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Asperger Syndrome in males perceived as feminine and gayish

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Fnord
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30 Jul 2013, 2:52 pm

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
I think it's that "standard male behavior" is partly a social act (as in exaggerating/faking), and I think ASD people are less likely to pick up on that kind of thing. IME, it does seem that if you're not constantly saying "I'd tap that ass!" and the like (especially when you're in your 20's) then you're seen as having something wrong with you and/or that you're probably gay.

Agreed.

If a man isn't interested in sports/hunting/fighting, doesn't like loud parties, isn't into rock bands, doesn't like getting dirty/sweaty/bloody, and seems to have no "luck with the ladies", then it is assumed by many that the man is "not really a man" - that he is gay, and just won't admit it.



qawer
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30 Jul 2013, 4:09 pm

Fnord wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
I think it's that "standard male behavior" is partly a social act (as in exaggerating/faking), and I think ASD people are less likely to pick up on that kind of thing. IME, it does seem that if you're not constantly saying "I'd tap that ass!" and the like (especially when you're in your 20's) then you're seen as having something wrong with you and/or that you're probably gay.

Agreed.

If a man isn't interested in sports/hunting/fighting, doesn't like loud parties, isn't into rock bands, doesn't like getting dirty/sweaty/bloody, and seems to have no "luck with the ladies", then it is assumed by many that the man is "not really a man" - that he is gay, and just won't admit it.


I think you are right.

And I think many Asperger men are exactly as you described here.

I have experienced that the more confident/cocky I act the more are the ladies interested and the more do people think of me as a man. Not everyone would like to admit it, but people start to like you when you yourself are convinced that you are better than everyone else. I see this is because faith moves mountains.



cberg
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30 Jul 2013, 6:11 pm

I have lots of both sets of traits. For one thing, I'm all skin & bones with spindly fingers, but my voice has always been something of a low tenor (not that I can sing worth beans). I'm pretty nice to everybody and somewhat reflexively protective of girls. At one point I thought I might be bi, but I have a good friend who is, and he's definitely best kept at arm's length in my sanity's interest. My face could be construed as kind of boyish, but a cursory look at my eyes could even tell most aspies that I've seen a lot of crazy sh*t in my time. I love the female form, and where I see it come through in design, I gravitate. Biology as a whole is beautiful to me, but it also defined my orientation. The overall impression I give is one of asexuality, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm straight but not narrow.


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Callista
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31 Jul 2013, 12:15 am

Fnord wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
I think it's that "standard male behavior" is partly a social act (as in exaggerating/faking), and I think ASD people are less likely to pick up on that kind of thing. IME, it does seem that if you're not constantly saying "I'd tap that ass!" and the like (especially when you're in your 20's) then you're seen as having something wrong with you and/or that you're probably gay.

Agreed.

If a man isn't interested in sports/hunting/fighting, doesn't like loud parties, isn't into rock bands, doesn't like getting dirty/sweaty/bloody, and seems to have no "luck with the ladies", then it is assumed by many that the man is "not really a man" - that he is gay, and just won't admit it.
Which is even weirder, because why would gay guys be "less male" somehow? You'd think that when it's two guys rather than a guy and a girl, it's even more masculine. :roll:


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31 Jul 2013, 12:27 am

Don't worry, if you talk about hunting and similar "too much" (and you have AS), you'll then be seen as a bloodthirsty barbarian.

The moral of that story is that people love disparaging others to make themselves feel better, because they have an inferiority complex and all that.