Do you ask other people questions about themselves?

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I know I'm supposed to but I only end up asking questions when I'm actually curious about something, in which case it will be something very specific (how did your test go? What kind of dress did you get?). Asking vague questions just to ask them seems very fake and makes me feel dirty.

I only ask questions when

A.) The person interests me (not very often)

B.) My mom tells me to at least try to have a conversation with someone other than her

But honestly, I don't talk to anyone except my mom and sometimes my dad voluntarily. I just either am too anxious, afraid, or about to have a meltdown to talk to people. Besides, I get out of the house maybe twice a week, just mostly for car rides, so I don't really have to talk to people.

I know that I will monologue about the things that are interesting to me right now and alienate the person or people I am talking to unless:

1) I mostly listen.

2) I ask open-ended questions

3) I ask about things I know they care about or recently indicated an interest in.

For example, there is a person I often ride the train with. Every so often she asks about something I could go on for hours about, and I try to control that by asking questions.

Open vs. closed questions: I won't ask "did you like that movie?" The reply could be a dead end like "Yes" or "No."
Instead, I ask something like, "What did you think of the movie?" or "What did you think of the way they used light in that movie?"

Something the other person has talked about:
"How did that discussion go at your job?" This would be in reference to something she recently talked about. Then I just listen while she tells me what happened since she first told me about the situation. Sometimes I then have some comment to make about one of the new things that she said.

If I want to say something and really don't know what to say, I ask how her husband or daughter are doing. She cares very much for them and will always have something to say. She will often then ask about my family and I can tell her a few details of new things in their lives.

In addition to the actual subject of our conversation, which is often quite interesting, this is a long, ritualized way of saying: I care about you and am glad that you care about me.
Doing this regularly is one of the things that reestablishes our friendship.

I do, but not often enough. I catch myself talking too much about myself or my interests, and then remember to ask my NT friends about themselves, their work, their interests, their families etc. People like talking about themselves and sharing those things.

In virtually every sales training guide ever, it's all about asking questions and listening, because people like to talk about themselves. The ol' God gave you two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much as you talk advice. And it works, big time. I had once read a sales training thing that said if you follow this technique, others will do most of the talking, and then will thank you for the conversation - even though you didn't speak much. The next day while selling & making appointments at a trade show, I put this into practice the best I could.. and like deja vu, some woman who talked quite a bit while answering my open ended questions ended up shaking my hand and thanking me for the conversation before she left. It works!

And while regular conversations aren't exactly selling a product or service, you ARE selling yourself as a conversationalist, or as a friend or however you want to look at it - so the transferrable skills & knowledge from sales discussion training definitely carries over into every day life and makes complete sense. This was also very evident in my years as a bartender as well, and like anything, the more you practice it - the better you get.

I don't feel comfortable asking this as i think i would be feeling pushy, but willing to listen if/when they talk about themselves anyway.

I never know what to ask

This is the first I'm hearing of this, to ask questions. Huh, I'll try it.

I don't ask people questions about themselves unless I know them very well, like family. Mostly I don't like to be asked questions about myself. I feel like it's an intrusion and don't know what to say and I don't want to answer because I feel like I'm being forced to answer. but in a discussion, like on this forum, I don't mind talking about myself, when I choose to.
I would rather people just start to monologue about themselves or their interests rather than ask me questions about myself.

I try to make an effort with someone who may have the same interests as me so theres a opening to a conversation but usually it's forced and awkward and I end up boring them going on about history. I never really know what to say most people so kinda don't.

I avoid asking personal questions, even slightly personal ones, because if I do, then I'm inviting them to ask me the same. So in general I just don't talk. If I talk with someone, I usually stick to non-personal things such as good restaurants, good recipes, what's nutritious etc.

I don't react annoyedly or offendedly when someone asks me a personal question such as my age etc, but I clearly tell them I don't like being asked such questions, which sometimes offends some people. They shouldn't be asking such questions if they are offended by not getting the answer.

I have gotten pretty good at conversation. Years of practice and thought. I ask tons of questions. When I was younger, I did much more rambling on, and at some point realized it, and heard somewhere that asking questions and getting people to talk about themselves is a good way to interact. So now I monitor my conversations to make sure they don't go off on a me thing.

I think it is my obsession to learn everything about everything. So I ask people what they do, why they do it etc. The hardest part is the beginning when I a fishing fir a topic that they seem to respond to, then I just interrogate them about it, and try to joke while I do it. They seem to like talking to me because 'I seem genuinely interested in what they have to say'. And I actually am. I do not understand people, and find their choices fascinating and if I ask enough questions, I start to see their logic, even if it is still stupid to me. Letting them talk about their job or hobby is the most interesting because I learn stuff separate from the person.

I had to learn to do this. I discovered that not asking pople questions about themselves can cause them to take offence when my mother began to complain about it ("you never ask me how I am" and so on). It would never have occurred to me to do it without this prompting - I, too, assumed that if someone had something to tell me they would do so. But apparently not. So now I make a conscious effort to note what they tell me about what is going on in their lives and ask them about it later. For example: Have you recovered from that cold yet? How was your holiday? Etcetera. It doesn't feel natural to me, but I do it because I understand it is one of those things NTs expect when they have a relationship with you.

Mind you, not asking people questions about themselves doesn't mean I talk about myself all the time. In fact the opposite is true - I'm selfconscious about people thinking I'm weird so I always steer the conversation away from myself if it looks like it is going there. Otherwise, I tend to let the other person steer the conversation altogether.