accusing me of having ulterior motives. It drives me nuts.


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Jammin
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10 Feb 2013, 9:02 pm

All of you guys, I relate to your stories! Tahiti quoted me and commented on it. Non verbal language sure is condemning but not very useful. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I think many people think they know what's best for me without asking. I'm glad that I found this sight. You people are my people, with that, I don't feel alone anymore. Thank you.