The look on your face or body language

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Nymeria8
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28 Jun 2013, 5:01 pm

I get bitchy, intimidating, angry, sad, cold, distant...the list goes on and is more often than not inaccurate. However, I do find that it helps to weed out the people I don't want to talk to anyway. For example, if people take the time to get to know me or even listen to the actual words coming out of my mouth, they find none of those things to be true. But that requires that they not be selfish and self centered. Its not always about you. And those are the people I want contact with anyway.


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punkguy378
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28 Jun 2013, 5:31 pm

I think it varies based on the situation I am in.

I generally have variance in my tone of voice. Generally when talking, people can tell if I am angry, happy, excited, irritated because my voice changes and I have learned how to recognize when it does change although sometimes family and friends have to tell me.

Yes I have had people tell me to smile because I generally do not.

I generally do not stare at people. If I look at someone it is usually for short periods. Sometimes I am at a restaurant and I glance around to look at someone but sometimes I resist the urge since I believe they might think I am staring. So I look once and then I have to tell myself to stop and I usually do.

A lot of times I can look angry if I am trying to concentrate like while playing the guitar, or playing a game maybe even while reading. But sometimes I look angry because I actually am and I do not conceal it well. Or I might actually be irritated if I look angry. But honestly sometimes I do not realize my face looks like this. But I think it is actually more subtle than some aspies I would say.

Around family and people I am comfortable with, my eye contact is good when listening and a little worse when I am actually talking for some reason. It is harder for me to maintain eye contact while talking to someone. But honestly looking people in the eye is not that uncomfortable I found when I am talking to people I know. When I am upset it is harder though and I feel more uncomfortable. But if I am on a date with a woman I just met it is very hard for me to look them in the eye for some reason more so than family, friends, or my therapist.



punkguy378
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28 Jun 2013, 5:45 pm

Nymeria8 wrote:
I get bitchy, intimidating, angry, sad, cold, distant...the list goes on and is more often than not inaccurate. However, I do find that it helps to weed out the people I don't want to talk to anyway. For example, if people take the time to get to know me or even listen to the actual words coming out of my mouth, they find none of those things to be true. But that requires that they not be selfish and self centered. Its not always about you. And those are the people I want contact with anyway.


I agree with you on this. Once people get to know me they start to understand this. But not always. Like you said if they actually listen to the words when I talk they sometimes come up and talk to me. I found that people in AA (only some) are much more understanding than people in the everyday world. People that are very conservative, close-minded, or more social seem to have more of a problem with me than people that are liberal, open-minded, or less social. Most of my friends in high school were the latter so that makes sense. I never got a long with the popular, trendy, close-minded students. I noticed that the bullies were generally people who were not popular. The popular kids usually just ignored me although not always.

Honestly the reason I was so popular with the un-popular crowd was because I didn't take any crap from anyone. I was not really the one who sat in the corner or tried to act like no one was causing trouble. In fact, I was always getting thrown out of class to sit in the hallway or being told to got to the principals office or even getting suspended for one day. I mean I would tell off teachers!



BookPerson
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28 Jun 2013, 7:18 pm

People that don't know me often think that, from reading my expression and body language, I'm depressed, angry, bored, would rather be somewhere else, distant, stuck up, or similar things. People that know me just know that's how I look and not to read me by my face or body language. Rather, they know to "read" me by my words and what I say. Many people have told me, though, that my eyes are very intense and focus "like laser beams."



themrjason
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28 Jun 2013, 7:58 pm

I've been told that I always have an angry expression on face and I should try and smile but smiling feels super weird and uncomfortable. I get that my facial expressions and body langauge make me impossible to read or know what i'm feeling.



l0st0ne
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28 Jun 2013, 11:55 pm

hmm lets see i have an attitude was told by a complete raging b***h at the job center the other day, when i worked in retail constantly had customers saying cheer up, smile, people shouting back at me service with a smile, people looking back at me in disgust completely unapproachable, that I'm serious, people think that I'm a b***h i got quite a lot of complaints.



auntblabby
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29 Jun 2013, 1:24 am

the people that matter most to me, know that I am totally approachable.



Panddora
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29 Jun 2013, 1:43 pm

BookPerson wrote:
People that don't know me often think that, from reading my expression and body language, I'm depressed, angry, bored, would rather be somewhere else, distant, stuck up, or similar things."


This is me. I wish I knew why. Also, the older I get, the more invisible I become.



belladonna25
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29 Jun 2013, 4:38 pm

I get it all the time. I've been told I look miserable, angry, dazed, bitchy, and I got the " unapproachable" one too from bosses, which frustrates me a lot, because I try so hard at work and get nothing but complaints back :( I'm not working at the moment though, I find it very hard to abtain a job.