Introvert vs. Extrovert. Which one are you?

Post Reply New Topic

I suspect that all this terminology, very common in Internet, of "introverts refuel/recharge being alone, and extroverts refuel/recharge being with others" is largely a way of saying "introverts like to be alone, and extroverts like to be with others", but avoiding the "anti-social" connotations of "like to be alone".

I'm somewhat of a mild introvert that's been forced into the heavily introverted area by my autistic qualities. I feel comfortable alone and with a select few people but still get very lonely faster than my introverted NT friends.

I would at hand say I am more introverted than most people, but its not just through acts of melancholy hardship that's made me this way, I think in truth the environment plays its fair share of usage in portioning out a lot of traffic induced carnage that is hard to bear. what I mean is I am sick of some of the things that limit ones only ability to see sense through a sign that says keep out of here there lives a dog or something like that, you're thinking this is the country there s got to be loads of ways to get to where I want without some idiot throwing up a sign that says keep out of here, or beware of the dog. I hate dogs now. nothing personal I just do.

Introverted. I can be outgoing around certain people/groups, which is considered more of an extroverted trait. But at the end of the day, I just want to be alone and self reflect.

INTJ

The 'I' means introverted. So I guess i'm an introvert.

100% introverted-only because I have social problems

I suspect that I find being alone to be relaxing, non-stressful, and restful, and that this allows me to recover from the stresses of being around people, among other things.

I suspect that this can also be described as "refueling" or "recharging."

I am certain that I do not care about the so-called "anti-social connotations of like to be alone" because I have said several times on this forum that I do not feel loneliness or any need to be around people, and that I am not entirely sure what it means to emotionally connect with another person.

Ambivert , more on the introverted side nowadays. I need time to recharge alone and I do get exhausted after socializing too much. Sometimes I get agitated if I'm around people for too long. The thing is I'm loud when I am with a friend or with family. I interrupt and talk TOO much and about personal things (I'm not a private person). Also, I put up my hand and answer TOO many questions during class. As a kid I would go up to strangers and ask them questions. For a while I was obsessed with ages and until my mum forced me to stop I would go around asking everyone how old they were. Also I would go up to kids I didn't know and ask if they'd be my friend and come over to my house. They always said no of course. I would recite the class list of rules loudly and tell kids that they couldn't do X because it was against the rules ect. So, I was a loud, active kid. I think my bad experiences being bullied and rejected by others over the years caused me to be more introverted and avoid social contact as an adult.

I can relate to this...in grade 4 or so was obsessed with the rules and hated when kids broke them. When meeting new kids at parks, playgrounds, etc. I asked for their names and ages...but that was it. I just wanted the data on them. I wouldn't talk to them or play with them in any way. I also looked up and memorized the phone numbers of kids in my class.

To answer the question...I am a huge introvert who was extroverted as a young child...up until I was 9 or so when I realized that I was annoying other kids with my behavior and how different from them I really was. When I started being rejected by people, I developed social anxiety and started to avoid the other kids. It's why I'm an introvert. I realized that I have to be careful about choosing my friends, that friendship is about quality instead of quantity, and you have to really search for the people who understand you and like who you are.

Also, I know many extrovert Aspies. They seek out social opportunities whenever possible, even when they are rejected by others...or they choose to socialize using topics that they can personally relate to (such as groups involving a special interest) They are also more likely to identify with autism and to take a positive view of their diagnosis (at least judging from the ones I know).

Last edited by anneurysm on 05 May 2013, 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think I have developed social anxiety as an adult. Well, I have anxiety about lots of other things too actually. I also started avoiding other kids and became really quiet at school at 12 years of age (I was a little slower than you in realizing I was annoying people ).

I don't know a lot of people with ASD but I do know someone with ASD who is very extroverted and also identifies with ASD culture and has made it central to her life.

I know someone like this too I really think that most people on the spectrum should use their special interests to meet others that accept them. I particularly really admire extroverted people on the spectrum in that they are more likely to approach/interact with people in general, alerting the NTs they meet to the realities of what being AS is like (i.e. they see that they are awkward, have strong interests etc). I think that extroverts who are involved with the ASD community are particularly admirable in that they are not afraid to state their opinions on things (something I struggle to do as an introvert because I don't want people rejecting me...rejection is very painful for me), and seem to band together with other people with ASD on a quest for awareness and acceptance...which is always a good thing.

I agree and I also admire extroverts and their ability to socialize fearlessly. In particular I admire those extroverted aspies who do a lot for our community. Connecting with other ASD people through my main special interest is hard for me. The interest is reading fantasy series and my imaginary worlds based on these novels. I know that's a common interest for girls in general, including aspies. To connect with people about this they would have to read the exact same series as me though(I tend to read older ones , not ones that are popular at the time). I can't bring myself to read their series just to connect. Also these same girls seem to be obsessed with fantasy t.v. shows and anime and comic cons and I have no interest in those things at all. When I decided to accept my ASD diagnosis and learn more about my disorder and became a little obsessed with autsim and WP as well , I did connect with one other girl through this interest in autism.
Often I do express my opinions which tend to be unpopular among my peers and get ganged up against (in class for instance). This is often just because I don't think think through the fact that X opinion will be unpopular with Y group or person fast enough to use this information in conversations. In some situations where I'm particularly uncomfortable I'll just sit and be completely quiet though.

I'm introverted. Even around people I know really well. I prefer being alone with my thoughts. BUT at same time, I like having people around, even if I am not really socialising with them (if that makes sense). I do like to be alone if there is too much going on though.

I'm extroverted when I'm around people that I trust. When I'm around the few people that I don't trust, I'm more likely to be introverted. I'm more of an extrovert around my friends and acquaintances than I am around my family. I'm an extrovert most of the time.

In terms of how specific and restricted your interests are, you remind me of a girl I mentor, only she is extroverted and not introverted. She has AS and has very intense, highly specific interests and doesn`t seem to care what other people her age like to talk about. She feels the most secure, happy and comfortable talking about her interests, so when we are together, I encourage her to talk about these interests with me, to be herself and to totally let go around me. However, she will often talk about these intense, specific topics to anyone she knows, and doesn't have a good sense of what to talk about in a conversation with others (i.e. you don't recite lines from tv shows with people your age).

I have introduced her to the AS community to allow her to find people who understand her quirks more, but she isn't as enthusiastic as I would`ve liked her to be. I think it's because like you, her interests are so specific that it's hard for her to learn about and explore other subjects (in this case, ASD). She is extroverted in that she openly seeks social contact (with specific people who don`t like her as much as she likes them) She gets bullied, isolated, and rejected a lot because she tends to have interests and points of view that are understandable coming from a 16 year old, but not a 22 year old...and she understands this somewhat but even when suggested, does not adjust her very specific interests towards things that people in X group of people would accept. Another difference between you and her is that she doesn't understand when people reject her, whereas you seem to have recognized that not everyone is going to like your interests, so you feel uncomfortable talking with others who don't share them. I think that introverted people on the spectrum are more cautious socially and may become more anxious in social situations in general.

I don't think that ASD has something to do with being an extrovert or an introvert. Many on the ASD spectrum just behave/become introverts because they are very easily overloaded by too much noise or other senses and have trouble comunicating with other people.