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Webalina
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17 Feb 2013, 3:14 am

Not often, but occasionally it's happened. I'm a woman, but not very girly -- never have been. I've always related to guy stuff better than girl stuff. I rarely wear dresses or makeup, and am not interested in marriage, kids, romance novels or Oprah. But I do like men -- A LOT! -- and have no sexual interest in women. But because of my lack of social graces and my fear of dating, I've had very few men in my life, and several of the ones I did have were married. Since my family never saw me with these men (the married ones anyway), they assumed I must be a lesbian. And I was never told directly; I heard it from other members of the family who would say "So-and-so mentioned to me that they wonder if you were gay." I never got teased or bullied because of it, though, and the few people outside the family who suggested the idea seemed to just ask out of curiousity rather than malice.



Jayo
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17 Feb 2013, 4:25 pm

You know, one thing I've noticed about the gay accusations (that I've had, at least), is that they always seem to have a sarcastic component to them. Like the bully doing the accusation is just mocking you, but is reasonably certain that you're not really gay. Like that one drunk psycho who pretended to come on to me and tell me that I was hot, at a party, with his drunken friends looking on and jeering me.

Also when I was 18 and working at McDonalds, this one guy I worked with regularly tormented me that I must be gay - I realize in hindsight (as part of the Aspie long-term memory) that on break one day, I looked at my fingernails with him present in the break room and said that I really need to trim them. Obviously, that's due to the Aspie tendency to have trouble filtering thoughts (almost like a Tourette's thing, if you think about it!) On various occasions, he insulted me, shoved me against the wall a couple of times, and I found my new running shoes missing after a Saturday shift (I'm sure it was him). Complained to management, and was given the standard phrase, "OK, we'll look into it" but nothing happened. Funny thing is, this guy was Jewish, so you'd THINK that he would understand what it's like to be persecuted for being different and standing out, but no, he was quite merciless with Aspies and perceived homosexuals. :x :x
(and no, I'm not of Palestinian or Arabic ancestry.)



howzat
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17 Feb 2013, 4:27 pm

I was only accused of being gay during my school days after when i left school never been accused of being gay.



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17 Feb 2013, 9:06 pm

I'm still accused of being gay. I have no sexual urges or interests in men. Women all the way.
But I rarely date and have difficulty meeting anyone because I spend most of the time by myself. If I'm at a bar or something (which is rare) I'm always sitting alone and just enjoying my beer.
One of my coworkers (a new guy) was convinced that I was gay. Finally some other coworkers and our boss had to convince him otherwise. They told him that my priorities are different than his (he's married and likes to go out and cheat on his wife and is proud to admit as much) and that I am NOT gay.
Ever since it's been his goal to get me laid. :/
But ever since I was a kid, I've been accused of being gay. I used be interested in sports, but that faded as I grew older and got into more mind-expanding things. But that led to me being called gay and what-not. I usually just ignore people, but I have been known to just explode and get in someone's face for calling me gay. I almost got fired once because I had to have some coworkers pull me off a visitor to our job. He called me gay and I got really angry. I'm usually calm and quiet and I consider myself a pacifist. I don't like to fight.
But he pissed me off when he called me gay, because he assumed I was without even questioning me.



cyberdad
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18 Feb 2013, 12:09 am

Tyri0n wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
I was considered gay in university, ironically it was NT girls who were the most homophobic toward me (so much for the myth that being gay means you can make friends with girls). My only friend was gay so that probably didn't help :wink:


No offense, or ageism intended, but I think things have changed with respect to straight girls from the time you may have been in university.


True, society does change...lucky I wasn't at school with Mitt Romney :wink:



IlovemyAspie
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18 Feb 2013, 12:26 am

When my friend told me that he had AS he started off by saying that in order for me to understand where he was coming from he had to disclose something to me. He said "and no, I'm not gay". That never crossed my mind but apparently it had come up enough for him to mention it to me. Probably because of the list mentioned at the beginning of the thread. Although he is able to get a girlfriend.



FishStickNick
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18 Feb 2013, 2:09 am

Some classmates in middle school seemed to think I was gay. My brother used to taunt me about it too.



WrongWay
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18 Feb 2013, 4:14 am

I'm totally straight, and haven't really been accused much (apart from one friend who asked me with good intentions, not 'accusing' but nevertheless still could have thought I might be). But some of the things which could cause people to suspect could be things related to 'masculity' (a concept I don't buy) which don't actually equate to being gay, such as being caring, preferring cooperation over competition, being shy, not having a girlfriend (whilst having several 'girl friends'), etc.



murasaki_ahiru
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18 Feb 2013, 6:11 am

Not directly but I know some people think it about me.


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johninoz
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23 Nov 2013, 11:45 pm

'Accused'?? Wrong word- I am proud to be gay, and an Aspie!

No- I get mistaken for being straight at times, and was chased and bothered by girls at school- which makes it doubly difficult being gay, and aspergic (with ADD on top of that).

Should anyone ask if I am gay in a negative or accusarory manner, I just tell them to f**k right off outa my face right in their face...



johninoz
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23 Nov 2013, 11:50 pm

'Accused"??? Wrong word!

I have been mistaken for straight, and do not really care either way how I am perceived...



CharityFunDay
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24 Nov 2013, 12:14 am

I often used to get accused of being gay (aged around 14/15) due to my social aloofness and pedantic manner of speaking. At that stage, I hadn't even begun to go through puberty so hetero and homo sexual desires were far in the future. As it happened, when I first began to display sexual interests (aged 18 or so) they were entirely heterosexual, and I didn't begin to experience homosexual feelings until I was in my early 20s.



pete1061
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24 Nov 2013, 12:46 am

No, I haven't been accused of being gay.

But a surprising number of people have assumed that I am Jewish :?
(I'm not implying any associations, just citing a frequent assumption people have made about me)


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IdahoRose
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24 Nov 2013, 1:41 am

I actually am bisexual, and when I came out at age 14, my mom told me that she my older sisters had suspected that I was attracted to other girls due to my lack of interest in boys and the fact that I was very intense about my relationships with my female friends (especially my best friend).



CharityFunDay
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24 Nov 2013, 2:00 am

I envy those who were aware of their sexuality at an early age. I never was -- and perhaps that was a good thing considering my social environment at the time -- but it could have spared me years of confusion.



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24 Nov 2013, 2:02 am

Everyone except my close friends and the women I dated thought I was gay due to my lack of fanatic obsessing over women. I'm cis-hetero; always have been.