I hate Asperger's

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You're contradicting yourself. If your behaviors are a result of your autism, then you ARE your autism, whether you like it or not.

I'm sorry to see you struggling so hard to hate who you are, but you can't change it, so you might as well come to terms with it.

Autism is a Sensory Processing Dysfunction - every "behavior" and "pathology" involved with Asperger Syndrome flows from that physical neurological handicap. All the behaviors associated with AS are reflexive reactions to that Sensory Processing Impairment. Since you cannot willfully reprogram the physical structure of your brain, being angry about it is pointless and nonproductive.

The physical reality is that NT brains take in the constant barrage of Sensory input and assign values to each individual element - turning the 'volume' up or down, depending on the importance of each one in that moment, so the feel of the pen in their hand does not distract them from the words being spoken by their boss and so on.

That automatic filter is faulty in the autistic brain, so when we make eye contact during a conversation, we can be easily overwhelmed by the other person's gaze or the light shining off their nose and completely miss what they're saying. The automatic 'volume' control is broken.

Every 'pathological' behavior associated with AS and HFA can be traced back to that core issue, like a line of falling dominoes.

You can learn to work around those behaviors and handicaps by modifying the ways that you respond to them, but the core problem isn't going anywhere. Like it or not, it IS who you are. It makes you different than the average, but not less valuable and only slightly less capable (in very specific ways).

The problems AS hands us are inconvenient and unavoidable, but not insurmountable. Every time you start to feel confined by your handicaps, imagine what it must be like to have a more serious impairment - at least you weren't born connected by the head to a Siamese twin, or with a physical deformity that makes people wince and look away in horror. Would your life be easier if you had been born with a Neurotypical brain, but no legs?

As others in this thread have noted, I don't have a problem with being autistic - I have a problem with people who can't accept someone who thinks and behaves differently than they do. I learned very early on to enjoy being different, even while my parents were doing everything they could think of to turn me into a "normal" kid. I looked around me and saw that "normal" seemed tedious and uninteresting in the extreme and I've always been glad that I wasn't like that. Did my social awkwardness and alienation cause me difficulty and pain? Hells yeah, it did. It still leaves me isolated and lonely a great deal of the time, but if the alternative is to be overwhelmed, stressed and pressured, I'll live with the solitude. There are worse things to tolerate and I've experienced many of them.

So I wouldn't go so far as to call my autism a blessing, it's definitely a disability, but as disabilities go, there are far more horrible things to get stuck with. Yes, there are times when I hate the feelings of being unequipped to cope with situations by which others don't even seem to be affected. But this is the way I have always been and will always be and as difficult as it can get, I can't imagine wanting to be someone else. Take away all the obstacles and challenges I've had to struggle with and it would leave me a totally different person. I don't know who that other person would be and I don't feel a pressing need to find out. There's nothing wrong with the person I am.

I may not be entirely "defined" by my autism, but my autism has certainly and in large part formed who I have become. We are fundamentally intertwined and inseparable. It is what it is. And I'm okay with that.




Hans Asperger pronounced his name Ahz-Pair-Gur, so when you hear people saying "Ass Burgers" they are mispronouncing it. I tell them Ass Burgers is a barbecue restaurant in New Mexico.

Well, I hope that works out for you. It does seem to work okayish for some autistics. Quite a lot of others, myself included, have found it a fast lane to burnout land.



It's not about that, just about accepting reality rather than fighting against it. Some of my leanings overlap with geek/nerd type interests, because I happen to like those. If I did not, I'd be fine with that too.

Personally I've always found it difficult to fit into any given subculture. I am too nonconformist to "be different just like everyone else".



Yeah, that worked out really well for her, didn't it? She lived a long happy life... oh wait...

I don't dislike Asperger's because of being naive and thinking NTs have it easier. I dislike Asperger's because I don't like being different. I take too much notice of it, and I can't escape it because I am high-functioning and so I have to go to work and stuff, so I can't be away from seeing what I am missing. I'm too ''normal'' to socially isolate myself, but I'm too Aspie to be as socially accepted as I would like to be.

Asperger's makes me feel so isolated. I feel like I'm living in a bubble and can't get out. I can still see and hear people and interact and everything, but I can't connect as much as I want to because of this bubble. I think I can connect, and then a situation arises when I'm like, ''wait, maybe this has happened because I had trouble connecting with the people....awww, damn it, I thought I was better than this!''

Asperger's makes me confused. I don't know who I am. I don't even know what I want out of life. Work is too stressful. Not working is too lonely. What the f**k?

im racing for a cure to mcdonalds fast food.

I am OK as myself, autism included.

yeah, I'm not giving up... I want to either get the white picket fence and Lexus or die trying. Best of luck - but it's worth a shot. Maybe Marilyn was a bad example. Plenty of blonde celebrities started out brunette and they're cool with whatever. I don't want a long life - just a successful one where I can live up to the standards I expected growing up and trying to break out of the special ed stereotype. I would rather burn out than not have tried.

For me, it's not about being happy - because for me happiness derives from being good and I don't conceptualize decision making on an individual level, but on a group / family level.

There are a few pros for sure, but I hate the bad parts of it - especially when symptoms got really bad. That's a big part of what's motivated me to find a treatment that works for me.. and it's working amazingly well. Basically just posting in your thread to say pay attention to when I post a thread about the diet & treatment protocol I've been doing for the last 5 months or so as if you truly hate Asperger's you're going to want to consider giving it a shot to see if it works for you.

I think it is healthy to come to terms with how you are feeling about it. It's helpful to put your feelings put there rather than to deny them. At least you are able to admit how you feel. I am NT and feel the same way sometimes just about my personality. I make mistakes EVERY day. and what is worse I make teh same mistakes iver snd over and over and I ask myslef "when will I ever learn?" But sometimes it is just a matter of acceptance. This is who I am and I am at peace with it. Then you develop an inner confidence in yourself. The most important thing is self compassion and the ability to forgive ourselves.

I agree with the person who said that society needs to be more accepting of people who are not like them. We should embrace all walks of life. I also agree with the person who said they didn't want AS to define them. When you allow a diagnosis to dictate who you are and what you are capable of that could be a recipe for disaster. Just bc social situations are difficult doesnt mean you can't learn these skills if you want to. If you don't want to bc you don't enjoy socializing then you shouldn't have to.

I was listening to Temple Grandin today and one of the things she said was how she appears more "normal" now than she did 10 years ago and that t she believed it was bc she has had more practice at it. I dont like the word "normal." What is normal anyway and if it means being like everyone else then who wants to be normal. I don't believe anyone should be made to feel inferior to someone else just bc they say or do things differently. We need to embrace our differences bc that is what makes the world to around. We can't have everyone being the same. It just wouldn't work. It is important to be the person God created us to be.

Here's one of my favorite clips from Planes Trains and Automobiles on the subject. I hope it goes through. This is the part where Steve Martin blasts John Candy for being a "chatty Cathy" and he goes through this long litany of what is wrong with John Candy. It isn't favorite quote bc at some point you have to be like "screw them" bc what it comes down to is they hate themselves so take it out on you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFh5FzXIeBg&sns=em[/youtube]

Last edited by Therese04 on 21 Oct 2013, 7:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Hear, hear!

You wanna know a secret?

Basically you're thinking about being normal too much. Don't over-analyze things like many of us do or else things will seem unnatural. Instead, you should just be yourself. The ironic thing is when you stop trying to be normal, then you're actually in a better position.


Just be yourself, don't over-analyze situations, and most importantly dont worry be happy. Just remember to be nice and friendly to people. People respect others who are nice and friendly. And if anyone disses you, chances are they're immature and will need some time to grow up.

I hate it too, really sucks when everybody you know moves on with their lives.

Huh? Diet? I personally couldn't be eating healthier between you and me.

Here's another video I think you all will like.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Precious in His sight!! !! !

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knufGMMUvwQ[/youtube]

I hate it too, I will never accept it because the majority of people is NT. I was born with AS (puking as I write it) but I had the mentality to do what everyone else is doing and fitting in even if it kills me. A person who I hate who thinks its bad to be someone else and that may be true. But if the NT's do it why cant I? I dont want to be one of the ones Who are being treated unfairly by everyone. This is the NTs world. They are the ones to judge first and see who is worthy of being important. My mom and dad also give me trouble. They work themselves to death and give themselves stress and when I have a problem with something in my life they are always asking "Do you have to deal with this stuff that I have to, Nope" or "You don't know what stress is try my life for a day". Last time he said one of those I said I would love to have his life because I wouldn't be diseased anymore and could be myself even though he thinks he has a terrible life. He is still immune from the crap that I am bogged down with. because he is normal," but not me. I feel like my sister has the perfect life. She proves hat you don't have to be an Aspie to be smart, and an athlete, and has a ton of friends. Even some NT's would dream of that life. I will never accept myself I haven't met the real me and I don't think I am ready to any time soon.

I hate it too. I used to hate it more, but I'm growing to hate it a little less.

Yes, it is who I am. But I would be better being me with social skills and without executive dysfunction.

Then again, I know some seriously messed up NTs who are really miserable people. I'd rather be me than them.

So who knows. I could be better without Asperger's. Or I could be worse.

Depends on what you're eating/not eating. I was eating a "healthy," diet before, too, but I've changed it dramatically again and have had great success with it. I'm working on typing it all up so I can share here, but I've been absolutely exhausted in the evenings after work so I haven't made a lot of progress this week. Eventually I'll get it all typed out, then you can read my story and what I'm eating/doing and if it makes sense to you, feel free to give it a shot.