Anyone else have problems letting go of arguments?

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I used to have a problem with this where I would debate something until it was clear in my head or until we came to some sort of resolution. I could never let things go and I could especially not let it go if it was a case of 'agree to disagree'. This would obviously annoy many people - in my head I was talking something out but to other people I was trying to wind them up by going on and on about a topic which ends up in a heated argument that I didn't mean to start but I didn't know how to end it.

It was extremely draining to be honest and took me a long time to recognize what I was doing. Now I just try and steer clear of debating things and take the stance they have their opinion and I have mine. It seems stupid it I have to put effort into not doing this.

I find it extremely difficult to let things go when the other person is not even listening to facts and instead, they are drawing false conclusion from their lack of knowledge and even worse, getting angry with you (hence, not letting you speak, so you can't get the facts through to their heads).

Do you think this is an Aspie vs NT thing? I am starting to think so.

I used to argue, so I could be seen/feel to be right - even if deep down I knew I might not be - probably due to seeking validation, which I am trying to correct, added to superior intelligence (psychologically assessed, so I'm not trying to brag, but as intellect is a strength that I'm lucky enough to have, I'd take any contradiction to be a personal attack on me). Now I am a lot better with this wrong behavior, and hate when other people do it and don't even give you the chance to tell them things like scientific facts. In the worst cases, when it involves family members, I can have a melt down. Even when I used to argue just to be right, I never got so angry with the other person, or at least didn't get personal. Other people tend to get personal and seem so illogical, as if it was second nature to them.

However, I am new to the world of Asperger's and already I am seeing that Aspies make way more sense to me than NTs, are much more logical in thinking and are actually more civil in their conversations/interactions online (haven't knowingly met an Aspie in real life yet). Even when I think an Aspie is wrong, I can see their honesty and WHY they got to that conclusion. It is usually because they are thinking in black and white terms and making too much of a generalisation (which is what I tend to do).

I'm really hoping that I can get a formal diagnosis of AS (currently awaiting assessment), because I think I have finally found a section of society that thinks like me or at least experiences the same difficulties such as having trouble letting things go and actively avoiding social interaction, in order to avoid possible conflicts and misunderstandings with NTs.

p.s. my therapist told me that I need to adapt to others, because..."people have their own opinions/emotional insecurities, past experiences etc, so even if they might be factually wrong, you should have more tolerance". I had told her that I cannot appreciate another person's view if I know that they are wrong factually, or logically. But apparently I should learn to accept them (or accept that they don't want to learn/change) and just move on.
It seems soooo hard to do this.