How do you feel when making eye contact?

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Ever see Superman with his laser eyes? Yea, that's what eye contact feels like to me.

Eye contact has always been a pain in the azz for me. Even when i was very young i'd freak out and get upset about relatives "staring" at me and start voicing my opinion agh, i can only imagine what they thought. I feel bad in a way, yet i couldn't help it. I've had eye contact issues for as long as i can remember.

The other day though, i went to the store and the clerk pissed me off and i did a laser eyes thing at her... if looks could kill...

I seem to be coming from the other end on this, not by nature, but by training and experience. While studying counseling I was taught and trained on observing people, on the rather established premise that about 85% of communication is nonverbal. So in conversation it is difficult for me not to look at someone's face, including eyes. I find it greatly aids me in more fully understanding where the other person is coming from, not just intellectually but emotionally.

That said, if the conversation becomes in some way confrontational and the other person attempts to bully me with a stare-down, I do usually avert the direct contact in order to prevent sensory overload. At such a point the conversation has probably devolved to where I am moments away from melting down into an angry emotional outburst. I aspire to excuse myself when I sense this coming on, though unfortunately too often I "freeze" then "fight" (verbally), even though "flight" would usually be the wiser choice.

Very recently though I have found how much less anxiety I experience throughout the day when I do allow myself to consciously avoid eye contact; so I am doing more of it. Rather than buying in to the notion that I should be more of a neurotypical extrovert and make lots of eye contact, I am enjoying allowing myself to just be me, and only make eye contact when it serves a good purpose. The anxiety-reducing effects of this new approach are, so far, one of the benefits I most enjoy about being newly diagnosed and having a better understanding of myself.

I don't make eye contact; I get by focusing on one's nasal bridge from afar. However, even when I do this I feel exhausted and emotionally overloaded. When someone gets too close to me and I accidentally make eye contact, I feel deeply uncomfortable and as if "I'm dying inside"

I don't like eye contact. It seems too intimate or too aggressive. It is more information than I want to deal with and it scares me. I make brief eye contact and then look away or look at another part of the face. Some people have eyes that are easier to look at than others but I don't know why.

When I left school I became incredibly aware of not wanting to make eye contact.

Then when I was about 19, I went on a company course that I think dealt with communication skills. During that course, it was mentioned that "for people who have problems looking into peoples eyes, start at the bridge of their nose. The other person won't know the difference".

That has stuck with me, and only became significant when a few weeks ago I became aware that my problems may be Aspie related.

Interesting that others use the same method when trying to maintain eye contact.

For me, I can do the eye contact thing when I'm at ease. As soon as the conversation starts getting tricky for me (too intense, or I am having a hard time trying to put my thoughts into adequate sentences), I start finding it harder. I can suddenly be very aware that I SHOULD be making eye contact (or bridge of nose contact ), and that can throw me off my conversational stride even more, and bring about more stuttering and inability to remember the exact word I need.

Someone making eye contact with me makes me feel like they know something about me that I don't want them to know. I feel hugely exposed and vulnerable when making eye contact.

When someone I know is talking to me I do it in fleeting glances while also looking around at other things, often downwards. For some reason I find it harder when it is me doing the talking, though maybe that is a multitasking thing. When someone is talking to me I can concentrate more on feeling comfortable where my gaze is (then I struggle to listen!), when I talk I get all mixed up as I panic over where my eyes are and can't concentrate on what I am saying

I feel like there is something sort of collapses in my stomach before churning around in there. I easily start sweating. I have trouble concentrating on what people are saying. I am unable to reply as long as there is eye contact. I feel disoriented.

I have never had that feeling of people invading me nor have I tried to interpret them, like so many aspies seem to feel. Interpreting is the last thing on my mind.

For me, eye contact triggers a fight or flight response.

Congratulations! You've read my feelings! I also feel like they're expecting me to do something awesome. Sometimes making eye contact makes me think that they're gonna do a surprising attack.

My reaction is the same as most here. Feeling exposed, stressed and threatened; difficulty carrying on a conversation; melting away. If there is one symptom that all people on the spectrum seem to share it is this sort of response to eye contact.

I have a theory that NTs instinctively wear a sort social mask, that they can unconsciously stand back from their personae in social interactions. They don't feel exposed because they feel eye contact as being their 'avatar' interacting with the other person's 'avatar'. Something that we can only try to learn to do, but entirely natural for them.

I have brown eyes, but almost everyone significant around me through my entire life has had blue eyes. Over the past few years I have discovered that I find it much easier to look into dark brown eyes than blue. Pleasant even. Perhaps I should think about moving to Spain or Italy.

On a topical note, the most paralysing eye contact I ever had was from (blue-eyed) Margaret Thatcher, with whom I once locked eyes across a room. It was only for a split second but it was like having a laser beam shot into my brain. She was notorious for her 'death-ray stare'. If she had brown eyes (or even a squint), history might have been different...

Nervous!

When i´m forcing myself into eye contact, it´s always like - I should look him/her in the eyes, its so awkward, is it enough?, is this really comfortable for NT´s?, I can´t stare him/her in the eyes the whole time, away I need to look away

I try to force myself look at someone, but most of the time, I can't bring myself to do it because every time I do, my brain has this jolt (not electric) and I have to look away. The only bearable person I can make eye contact to and not look away is my ex-girlfriend. We're still friends and I still see her on campus so we sit with each other in class occasionally.

My parents would always try to make eye contact, but I would always look away or run away or both. I still find it depressing that I'm 25 and I still run away if someone makes eye contact to me.

Not if they're looked at too long! I was once stopped by a girl from Greenpeace who tried to get me to join. Usually I can't stand blue eyes but she had a shade of blue I'd never seen before, a very clear color and I couldn't stop looking. My fascination overrode my natural fight or flight response and I kept looking at her eyes while she tried to get me to join. At first she looked back but soon she looked to the side of me and away! In retrospect, knowing what I know now, I find that memory very enjoyable!

I feel nothing.
I don't make eye-contact just because I don't have the natural instinct to do so.

makes me feel anxious and it makes me feel like hitting or screaming, i dont make eye contact at all, i can force myself but when i do i get tics and twitches. its not natural at all