Arms

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YES!! ! I believe that this is one of the most common issues with Asperger's or HFA. I have scars and bumps all over the backs of my hands, from 46 years of whacking door frames, scraping rough-surfaced walls, and ripping flesh on nails and other sharp protrusions on objects as I pass. I can't cross a parking lot without knocking someone's rear view mirror off-adjustment.

People tell me that I either walk like a robot, or flitter along; flailing my hands like a little girl. It's frustrating!! !! !! !!

Charles

Yes! I also forgot about the arm-swinging thing. I don't naturally swing my arms when I walk. My mother noticed this around the age of 14 or 15 and, essentially, made me swing my arms while walking (through annoyance and pestering if I didn't). I made it a habit to swing them when around her.

And yes, again, to what Charles said! I have had the same experience my whole life. At home, I'll often smack my hand on the doorway, furniture, or something similar, and my family jumps--thinking I'd hurt myself badly.

Too true.

More people should say "enough with this s**t. I'm not going to injure myself for the sake of appearances."

If I don't pay attention, I find myself carrying my arms kind of oddly- a friend called them "T Rex arms." Meaning they're sort of half-folded up against my chest with forearms protruding, if anyone can picture that. Either that, or I'll carry them stiff at my sides and away from my body. If I notice I'm doing these things I can correct it, but they're my defaults.

I never know what to do with my hands or arms, so I end up trying to find a position to keep them in when having to be around others. I'm constantly thinking how not to look suspicious, nervous, creepy, or whatever and it probably makes me look more like those things. If you put your hands in your pockets you look suspicious or like a pervert, if you cross them, you look angry or on guard about something, if you have them in that evil genius pose or rigidly at your side, you look like you spend your free time eating kittens. I can't win.

Last edited by Drehmaschine on 19 Jul 2013, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Though they never mention autism or aspies, there is an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is driven crazy by a woman at work who walks with her arms down at her sides (and does not swing them at all). The woman is played by Molly Shannon (from SNL). I thought this was a funny episode anyway, but after meeting my husband, I realized that there was something way more to it than just a regular joke.

My husband is right, he is accused of either walking too robotic (with his arms held in one position, tight against his sides), or too whimsically - swinging them in a carefree way, kind of like a little girl on a playground (more or less). And I now have a picture in my mind (from the one who shared about holding them like a T-Rex), how I've seen some others do this as well.

I, of course, think it brings character to a person to not do the same thing as everyone else. But I also know that I'm in the minority, sadly, when it comes to public situations or (heaven forbid) school playgrounds. It's a wonder any one of us makes it out alive, really! Differences can be the end of someone's self-esteem in those kind of situations. And even though I'm not an Aspie, I'm plenty "different" in my own ways, and I have been ridiculed my whole life for being so.

I say more power to the individual, the unique, the divergent ones among us!

Yes, as my wife says, I wish people would all just ignore how other people carry themselves, and be concerned only with real things such as character and manners, etc. in public. It should not bother other people if I walk funny (by their judgement), or if I don't appreciate or laugh at things when others do, etc.

Charles

I usually put my hands in my pockets when I'm walking around but when I'm not I'm fairly comfortable with arm swinging (a lot more than I used to be), but what really gets me is what to do with my arms when I'm standing around with people. I feel uncomfortable if I leave my arms by my side, but if I cross them I get worried people will think I'm angry, if I hold one arm across my body people will think I'm insecure, if I put my hands on my hips people will think I'm over confident. So I usually copy what other people are doing around me, but change the people I shadow because I get worried that people will notice me shadowing other people's body language.

I do this when I have to haul a heavy load, though I usually sling the bag over my shoulder. It's way more comfortable. I don't see why people make an issue over this stuff.



Colliding with doorframes or walls is a daily occurrence with me. *clunk!* I once almost took a thermostat off the wall because I was too close to it and slammed into it with my shoulder.

My hands are constantly in my hair. Or in my back pockets, which makes it really awkward when I wear slacks (no pockets) or dresses/skirts, because I look like I'm rubbing my butt. I end up announcing "I HAVE NO POCKETS!" Just in case someone saw.

I hate walking across parking lots. It just bothers me. So I stick my arms straight out and yell "I'm an airplane!" And run to my destination. Better to have people think I'm crazy than to have to stay in the parking lot.

I used to get so annoyed when I was young and some old person would tell me not to put my hands in my pockets. I could never understand what they found so offensive about it because they never bother to explain -- it just seemed to me that they were trying to make me uncomfortable.

Would they rather you had put your hands in their pockets?

(Um...actually...some might have )

its also a common trait of lower functioning autism to.
we tend to be doing things with our hands that arent acceptable by others as we lack the social and environmental awareness that our higher functioning bretheren/sisteren have,mine for example are usualy up nose picking away, being bitten [the hands that is,not snot ] ,flapping or punching/hitting head.
autists in general often lack understanding of where our body is in space,many of us do not know where our body stops and everywhere else begins.
the LD pysch of mine has suggested getting these special weights that are designed for people with autism, they strap around the wrists and ankles in the same area people wear bracelets/watches,it helps when am carrying heavy weights of some form in each hand and wearing the other sensory integration equipment have got,the wrist weights might come in useful for anyone here.

have had a google because the usual haunts of mine;ROMPA and TFH seem to have stopped selling them,theres an american company which sells one example,they are wrist weights but can be used on the ankles to if buy two sets- http://www.especialneeds.com/sensory-mo ... -sets.html

Since as long as I can remember correctly - since about the age of 12 or 13, I have struggled with not knowing what in hell to do with my arms. Everyone knows it's supposed to be anti-social and bad-body language to cross your arms, but that's the only thing I can really do with them, when I'm stressed.

I so relate with that T-Rex Arms feeling! Though I do wish my default was arms hanging at my side, rather than arms crossed. I even like crossing my arms while walking.

Ughh, yes, I never know what to do with the damn things.

This particular issue has become more pronounced as I've gotten older. It seemed, when I was younger, that I was almost oblivious to my own body or was pre-occupied with a stim so I didn't think about it, but as I became more aware/conscious of the body I was in (later teen years) I all of a sudden didn't know what to do with my arms, or how to position my self properly.


What's interesting, and something I only recently realized....a lot of the particular positions, stims, or gestures & hand twisting I find my self doing with my hands/arms to be "at ease" or to relieve tension are remarkably similar to mudras, and I was doing them before I heard about them or having knowledge of such things. (A mudra is a hand gesture...In yoga, mudras are used in conjunction with pranayama (yogic breathing exercises), to stimulate different parts of the body involved with breathing and to affect the flow of prana in the body. )


Like these





When I'm in a situation where I really don't know what to do with my arms/hands, I'll most often do this, I find it to calm the nerves a bit and "ground" me in the moment





Having pockets on sweaters usually gives me a place to occupy my hands with when it's cold, and a place to hold them in a certain mudra or way with out it being seen by others....but most often I really don't know what to do with them and have to find something to occupy my hands with, a stim of sorts, always fidgeting about.

I like having the option of pockets, but I don't seek them out. My mom does that. She's always looking for shirts and sweaters that have pockets.

Thank you for pointing out what those yogic poses are! How interesting. Looking at the photos, these do seem to be the yogic poses that would be possible with the hands. Hand yoga.....I love it. I am always cracking and wringing my wrists, massaging my fingers, and just feeling very obsessed with my hand-joints.

Another problem is that I suck at arm and hand gestures when I am especially anxious. When anxious, I become a bit immobilized. Reminds me of selective mutism. I get selective arm mobility. :/