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Which of these 4 is your attitude towards people?

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Guineapigged
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28 Mar 2013, 3:38 am

None of them. I have no desire to have friendships or relationships.



MikaNeko
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28 Mar 2013, 4:49 am

Number 4 mostly and probably a bit of number 3 too.


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Modefi
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28 Mar 2013, 12:50 pm

2 and 4 i would say



Ai_Ling
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28 Mar 2013, 1:44 pm

Quote:
1. You desperately want relationships and friendships and are lonely that you don't have them / have enough of them.

2. You don't really want them, but you think you are supposed to.

3. You sort of want them, but building relationships is exhausting, frustrating, and takes too much work for you, so it's not worth going through the flames for a meager result.

4. You like the idea in theory, but finding actual human beings who are suitable (around whom you feel comfortable, who aren't boring, exhausting, etc.) is daunting or impossible.


Probably mostly 1 and its been 1 for my entire life pretty much although things are changing. And I also went through plenty of 2 with the "I was suppose to have them" part. Sometimes I think 3 but in certain circumstances. If I dont like a particular settings, I just dont like it and just surviving is tiresome enough.



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28 Mar 2013, 1:54 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
Quote:
1. You desperately want relationships and friendships and are lonely that you don't have them / have enough of them.

2. You don't really want them, but you think you are supposed to.

3. You sort of want them, but building relationships is exhausting, frustrating, and takes too much work for you, so it's not worth going through the flames for a meager result.

4. You like the idea in theory, but finding actual human beings who are suitable (around whom you feel comfortable, who aren't boring, exhausting, etc.) is daunting or impossible.


I realized I don't know whether I'm 1, 2, 3, or 4. I definitely have some of 4, but I don't know which of the other 3 describes me. I honestly don't...

Is it possible for someone to be 2, 3, and 4?


A bit of 3 and 4. With 3, I wouldn't say it's a meagre result if you find the right friend. It's just that either way, it is exhausting and confusing knowing what is expected in friendships and struggling to do the reciprocal bit, it's too much pressure. And with 4, yes it is very hard to find people you click with.


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Tyri0n
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28 Mar 2013, 5:24 pm

When I was younger, from tween to 20's, I was definitely 4 all the way. Nearly 100%. I've found that as I've gotten older, I've developed into a strong 2. I think I am in a transition period of going to 3, primarily.

I think 4 is a fairly healthy place to be, and maybe I should go back there. I think 2 and 3 are natural twins.



onewithstrange
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29 Mar 2013, 12:48 am

I alternate between 1 and 3.



DJFester
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29 Mar 2013, 2:21 am

For a long time now, a combination of 1 and 4.


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yellowtamarin
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29 Mar 2013, 2:24 am

I'm a fairly solid 4.



gratin
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29 Mar 2013, 3:43 am

Not 1,

but the others to different degrees during my life

really good list

wheres it from / source?


thanks



jk1
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29 Mar 2013, 4:18 am

3 and 4



StuartN
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29 Mar 2013, 4:57 am

It really is a badly-designed question, isn't it? It seems so sensible on a first reading, but the difficulty answering it, and needing to combine the categories means that the question has not captured the issue of interest.

For me, when I was in a research lab was the time when I had good relationships with other people. We used to take fixed coffee breaks and have meaningful conversations about issues that were really interesting. Looking back, I can't remember some of those people's names or faces, but I wish I had the opportunity for those discussions.



OddDuckNash99
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29 Mar 2013, 1:16 pm

I'm mostly #4. I DO have a handful of very close, meaningful friendships, but it took years and years to find friends I connect with. I'm happy to have my close relationships, but I'm always happy by myself in my room with my cats.


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Chloe33
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01 Apr 2013, 4:34 am

3 & 4

At my age, 4 seems like a nice pipe dream, yet 3 is the most realistic for me.
I am actually in a 5 yr relationship with my nt gf and sometimes i feel i've isolated her.
She says i have not isolated her and we're just older and she desires no other friendships from humans.
She is more social than i, so i hope what she says is true as i wouldn't want to deprive her.

Sometimes i would like to make some friends who could be there as good friends/family would be. Yet i'm not very trusting of humans to begin with and it makes things complicated or i find out humans' true natures aren't good
(ie our neighbors/"friends") down the road who neglect their kids all they care about are themselves. I will go over their house to listen to the mother complain as i guess i feel she needs to vent to someone.
Yet moreso, the 2 year old is adorable and he loves me. I am always making sure to smile at him so he gets the mirror neurons. It is true about the still faced experiment. If i am not smiling he starts to look like he may cry.
Their older son is 9 and i'm pretty sure he'd get diagnosed aspergers. I'll toss a frisbee around with him or plate my flute (he has a recorder) and there is a Cherokee song i want to teach him (he has Cherokee in his background).



WrongWay
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01 Apr 2013, 6:53 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Quote:
1. You desperately want relationships and friendships and are lonely that you don't have them / have enough of them.

2. You don't really want them, but you think you are supposed to.

3. You sort of want them, but building relationships is exhausting, frustrating, and takes too much work for you, so it's not worth going through the flames for a meager result.

4. You like the idea in theory, but finding actual human beings who are suitable (around whom you feel comfortable, who aren't boring, exhausting, etc.) is daunting or impossible.


I realized I don't know whether I'm 1, 2, 3, or 4. I definitely have some of 4, but I don't know which of the other 3 describes me. I honestly don't...

Is it possible for someone to be 2, 3, and 4?


Overall I'm quite happy with my social life. Occasionally have a bit of 1 if I don't hang out with anyone for an extended period of time.


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01 Apr 2013, 2:56 pm

I feel that I am becoming a 2 because of 3; because relationships take a lot of energy and often lead in heartbreak, I am slowly becoming conditioned not to want them.