So much anger!

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The anger is a sign that those with ASD are essentially normal people. This definition and demonization of "the other" is a very normal, very TYPICAL human behavior. Every group does it. If a group is defined specifically by a dominant "other" in terms of "not like the social dominant group" and then specifically attacked/denigrated for this difference, the counter-demonization is even more pronounced.

There is a lot of bashing here.

-Gender related bashing.
-Religious bashing
-Political bashing
-Racial bashing
-LGBT bashing
-Neurotypical bashing.

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.
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As nessa pointed out quite a lot of people use this forum as a place to vent and we try to allow members to do mild complaints regarding just about any group(we have had threads venting about the people that take care of this website going as far as 12 pages where some people did forget their manners for example and we didn´t do anything serious about it).
If we limited this place to happy posts/pc posts most of you wouldnt be here because the place would be 1/10th as active or less and this means less resourves, less people offering their input...

Yay! So on with the bashing!

Let's build a bonfire!

(that was a joke btw)

Looks like someone overlooked mild.
So just make sure no fire alarms go off k?

One of my main problems is with anger . I don't get it at all.

At times when I should be angry I just get sad .

I wish I could get angry over all the crap I have got over the years.

Even when My step dad tried to kill me by bashing the side of my head in with a brick I still couldn't be pissed of at him .

The logic just get's in the way for me . Thoughts of the posable reasons for these peoples anger towards me just flood my brain.
(childhood trama , things going on at home, ect. ect ) People have to vent there anger ,It's just a shame that I allways seem to have been the target of that anger .

If you don't get angry all that seems to be left is a deep sadness to replace that hole.

By 'kow towing' i meant learning to do small talk,and learning social niceties for job interviews and to get dates, and the like, as opposed to expecting the world cater to our geekiness.

If you dont like that strategy, then fine. Just find another planet to live on.

I already do all that - I can get jobs and dates and do social niceties - being able to do small talk etc does not guarantee that NTs will treat me with respect though. 'Playing the game' is no guarantee of anything. Why are you insisting on making it my problem when as far as I'm concerned the problem lies fairly and squarely with the people who refuse to show me respect?

I've just about had enough of it being seen as my problem when it clearly is not.

it's nothing to do with a person's 'geekiness', it's a problem with basic respect.

Kowtowing is a sign of submission. Applying social niceties is like trying to speak the local language. I don't expect people to show me respect or cater to me outside of an acknowledgement of basic human dignity, but that goes both ways. I get by.

I expect people to treat me with the respect I show to others - I can see this is highly unrealistic as most people seem to not have as high standards of behaviour as myself or as high expectations of others. This does not put me in the wrong though; it just means my standards of behaviour and expectations are higher than average. If the majority want to behave badly and call it 'the norm', let them - I won't be joining them.

I understand the reason for the anger (and have struggled with some of my own), I'm just questioning the helpfulness of the "Us versus Them" mentality.

I am not directly angry at NTs simply for being NT. What makes me angry is ANYONE simply expecting that I should think, act, behave, and believe exactly as they. NTs often fall into this category because most that I have encountered are judgemental, narrow-minded, and have the "I am right, you are wrong and weird" attitude.

I have no patience or respect for people (NT or Aspie) Who expect their way to be the only option, no further discussion, any deviation of that is wrong. I have spent a good portion of my life being told I wasn't good enough or that I was wrong no matter what, and have finally adopted this attitude: That's your opinion. Mine is that you are an ass. So anger, yes. But Not because anyone is NT. Because they feel that they are qualified to judge me in any way.

This makes sense to me. Thank you for the thoughtful response.

It is actually harmful in the short or long run because that particular dichotomy is way off base, and the encapsulated thinking behind it is causing all kinds of suffering, not meaning for so called 'nt's' but for the aspies who are thinking in such a simplistic manner and encouraging others to do..

In terms of people venting anger on line---it could be helpful or not, but this is not what I am talking about at all but rather the naivete and ignorance behind making this particular dichotomy, but not all dichotomies.

Last edited by littlebee on 01 May 2013, 1:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I see that division as a process. That separation is a way to identify and digest what the differences are that are unique to being on the spectrum. Once people have a solid handling on those issues, they can branch out into a different/wider mindset. A drawing in and circling the wagons temporarily to explore what is pertinent to this select group. It's not permanent, and it's not a matter of ignorance as much as learning.

I see it very differently and see some kind of magical thinking in your assessment.. Yes I agree that making a differentiation is a process, and I have been through it myself in terms of being autistic, but I see many people here and in other aspie venues in which I have participated getting stuck at that juncture, and I see a tendency for the aspie culture, not everyone, but a general tendency to amplify and encourage people to think in that kind of direction or should I say box.. Wrong thinking is a form of ignorance, and it can be permanent in that people live their whole lives thinking wrongly based on many false premises and then die that way, never unlearning it. This is why inquiry is essential, so please do not discourage it by trying to protect the feelings of people who are generally quite smart and capable of protecting their own feelings. Enabling does not help people to develop and is really a form of dysfunction which will not lead to human growth or happiness. There is a subtle tone to your message that I am scapegoating aspies and being insensitive, or maybe I am over interpreting. In any case, it is necessary for there to be contrast, such as the perceived differences between aspies and so-called nt's, but I would not encourage such black and white thinking, as I am very skeptical if such encouragement will lead to much learning. Inquiry will, though, and I guess that is what we are doing:-)

(snip rest of my previous message).

I am assuming you and others understand what I meant when I referred to what I see as magical thinking in your message, but just in case you do not-----there is no evidence at all that I know of which supports your premise that people will grow out of using this kind of simplistic black and white dichotomy to buffer emotional pain, make all kinds of simplistic justifications and vent rage, and I have no idea where you got this idea from, so I assume you just made it up. Actually it is easy to observe by looking at both oneself and others that once various conclusions are formed, this automatically, or, better put, mechanically, plays into the habitual way of processing data and reinforces it, and this is especially likely to occur if others around oneself tend to reinforce a certain kind of thinking and this way of group think becomes connected to the bonding process which people so crave.

As far as the rudeness of referring to so-called nt's as this or that, personally I do not have a problem with that kind of language per se, as adults should be able to handle it, but the condoning and supporting of this kind of very simplistic thinking behind making this particular dichotomy and even touting it as helpful to suffering people is why I have responded to this thread.

I suppose another idea in your message which verges on magical thinking is that ignorance about reality will automatically undue itself. That makes no sense. I see you just pretending it is a form of learning.

I do understand a genuine caring and altruistic motivation is behind your response, and I do appreciate that and also the eloquent way you express yourself. Actually, it just now occurs to me that another form of magical thinking is to assume that such a good feeling and love for ones brother will automatically translate into the mind being intelligent. And no, I am not saying that you are not intelligent, but that all of us can become more intelligent, and this is the function of learning.

This is not meant to be taken personally.. It is just inquiry, and I, too, am approaching out of an altruistic motivation..