Do you feel too 'mild' for WP?

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Is the opposite for me.
I feel more severe than the majority of the people here.
I see threads everywhere where people say they are tired from trying to be someone else they're not, while actually I can't even "copy" others, because I don't care, and I neither know how to do it. Most people here seem to have greater empathy or "tact" than I do.
It also looks like I can't relate to the majority of the people here, expecially those who say they almost never smile, have high social anxiety levels and are too serious are totally different from me.

i have native intelligence but very little judgement. i sometimes write long and detailed posts on this site which are completely ignored, so my question is whether anyone wants to hear what i say, and i can never calculate an answer to that question until i see threads proceed unaltered by my contributions to them.

i have a very severe disconnection to popular sentiments, and even though what i say may be well constructed, it is most often irrelevant to the social flow of conversation.

in my case, i talk blindly to those who do not want to know what i think.

I don't like this 'mild' term

I also think a lot of social snobbery emanates from the so-called 'mildly affected' towards those with a more pronounced ASD presentation

If a person thinks their ASD is mild, why not go to an NT forum or set up a 'My AS is only mild - I'm not one of those really ret*d ones' forum? Because this is how the people who are so insistent on pointing out how very mild their ASD is come across to me

I can relate to that sometimes, and do enjoy your posts. Personally, there are many many posts I don't respond to because they don't seem to require a response or I just don't know how to reply in a helpful or meaningful way.

I haven't met enough people with Aspergers to be a judge on any severity range. I don't require home assistance, but many life skills did take a very long time for me to learn and a lot of trial and error to get there. I'm extremely lucky to have a husband who can put up with my quirks and occasional meltdowns, and loves me anyway. I met him, and a few other people over the years by pushing through extreme anxiety, stubbornness, and pure dumb luck. I hold down a part time job by the skin of my teeth. WP can mask a lot of limitations a lot of us do have, do to the autism friendly nature of posting vs IRL interactions.

I always like your posts and relate a lot more to them than those of the mildly affected types, who seem ashamed of their ASD in my opinion and keen to mix only with people more like themselves

For the most part, I think I fit in here on WP. I like learning about people and like knowing that others go through the same things as I do. Occasionally, I feel like an outsider though. In real life, I pass off as "normal" until you get to know me better.

I see the mild/severe classification as a bit of a red herring tbh. In some areas I would be considered mild and in other areas, less mild.

I found this site to be a revelation since, having always felt like a weird outsider, discovering that so many people have similar problems and histories was absolutely mind-blowing. I am hugely grateful that this site is here and, though we are all different with individual strengths and weaknesses, I feel for the first time in my life I am around like-minded people.

what lm reading in this thread is basically me. Though l know l wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis.

l am very "aspie on the inside" as one poster said. l can feel a huge disconnect and know there's this entire world inside me that l have to pretend doesn't exist and try not to fall into. But honestly way too normal outwardly, and when l am "on", l have excellent social skills.

Can l ask if those of you who are too mild were diagnosed pretty early in childhood?

l like your posts actually. They aren't really irrelevant.

l don't know how to reply most of the time. lf you want an outsider perspective l would say it's that you don't seem to be coming from any particular,solid viewpoint. So while l think a lot of what you say is really interesting, l just think about it and l don't really know how to direct a response to you. Becase it's hard to gauge where you're coming from.

Which isn't a bad quality, l have this issue sometimes. lt's about existing outside of a very narrow "self", l have to adopt some kind of self to really have views and a communication style that actually sounds like it's coming from me and people can respond to. lt gets tiresome.

adding that a person who thinks like this could be an excellent writer and easily come up with material that seems like it's coming from several different sources.

That sounds familiar. I'm able to fake normal here and there, so people perceive me as normal and judge me as rude, selfish, etc. As a child I was scolded for not acting right and told from time to time to 'stop acting autistic.' because I scored average or high on standardized tests and retreated into books, I was not seen as needing any help. They said it was my fault when I struggled to pass certain subjects. Because I can obtain college degrees and keep a job, I'm still not seen as needing any help. I've spent my whole life trying to hide my issues and appear normal out of a strong desire to BE normal. What people see on the outside typically gives no indication of what's going on inside.

And honestly, what I hav does not feel mild at all to me. To say I struggle every day w normal social interactions does not adequately describe my daily difficulties, and the stress is almost constant. I typically leave work extremely agitated from far too much social contact, and often it takes me hours to wind down. My drive home is usually agonizing, because I can't wait to get into comfortable clothes and simply move around after sitting and trying so hard to not scratch or fidget all day long.

I think people visit this website, because their struggles are enough to warrent acknowledgement and understanding. I don't think someone who is truly mild would be here, because they would be able to fake normal relatively easily and not be subjected to the experiences reported in these forums.

I am undiagnosed but higly suspected ASD since i was a teenager. I used to think I was extremely mild since I was never diagnosed and have held down a job for several years. However some observations by myself and by other people have made me think I am somewhere between mild and moderate. I have been limiting talking about my obsessions ever since I found out about Asperger's. Because of that I thought I was good at appearing normal. However I have found out that I don't seem very normal after all. Even though I limit obsession talk I still get told that I go on and on about the same things. Many people have noticed my social skills are not very good and have frequently made comments such as " we need to teach her social skills". These comments are made after I say or do something that I think is normal. One friend who noticed my poor social skills is attempting to teach me social skills pointed out social mistakes I was not aware of. Another friend told me her first impression of me was that I seemed autistic. From all of that I can see that I really do not know how to appear normal and am unaware of most if my social oddities. Therefore I must be less mild than I thought. My job is very aspie friendly as it involves very little social interaction. However my social skills- which I thought have improved greatly- and organization issues come up every year in my evaluation. Despite that my evaluations are overall good because my work skills are highly valued. Also I can relate to most of what I read on this forum.

Sometimes I feel I'm ''not Autistic enough'' to be on WP talking about Autism-related issues. I often worry that some other members might think I'm an NT pretending to be Aspie just for the fun of it or making fun of others with AS. I can assure you that I am not an NT, as much as I wish I was. I think if I were NT I would have better things to do than to spend every day pretending to be Aspie online just to spite other Aspies.

Secondly, I often receive unhelpful advice from some members here. Like if I say about people staring at me funny in public, I often get the reply ''you're probably doing something odd what you don't know about'', and I'm like, ''no, it's not like that....'' and it just becomes too difficult to explain about how self-aware I am. Also when I talk about Social Phobia and worrying too much about what people think of me, I just get the reply ''just don't worry about what people think of you any more''. It's so hard to just do that when you've got the same sort of self-awareness as the average NT.

I once pm'ed you, saying you could send me a photo of yourself and I would see if there was anything that might be causing people to stare but you didn't even reply. I thought that was quite an NT-style reaction and made me switch off from bothering to read your posts to be quite honest.

I can relate. You have to realize that some people's problems are more invisible or visible than others'. Social anxiety alone can be more debilitating than a typical case of Asperger's.

I think individuals with autism have the potential to have better self-awareness than the average NT because we have more incentives to work on it.

Another term, like "high functioning Autistic" which really is mis-leading. From my own biography, it seems people often move up & down the Spectrum. A reminder, I was mute at 18 months to over 3 years, but regained speech. Even then, if my doctors/parents had been more aware or of the last generation, I would hacve been dxed Autistic. No doubt about that at all. But that was 45 or more years ago. At 50 I could pass for NT, though I definitely still have some social issues. ( not to mention I cannot tie my shoes though I have a high IQ). At times I feel more isolated, other times I long to move away from people & retreat back inside myself.
Up & down the Spectrum. I do believe I am not the only one, but sadly very little written about Adult autistics.

Sincerely,
Matthew
PS. Either way, I definitely like being on this Site!

I know a person with social phobia. She never goes out of her room, even if she must go to hospital (the doctor must go to her house to visit her).


Not sure about this.
I don't realize I'm doing something wrong in a social situation (even not a social one), because I think everything I do is fine and perfectly normal.