Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Shyness...what's the reason behind it?

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Sylvastor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 781
Location: Germany

10 May 2013, 9:43 pm

To me it's either disinterest or because I don't know how to engage in a conversation or other social stuff, that's when I'm "shy". I prefer my thoughts in such cases as that is just the easier and (in my opinion) more comfortable solution/alternative - it is a lot less exhausting. :)


_________________
Diagnosed with Aspergers.
BSP-errors are awesome.


oceandrop
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 398

10 May 2013, 11:00 pm

SG78 wrote:
oceandrop wrote:
I never experienced shyness or embarrassment until age 17.

It's actually more usual for Aspie's to be less self-conscious / shy in childhood due to theory of mind deficit.

I'm more shy now as an adult because my ToM improved a lot and I'm more aware of how awkward I am :lol:


My shyness/embarassment really started at age 12. I was that "annoying" kid in elementary school who was always saying off-the-wall things, calling my teachers by their first name (because the teacher's name plate on her desk did have both first and last name), stating unusual facts, that kind of thing. Age 12, starting middle school, that's when I became more reserved, more withdrawn, more shy, more cautious. Must have been my ToM kicking in (I was just reading about that in Tony Attwood's book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome).


Yes sounds a lot like me. Also it's the same book which mentions that Aspie kids show fewer signs of embarrassment and shyness.



Einfari
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 555

10 May 2013, 11:15 pm

My shyness mostly came from being unsure how to act in social situations and the fear of humiliating myself. When I was in preschool, I would always talk about the worlds and characters I made up. I also talked about random interests. When I realized that no one really cared about what I was talking about, I just became very withdrawn because I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing. I would always agree with everything other kids said because I always assumed that my opinion was wrong, due to my poor social skills. I wasn't comfortable debating anything until I was 15-16 years old. I wasn't even comfortable approaching people until about a year or two ago. Some of my social fears from my childhood still exist because I find it weird when people want to work with or hang out with me. That never happened when I was younger because I was always the kid who could never find a partner in school activities..



SG78
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 155

11 May 2013, 5:40 am

Einfari wrote:
My shyness mostly came from being unsure how to act in social situations and the fear of humiliating myself. When I was in preschool, I would always talk about the worlds and characters I made up. I also talked about random interests. When I realized that no one really cared about what I was talking about, I just became very withdrawn because I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing. I would always agree with everything other kids said because I always assumed that my opinion was wrong, due to my poor social skills. I wasn't comfortable debating anything until I was 15-16 years old. I wasn't even comfortable approaching people until about a year or two ago. Some of my social fears from my childhood still exist because I find it weird when people want to work with or hang out with me. That never happened when I was younger because I was always the kid who could never find a partner in school activities..


That's what happened to me. Other kids said I was too annoying and that I wasn't cool to hang out with, that's where I started to become withdrawn. I remember one kid telling me in sixth grade something along the lines of "you can't act like this in middle school." Didn't help I went from elementary school to middle school at the time and the culture clash that came with it. I still can't debate well, especially in person, still have a hard time approaching people. I too find it strange at first when someone finds interest in me, but once I determine their intentions are honest, I am more than receptive to their presence.



chlov
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 851
Location: My house

11 May 2013, 8:06 am

qawer wrote:
As a kid I was naturally quite shy. More so than most other kids. It seems like this has a connection to Aspergers.

But what is the reason behind the shyness in the earliest years?

Is it due to being intuitively aware of your lacking social skills? But then again, you likely wasn't too aware of this as a kid? Perhaps as a result of a constant 'sensory overload' from the world around you?


Or rather just due to anxiety? In that case, what is the cause of the anxiety... Social issues?

I'm not shy at all, and I've never been.
Maybe introverted, but not shy.

I don't have social anxiety.
I lack social skills, but I don't fear social failure, therefore I have no reason to be anxious of social interaction.
I only act as my instinct tells me to.