How common is it for people with ASD's to be aromantic?

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Gazelle
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25 Jul 2013, 12:18 am

I like romance or being romantic, but it can be difficult when the person moves at a different speed than me. For example, comes on strong and hold hands the first date, etc.


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League_Girl
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25 Jul 2013, 1:05 am

I've been told I am not very loving or affectionate. I know I do relationships more like a friendship with sex of course and cuddling and lying down with my partner. To me it's no different than doing it with my parents minus the sex. I don't have sex with them, ew.


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OliveOilMom
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25 Jul 2013, 1:16 am

I'm a big fan of romance, but my idea of romance may not be anywhere near the same as someone else's. I've dated a guy who took me to traditionally romantic places, gave me gifts, said what I'm sure he meant as sweet romantic things to me, and to me it all came across cheesy. I did not tell him that though. I just told him we are better off friends, and we were. For some reason, even though in the movies I can recognize traditional romance as romantic, when it's done toward me it seems forced and cheesy. I tend to take less flowery statements and things that sound more true as romantic.

Like "When you aren't doing some kind of crazy s**t, I do want to be with you!" Because I recognize that I do that and it was honest. And he said he wanted to be with me. I totally get that.


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grahamguitarman
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25 Jul 2013, 3:55 am

Keni wrote:
I was completely baffled by this thread - I read it as aromatic :oops:

Me too, I was worried it would be a thread along the lines of 'do aspies smell different to NT's' LOL


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Max000
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25 Jul 2013, 4:14 am

Schizpergers wrote:
She said she felt like we were just friends who had sex.


My response to that would be, so whats wrong with that?



HopefulFlower
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25 Jul 2013, 4:15 am

Well my way of being romantic-and be aware I like to study other cultures and tradition and ancient ways and stuff-is being a traditional house wife. I like to make food for a picnic and stuff and be sweet. I once forgot spoons though :oops: And I'll always do whatever makes them happy even if it makes me uncomfortable. My exboyfriend loved wrapping his arm around me-I don't like that but I pretended it was fine because I didn't want to lose him... even though I ended up breaking up with him... And I like to go for walks, watch movies, go to the movies theater. I'd love for someone to take me to see a play of some sort like the Phantom of the Opera or a Disney thing they often do. So yea I can be romantic. And also just hanging out. But those are the basics of what I'm into when it comes to romance. I also like to party but I'm not very good at it-hoping to find someone who can help me with that.


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OliveOilMom
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25 Jul 2013, 4:24 am

HopefulFlower wrote:
Well my way of being romantic-and be aware I like to study other cultures and tradition and ancient ways and stuff-is being a traditional house wife. I like to make food for a picnic and stuff and be sweet. I once forgot spoons though :oops: And I'll always do whatever makes them happy even if it makes me uncomfortable. My exboyfriend loved wrapping his arm around me-I don't like that but I pretended it was fine because I didn't want to lose him... even though I ended up breaking up with him... And I like to go for walks, watch movies, go to the movies theater. I'd love for someone to take me to see a play of some sort like the Phantom of the Opera or a Disney thing they often do. So yea I can be romantic. And also just hanging out. But those are the basics of what I'm into when it comes to romance. I also like to party but I'm not very good at it-hoping to find someone who can help me with that.


Be very careful with letting somebody help you learn to party. You can get taken advantage of very easily that way. I've been around that scene a lot in my life (mainly before I had kids) and I've seen it done to NT girls, cynical girls, girls who knew all the rules and how to be safe and keep their stuff safe. I've heard of money being stolen, cars being driven and wrecked, people getting played into thinking you were a couple just for sex or to use you for money/drugs/booze/car/place to stay, etc. Yes, as you get older you may very well go to parties with friends and drink or whatever, but make sure you have a good friend with you so you can watch each others back. Don't trust anybody in that scene right off the bat. For real, I've been there and it's only been quick thinking and quicker reflexes that kept me from having stuff happen, and I've been taken advantage of in other ways as well, not as badly. So, be very careful about that.


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DudeWheresMyUFO
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02 Nov 2013, 10:51 am

Schizpergers wrote:
She said she felt like we were just friends who had sex. I honestly do not understand the difference. I do have a sex drive but feel unable to comprehend romantic love.


Schizpergers, you have summarized my exact thought patterns regarding the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing in a few succinct sentences!

I'm an aspie and definitely aromantic. I've never been in a romantic relationship simply due to general "meh." But I would still like an attractive female "ultra-best friend" with which to enjoy various adult things. Although as an aspie my social skills are so lacking and this subject sounds so strange to most people that I don't know how that will ever happen. :(



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02 Nov 2013, 12:16 pm

Keni wrote:
I was completely baffled by this thread - I read it as aromatic :oops:

I read it the same way, too.



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02 Nov 2013, 1:04 pm

I am aromantic and asexual. I've never felt love. I don't want children so there is no point in me having sex.


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Callista
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02 Nov 2013, 1:16 pm

I am asexual, but I feel love quite intensely. Not romantic love, but friendship, companionship. I don't think of friendship as secondary to romantic love; I think it can be just as important and as intense.


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micfranklin
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02 Nov 2013, 6:08 pm

This was a serious problem with me and my girlfriend. Her complaints were that I'm not "romantic" or "affectionate" enough, meaning I don't kiss her passionately or touch her (meaning hugs or embraces) or that I don't wanna do foreplay before sex or even compliment her new Facebook pictures. I touch her every time we're together and sometimes grab her behind just for fun in private, so that's untrue. Foreplay, well I don't know what that entails and we never had a discussion on it. I compliment her pictures and her appearances, hell she complained that I didn't "Like" a picture on Facebook that she had taken several months before on the day I was visiting her and even ogled over that same picture in real life.

I admit to never passionately kissing her, but then I never got the hint that she wanted one.



Bodyles
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02 Nov 2013, 11:06 pm

Noetic wrote:
I thought that said "aromatic"! :lol:


Me too!

I'm like "Well, I don't shower every day, so...."

:lol: :oops:



Codyrules37
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03 Nov 2013, 8:12 am

your like the typical guy. you like having sex without necessarily feeling any emotional connection to the women.



naturalplastic
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03 Nov 2013, 9:09 am

All of us aspies give off wonderful fragrance!

I think that we should bottle it, and sell it.

Call it...

"Geek".

No, no, no...

Call it..

"Savant"

by Feberge.



neobluex
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03 Nov 2013, 9:42 am

I don't understand sexual love (I'm asexual).
I can't form close relationships and I dislike intimacy. Though I'd like to breed someday.
I'm immunized against typical love :P.