Have you ever been burned by someone you trusted?

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Getting lied to and betrayed? Of course it does obviously.

What strikes me as funny is everyone you talk to after blames YOU, not the liar/betrayer. It is your fault for believing your sister would pick you up from the airport, why did you believe her are you stupid or something? You state there is nothing in her history or our relationship to suggest she would have done this. They say maybe not but I figured she was being untruthful right off the bat and not counted on it, she just didn't want to openly deny you.

Clearly they are seeing something I'm not.

I think the conveyance is that "normals" are far more into being intentionally cruel, manipulating, playing mind games, taking advantage of etc. by far than auties/aspies. They seem to be far more inclined to be tyrannical. It's one reason that I'm glad I'm not one of them.

I get the impression though that a lot of this is because they are more adept at it; their brains actively facilitate being like this

I know for a fact that my brain just doesn't work fast enough to do all the cruel mind game stuff - it's too much like hard work for me

Perhaps if it was easier for my brain to do I'd do it more though

or if I was able to do it more NTs would recognise the signs of malice in my face and thus not see me as vulnerable

I get the impression NTs recognise me as slow-witted/non-threatening, hence I'm a prime target

I know what's happening but I can't respond in kind very well as I'm always having to move at a much slower brain pace and they know this!

I have a tendency to expect the worst, and see who proves me wrong. I've never been the best judge of character right away, but I think I'm getting better, and time will usually tell if not.

Practically everyone that i have met during my life has betrayed me.
I trust a few people, and that does not include all my friends.

Unfortunately i have only just been diagnosed as ASC. ASC was not recognised when i was a kid.
It is a shame, as perhaps i and those around me would have protected me from these people more or
at least prepare me for their sadism.

I grew up surrounded by drug addicts, who were abusive, violent, sadistic and untrustworthy by their very nature.
I also had a short marriage to a sociopathic woman who portrayed herself as a "spiritual" Jehovah Witness. She also did everything she could to abuse me, took advantage of my kind nature, tried to set me up to look like the abusive one (she did all she could to make me have meltdowns, and if i went nuts, she would then turn around and tell people that she was being "mentally abused". I think she is the biggest c@nt that l have ever met).

As well as the abuse that she subjected to me, she committed adultery and (i believe) tried to murder me days after my own brothers death. My own brother, who was addicted to heroin, who spent most his life abusing me. But also in all fairness, entertaining me to some extent.

So. I would say that i could say that i have been burned...more than most. but keep on fighting. just because some of the people out there are jerks doesn't mean that everyone is or that you are.

I've been burned many times by the person who gave birth to me. I still keep my contacts with her, because family's important. It says so in the Bible.

All.the.time. It's to the point I no longer leave my room.

Oh yes. By two people who I thought were my best friends. I still feel like I can't get over it.

Many, many times, but most recently, a few months ago I tried to catch up with some people from way back, we used to be good friends. I was doing really well despite my issues after having been isolated and depressed for a long time, but I had no friends or social life so I tried reaching out. They actually ignored me. They responded at first, then they just stopped. I still don't understand it. Only one of them, a girl I didn't even use to be that close to, would talk to me like a human being. That, people I considered friends once, acting like I was just noise, in combination with people at work taking advantage of me and making me do stuff that was their responsibility, not mine, made me give up on everything. It felt like knives were twisting in my back. I understand now that dreaming of a "normal" life is a waste of time. So I quit my job, stopped trying to get a social life and after being depressed again for a while, now I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here, how to make a good life for myself my way, without depending on others and without having to tolerate being stepped on. I've been through quite a bit, but this is actually what I think hurts the most. I feel like the few friends I ever had were a lie, maybe they never really cared about me at all.

-_-''

More times than I can count...

Not gonna go into that - but am gonna say what helps me maintain feelings of self worth, and help avoid burnage.

Define your values - ask yourself every day are you living your life in accordance with them - if you are - then you can feel good about yourself. It doesn't matter what other people are doing - because you're being your best version of yourself - according to what is important to YOU!

This has also helped me to identify people who are more likely to burn me - do they behave in ways that live up to my value set? If the answer is yes... then slowly slowly I might begin to trust them. If they don't - I distance myself, and try not to invest in them. That way I don't give them the power to burn me. This also helps because I go off what they DO, not what they say.. because I suck at reading between the lines. I still mess up and get burnt, but not as badly, and not as often... but hey - I'm only human

I was thinking about literal burning.

you're funny...but in a good way...

Me too. I guess it has another, US-centric meaning?

Yes, almost every time, including my wife. I spend most of my time wondering who to trust next.

My 2nd girlfriend broke up with me after I gave her space for a week to focus on her school stuff. I did have problems with my anxiety & OCD within our relationship that caused me to get really clingy & needy but I had started a med for anxiety & was gradually improving. I guess it was too little too late.

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
- Mark Twain