You mean that's not normal?

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Oh my goodness.


I was in physical pain at the hopital bcause they wouldnt let me have my phone. Nothing is engaging enough for me. I've even come to understand that my severe headaches (which forced me to leave and college and began this journey of health discovery) can happen when thinking becomes to basic. I sound like I'm being hoity-toity, but it's hard to talk at basic levels. As my doctor said, "Not everything has to be deep and philosophical. This is how normal people talk".


My mom and sister walks into my room often and tell me "why don't you turn on a lifght?". I've always attributed it to age, but whenever people said they need to turn on a light, I'm like confused. I, too, remember locations. When I go from the lighted house to my dark, room-darkened curtain room, I automatically can locate my lamp (a tiny candle warmer as my overhead is broken).

I get made when people call me talented. I'm like, "No, you just pick up your tools and start." There's a precious structure, dare I say science, to art, but people don't grasp it. Now, if asked to draw from my mind, or something I haven't studief, I can't. For one, I don't have a visual imagination, and two, I am unable to improvise. People laugh when I say I'mnot creative, that there's just clear cut steps to drawing, but it's true. Through my rigid need of rules and directions, I've come to figure how to appear creative (don't get me started on patterns of writing and formulas to make good stories), but nobody is able to grasp that it's steps.

My favorite thing to say is that my thinking is twice removed. Once removed is when people are self-aware. Twice removed is being concious of the overall rules and patterns.


I felt so embarrased to say I might be aspie. I was one of the people who was 'bi', when everyone seemed to want to be, but in the end I was and am lesbian, it just took me years to grasp the possibility of not liking the opposite gender. I knew about gay, but it didnt sink in for a while.

But my mom was adamant to not believe me. To sum that beast up, my parents are abusive.

So, anyway, I.. I thought.. I was just unconciously seeking attention. That I couldn't possibly be a part of two of the strange fads. But the more I learn.. I can't.. I mean. It's legit. These small things beyond what the DSM says are just way too eerily familiar. I never realized these weren't typical.

Its truly blowing my mind.

I've developed a rather involved stimm. To be honest it's not simply a nervous habbit but more of an involved trance. When I was younger I use to spend hours upon upon stimming away, essentially in the bulk of my free time. However as I've aged it's decreased to at most an hour a day habbit, and even than only if I can handle the pain caused by it.(I got a repetitive strain injury from it).

That could have been a video of my autistic son! He does exactly that

Its very common for those on the spectrum to be bi or homosexual, and in many cases to be asexual! I kinda lean both ways but prefer the opposite sex more. However I think I could easily live without sex!

I get what you a saying about art. I teach art, especially portraiture, and although some talent is required, there are indeed easily learned rules. If you know how to measure and understand the relationships between parts of the face, you can paint anyones portrait!

I'm currently teaching mature students, but in the near future I'm going to be teaching an autistic group of adults. And I'm really looking forward to it purely because I suspect they will be better at understanding the rules and underlying geometry!

There is a beauty to the worlds underlying geometry that many NT's seem to struggle to comprehend.