residential care? able to life independantly? need help

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Would it be any better if you could meet support workers beforehand to get to know them before they come into your space?

Is there any chance that your partner could help you to slowly adjust to new people and a new place, rather than having it happen all at one -- and would that help?

What about seeing if you can get a live-in or aide. Again it is normally for the elderly but I think anyone who needs one can apply

Is the apartment yours and are you keeping it? I'm assuming it has two bedrooms because you said you don't have a physical relationship with your bf. If that's the case then have you thought about renting the other bedroom to someone in exchange for helping you? Maybe a student in a field where they would be learning about autism in school? Of course you would have to have them checked out real well, but that could be done. That way, if you let them stay in the other bedroom in exchange for helping you they are not in charge of you, you are actually in charge of them because you are their landlord.

Since you have abuse-related issues, you might also want to look into what options are available for survivors of childhood abuse. I know in my hometown, they used to have a place for female sexual abuse survivors where they could live in a shelter for several months while working on healing. Sadly, the center closed down due to lack of funding, but there might be something similar in your area. Be sure to make it clear that you are dealing with childhood abuse rather than current spousal abuse, because those are generally served by different organizations.

Also, is there a YWCA in your area? They often provide housing support.