Are your Aspie/Autistic traits suppressed around others?

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I mainly only act myself around the people who live with me at home. When I'm at work or in public or with friends, I act differently. Well, I'm still obviously myself in some ways, but I'm more easier to be around. At home I express if I'm in a bad mood or good mood more, like if I'm in a good mood I act all hyper and excitable, but if I'm in a bad mood I yell and swear and stomp about and complain and even sometimes cry. When I'm outside of the home or with other people, I only express my moods/emotions very lightly, in a very placid way.

It#s difficult when my parents think that I must be able to control myself if I can control it when I'm out, which then makes it look like I'm doing it on purpose at home. It's not like that exactly. It's just that my social anxieties become less debilitating when I'm in my own comforts, so I feel I can loosen my tongue a little more and be less afraid to spill out my thoughts and feelings. Everybody's like it to a certain extent, but I'm probably a little more extreme. Well, I do know that you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends, so friends aren't going to want to hang out with me if I act like I do when I'm at home. But my family are used to me and have brought me up from birth. It is true that familiarity breeds contempt.

I think the proper term for my ASD baggage might be repressed. Try as I might it still forces its' way into what might otherwise be a very promising social situation. However, I think I still revel in the challenge of working past it, it's a polarizing question as usual but I still think my short answer is yes.

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I suppress a lot of my behavior. I can only be completely myself if I am alone. When I am with my brother I can be as myself as I can be unless I am alone. With everyone else, I tend to suppress more.

Way back when I was a little girl I would listen to all the wild behavior my grandmother would "do and get away with for being an old lady". I decided when I was a young child that when I became older I would no longer need to even attempt to follow all the ridiculous rules.

Well, now I am older and I don't follow the rules, not so much because of the choice I made so many years ago [though programming that so deeply within my mind for so many years might be part of it], but I am no no longer capable of it.

I wonder how much of it is autistic burnout, how much the stress of my sons' painful illness, how much trauma from a horrendous childhood finally refusing to be silenced anymore, how much from being physically ill and how much from the side effect of chemo, but I CANNOT suppress my authentic self anymore and it has been a wondrous/monstrous experience.

Until a few years ago,, by societys 'standards I was physically attractive for my age, an interesting conversationalist who did unique and fun things [things that cost money]and my devotion to my son and to helping others who are hurting was perceived positively. I thought my friends were as loyal as I was and though my family of origen had always been terribly cruel to me, I truly believed that if I became seriously ill that they would at least put on a facade of caring.

None of what I posted above is in any way the case today. None of it. I used all my money to try to help my son [a good investment in my opinion] lost my looks and then some, started hearing that something was wrong with me for helping homeless people when I was not far from that myself. My lovely sister, Kim contacted "my dear friends"and convinced them that I was faking breast cancer. THEY BELIEVED HER!

People caught me stimmimg, didn't like that I no longer did my hair or makeup and started saying that I was NEEDY [ hell yes, I was needy] and seemed to consider that the ultimate character flaw.

So, I no longer can pretend to be someone I'm not. That awareness pushed me into the deepest pit of despair I have ever been in [and I've been in some severely deep pits]and while there I knew that if I didn't find a way to crawl out soon I would most likely be stuck there forever.

I went into that pit a failed actress and came out a determined activist. I still can't slap on an NT face, but I no longer want to. I am finally, for the first time ever, accepting who I really am rather than being proud of hiding so well. Even though it still frightening and painful at times I am now proud of no longer hiding.

Only in nervous, stressed out periods, because that is when some behaviors become stronger, like pacing, thinking aloud, nervous hand movements, slight stuttering.
I see many people do these things to a certain extent, so either it is normal stress behavior, which comes out a little stronger in aspies, - or there is an awful lot of aspies around

Absolutely I suppress traits. I only discovered it was autism a year ago but I have always had weird habits and behaviors which caused me to be bullied and ridiculed. Funny how that sort of reaction teaches you quick to keep it to yourself. I am not sure if it's really a good thing or not but I can't even bring myself to fully relax into autistic behavior around my wife or parents. Hiding this stuff is wired in deeply now and although it requires a little effort to suppress, it feels instinctively wrong not when around others. Specifically, I am talking about stuff like rocking and talking to myself, repeating stuff to myself and all that jazz - just not socially acceptable unfortunately.

I don't stim when I'm outside my house (at least I don't think I do), but that's not a conscious choice, I just stiffen up when I'm outside. Otherwise, I only try to "act normal" when there are obvious negative consequences for not doing so (interviews, need someone to believe a lie, etc).

I was never aware enough of my autistic traits to try to suppress them. I was at times aware that people made fun of me but for some reason it didn't seem to concern me too much, it was just an observation.

I overheard social workers say I seemed autistic one day when I was applying for food stamps and I didn't think anything of that because I know I am quiet and in my own world and it didn't surprise me that someone would say that.

One day I was thinking about how I was getting old and about all the things I always wanted to happen, a normal life with a husband and a home in the country, and security. I realized that would probably never happen, I am already old and there is something wrong with my life. I am always alone, always separate from the rest of the world. I have lived in the same town for years and don't know anyone, I don't even know the people that I used to work with because I worked on a shift by myself.

I was laying in bed thinking about this and suddenly became very aware that there was something very wrong and then that thought connected to the comment I overheard made by the social workers like a flash of lightning and I suddenly sat up and realized that I could really be autistic.

I have long felt an affinity with autistic people but it was always something in the back of my head and never quite a reality.

That's when I started reading about autism and realized all my personality quirks and cognitive problems were symptoms of autism. Sometimes I am living in a fog, not totally aware of things even though I am intelligent in a lot of ways.

Since then I have gotten an unofficial diagnoses but have never gone through all the testing.

I think I have gone off topic, I meant to say I am more aware of things now like stimming and eye contact and the reasons for not being able to connect with people, but I just want to be myself and I want to be accepted for being myself. I don't have a problem with myself even though other people may have a problem with me. I can't act like other people and can't really connect with them and I don't want to suppress my autistic traits.

I don't mind living the rest of my life in my own world. I'm already collecting social security and medicare. It's not very much, but I will find a way to make it work.

Hi Wags,

I am learning that if people that I know are genuine friends then they will accept me along with the aspergers (at stage 3 of diagnostic). Even so, I do suppress a lot. For example when I'm in public & get overwhelmed by too much sensory input & feel a strong urge to hand-flap I put my hands behind my back & firmly grasp my right hand round my left wrist. It is VERY hard but I have to do it because hand-flapping isn't standard behaviour and would look weird.

I am sure that there are lots of other things I do/coping strategies to "blend in" with the rest of society. I get by a lot of the time by acting. In other words allthough certain things may not come naturally to me I copy what other people do, and it appears as genuine to other people.

I'm just learning that I have it this week, but have learned so much in the last few days it's surreal. Growing up, nobody could stand to be around me for very long, and, being very sensitive to criticism and wanting to be around people (but not knowing how), I set out to change it. For several years I would video tape myself, doing everything I normally do. I would also perform (something I've always been fixated on without the ability to do it in front of people). Then I would go back and watch it, comparing myself to "normal" people and looking for what was annoying or ugly, and what was attractive or cool. I worked really hard to come up with a social persona that wouldn't make people run away. I started storing all of my ticks away, but some things I couldn't change. I do pace around people, blurt things out, run or jump randomly, things I can't suppress. Mostly I end up feeling like it's all bubbling up, and I have to get away from people to be myself. I hate people thinking I'm weird. I feel it all over, like post-it notes of insults covering me. My mental view of myself changes depending on who I'm with so I try to be careful what I show them. It's exhausting.

Unless I'm very tired, stressed, angry or scared, playing "normal" is like second nature to me now. Well, not "normal" exactly, I'm not that good an actor, but normally eccentric maybe