Gender double standard and Autism

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I will watch new shows occasionally, but I always go back to my favourites and watch them over and over again. Drives my husband crazy.

I got into a big JJ Abrams kick:

Fringe, then Lost, then Alias.

Going to catch up on Revolution when I can.

I prefer to stick to favorites, usually.

Doctor Who, Buffy, Charmed, and Big Bang Theory are my favourites. I like Criminal Minds, Bones, and Dexter as well.

There is a must watch tv thread currently going on about what one show you must watch.

Big Bang Theory isn't on Netflix (to my knowledge) or it'd be on my list.

Charmed definitely is on my to watch list, as is Bones. I still have a full season of Alias to go before moving on to the next series.

Doctor Who is one of my favorites. It's also a favorite for my nieces and nephew and great nephew (who has his own sonic screwdriver). I also enjoy Angel, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar: The Last Airbender and the sequel series Korra, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, the first season and a half of Heroes, The 4400 (sadly canceled), Alphas (sadly canceled - and it had an autistic character), Supernatural, Once Upon a Time, Lost, Fringe, and I think that's it right at the moment.

Kinda scary long compared to what it was a few years ago.

Ahh! Firefly! How could I forget Firefly! It goes on my favourites list.

I watched a couple of seasons of Alias, but I lost interest around the time she was held prisoner and the whole series jumped ahead. Same with Lost. I watched it religiously until about season 3. I like JJ Abrams, but I think his story lines are too convoluted sometimes (and I say that as a Doctor Who fan!). I do like Person of Interest, and I really liked Alcatraz. Was sad to see that got cancelled.

There are some non-fiction programs I will watch over and over as well. It started as a British program and was picked up by PBS. Manor House, 1900s House, 1940s House, Colonial House, and Frontier House. There are a couple of others done by different companies, but I haven't been able to track them down yet. I love history, and I have always wanted to go back in time and see how other people lived.

It kind of goes both ways. Being smart and quirky is possibly more acceptable for men.

Also, a lot of the perception of some women "having it easier" is simply due to the fact that society values women far more for their looks than what they have to offer. Which can work in favor of some women but against many others.

Who has it easier? I don't know. We all have different struggles. One thing I will say: women do have it easier as far as people being understanding of sensory issues. It's because society views this problem in men as a sign of "weakness" which is more socially acceptable for women to express. That's just one thing, though.

I do know an autistic girl who is dysfunctional, clearly weird, can't hold a job, and abrasive yet somehow still seems to have a lot more friends than me and a much easier time getting laid (not that I can't -- I just have to work harder at it than a similarly situated woman) and, in person, I am none of these things, just a bit shy. I am actually employable and don't tend to have interpersonal problems with those whom I interact with casually. Yet I still have multiple problems as a result of having mood disorders, depression, and anxiety that lurk just under the surface.

It's a bit frustrating and unfair. But then, isolation also seems to affect women far more severely from an emotional standpoint. So I don't know who has it harder. It's not the women's fault, regardless. I tend to direct my rage and resentment towards society, including the patriarchy who makes the rules, rather than women. But I totally understand the misogynistic view too. I just think it's misplaced. If I ever went on a killing spree or set off bombs, I'd be mostly after men, especially fraternity members and Wall Streeters, not women. Women aren't the c***s who make the rules.

In summary, women can be seen as the beneficiaries of unfair rules of society. But, ultimately, it's men who are making these rules. Women can sometimes be the passive beneficiaries, but it's actually the powerful men making the rules who are the ones to blame and f**k up (should I ever get that opportunity).

I also cry BS! And it's not productive or helpful if we Aspie adults waste time in gender wars and who suffers more contests! I am female. I was bullied terribly by kids and adults growing up. I was sexually molested and naive and it made me easily manipulated by men. And TV characters are fiction!! !! Not real. We are all individual and we have are own struggles. We should help and support each other. It's already bad enough that as autistic adults we are "invisible" in autistic statistics in the media and even a lot of autism charity. They only talk about autism effecting children! As if when a child with autism grows up, their autism disappears! And also that NT parents and NT autism professionals ignore us or tell us to shut up. Can we agree that we all have challenges and we all may have suffered?

I didn't find Lost convoluted at all. It seemed fairly straightforward. Where Lost was problematic (and why I waited until the series was complete before watching it) is that it dribbled so little information to the viewers over time. My perspective on this may differ since I watched the entire series in ~2 months.

With Alias it's similar. The third season was actually fairly strong, although it had a particular flaw in that the characters spent more time reacting to events and being outmaneuvered by the villains than they did getting tangible victories. The fourth season corrected that nicely.



I love history, although I get much of it from books and not so much from television.

I love to read history books as well. My minor in college was ancient languages, and I took ancient history and mythology along with it.

I might have to give Alias another chance. I think the library has all of the seasons.

If you didn't like it, no need to push it. It might be worth a second go, but I will be honest and admit I found the third season quite frustrating so don't feel obligated if you didn't enjoy it.

At least they did finally stop and give a run down on what happened to Sydney during those two years she was missing partway through the season.

I also may have stated my Lost point badly - I meant that because I watched it over a short period of time I didn't have time to speculate in depth on plot points before they were finally revealed. Like, I didn't have an entire season to ask "What the heck was thrashing the trees?" I got through the first season in about a week. I could not have stuck with it as a weekly show, though.

I watched it week by week for the first 2 seasons. Then I moved out of the country for a while. When I came back I rewatched the first 2 and then started the third but it just didn't grab me the way it had. Might have been the state of mind I was in at the time, too. That can really affect how much I like or dislike a movie/show/book/person.

The grass is always greener at the other side
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I have to say though Im happy to see people are having a discussion about this without attacking each other and so on, it is refreshing.

Well I could say that quiet, introverted men are seen as enigmatic, cool, deep, intellectual, professorial and a variety of other things. Your post irritates me immensely because you really are stereotyping ridiculously and making utterly false claims. Women could be said to struggle more than men, because they feel societal pressure way more than men to meet gender-based roles with regards to being good communicators. Who are supposedly the gossips and natterers of the world? Who is supposed to be better at small talk? How on earth can you base your opinion on what you see in some TV programme?! Even if women ridiculed an introverted man, women will b***h about an introverted woman and ostracise her - which is worse? And men can take advantage of an introverted woman so they have to add that to the list too.

Try doing some real research and you will find that what you say is entirely false. Autistic women are being failed by clinicians as they are often misdiagnosed or miss-diagnosed and therefore given incorrect (and sometimes damaging) treatments and suffering severe mental health issues through it. In fact, I will help you on your way with the research:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt224348.html (read this one especially for research evidence that states the opposite of what you are saying - females actually have it considerably worse).

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt225156.html

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt234308.html

My experience is that men are EXPECTED to be more outgoing and women are not.

Hence, shyness is more accepted among women than it is with men. Doesn't mean being shy works for the person who has it.

Here is the thing though:

"Your experience" as you call it is entirely subjective.

Plenty of people focus on looking for small details at their daily experiences to justify their: racism/misandry/misoginy/whatever and guess what? they will find them because they are actively looking for this things.

The same situation can happen to two people and it is extremely unlikely that both of them will interpret it the same way.



If you believe that others have it easier than you you will find plenty of examples to justify your cause.

If you believe everyone in the government is actually an alien trying to control us you will eventually find examples to justify your cause too.