I Dislike the term 'ret*d'...

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I cannot express how thoroughly this does not surprise me about you.





I'm going to quote KingdomOfRats as I think she put it the best I've seen it:



From this thread: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt235665.html

Wow..

THAT POST MADE NO SENSE TO ME.

O_O;;;

I don't get offended when people call me "ret*d".

Originally the term "ret*d" meant "slow", not "mentally challenged".

I actually am slow, so when people say I am "ret*d" they're kind of pointing out a fact.

there's an even worse word that I totally despise "Spastic" its an ugly vile word that I was called at school and when I went to the special school the kids in the schools near us used to chant spacca school at us when we went past, to this day I hate that word.

I think it's all about the attitude behind the words, and not the words themselves. "ret*d" is a perfectly good word when it's a verb to describe making a mechanical adjustment, or other uses. When used as a noun; intended to hurt someone's feelings, of course it's not a nice things to say.

I am an illegitimate child, but I'm not bothered at all by the word "bastard", and in fact I use it to describe mal-engineered repairs, or things with wrong or non-original parts: "That classic car would be a good buy, except for the fact that it was bastardized by putting the wrong type of engine in it". On the other hand, if someone uses that word to insult me or to insult my mother for not being married to my father, it's received as an offense.

Charles

Honestly the word doesn't bother me. We say stupid or weak or idiot or moron and none of those words bother people in a way the term ret*d does or ret*d.

I used to say it all the time as a phrase and seemed to have grown out of it. I just say it's dumb now or stupid but I am still insulting the mute and the unintelligent.

If we called someone that word, then it's another story.

I get really annoyed when people use "ret*d" and "gay" in the wrong context too.


I also get really annoyed when people use OCD, ADD, and ADHD in the wrong context too.

I don't like it, either. It's not really that somebody's calling someone "ret*d"; it's that it's being used as an insult.

For example, non-insulting (but somewhat out of date) would be, "That ret*d high-schooler will need some special education to learn how to shop and cook for herself." It's a factual use of the word. It would not annoy me. At the very, very worst it would mean that the person saying it didn't know that "ret*d" is no longer widely used as a term for intellectual disability.

If somebody called me ret*d in that sense, I wouldn't be offended. That is just a case of mistaken identity. Autism can look like MR even when the autistic person in question is an academically talented college senior.

But if somebody said, "What are you, ret*d?" in response to my inability to get a joke, for example, that would be an insult, because it implies, "I think you're so dense that I'm pretending I think you have an intellectual disability, because a normal person would never make that mistake." It clearly puts people with ID on a level below other people.

"Gay" is a very good example of a word that has both legitimate and insulting uses. "My friend Michael is gay," versus, "You like to knit? That's so gay!". I think of "ret*d" the same way, but thankfully there are newer terms for ID now, so nobody actually has to use "ret*d" and risk people thinking that they are trying to insult people.

Notice how you referred to yourself as "queer" rather than "gay". You have put emotional space between what you call yourself and a term you use as an insult. Yet the original chain of meaning still exists. "gay" gets used as a generic insult to mean "something I dislike and that has no redeemable qualities". It is a very short leap to calling YOU "something I dislike and that has no redeemable qualities". That's how it became an insult in the first place, which you know as shown by your next sentences. Trying to outrun the insult by using "queer" to refer to yourself is a losing battle. The original chain of meaning is still in place. And in fact "gay" is still in common use in its' non-insult connotation too.


After many decades of insult-only use and a new word in ubiquitous use for the original word, that is true. But what has to happen is for the language to change so much that people who are not linguists aren't even aware of the original meaning. That certainly hasn't happened yet with "gay". Pretty much all but the very youngest users of that insult are well aware it references same sex attraction. Ditto for "ret*d". All users (I think even young ones) know that it references intellectual disability. "b***h" may be slowly getting divorced from "female dog" in some minds, but it Is still in use and the chain of meaning is still there.

The core problem, and one that isn't solved by coining new terms such as "queer" or "intellectual disability" to outrun the insults (or re-appropriate them in the case of "queer") is the original judgement that X="something I dislike and that has no redeeming qualities". As long as people judge certain people as inherently contemptuous because of trait X, then insult use of whatever refers to them will always catch up to new terms. This will happen as long as a certain trait is seen as contemptuous.

In special education, I have met some kids with low functioning autism. They seem to be able to communicate to the other autistic kids better than they do to the teachers.

Anyone is special, even if they have trouble communicating to someone. I would definitely and still do take offense to this.

I've always been a bit of a rebel, and often used ret*d this and ret*d that. I still use it liberaly. Usualy when something like my router keeps kicking me off the internet every 5 minutes until I explode and call the manufacturer and the inventer names

I'm only half being litteral. I do believe something like a router should have been build more robustly than the *:%^$ thing seems to be.

I am not, nor have I ever seriously meant that a person is truly ret*d. I use it, how you say, as an adjictive?

Anyway, I'm not offended by the word. And I have been called that many times at school too. I don't believe any of them were the judgemental kind, simply the throw-away parting shot.

GregCav, please read the KingdomOfRats quote I posted. It explains the problem.

Me too.

As for the term "ret*d," yeah, *&^% that word.

I can't express how thoroughly your reply doesn't surprise me either. I don't think we agree on a single thing.

I'm not quoting the rest of it to avoid those annoying quotes pyramids. I have the same reply for the text you quoted as I did in this thread:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf224915-0-60.html

That's (part of) what I wrote, and I stand by it 100 %.
I will now predict that it doesn't surprise you. I in turn am equally un-surprised about that.

please dont use the ignorant cop out by labeling everyone whose against it as being PC,unless have got a clue what those of us who are directly affected by that label go through then perhaps its time to agree to disagree and get to know us.

some of us have grown up been treated as burdens on society because of our intelectual disability,we have spent our entire life being called intelectual disability slurs,being treated as sub human and useless as a result of the slur connotations,its always in comments of people here in autism cure topics,they want us cured because they think we need it,they havent got a clue what we want.
have even been told to kill self by a member here and a ex support staff because of it and because of their ignorance and bigotism towards it.
the world woud be a much better place if all those who shout PC at ret*d and hating the idea of cures at every opportunity were to actualy get involved with us and see what we think.
stop assuming its PC and stop using our disability as a slur if dont want to appear a hypocritical disablist bigot who will throw ret*d out like confetti but has morals against using racial slurs like nger.
it doesnt matter what excuse are using to back up the use of it,the reason its used is because its asociated with intelectual disability; people use it to describe something or someone stupid; its a reference and knock at us whether or not its directly or non directly intended.
am not against word banning am all for educating people so they can grow morals on issues that affect other people and moderate themselves.

coud go into this and the connotations a lot deeper but am due to go home soon and have to get ready.