Your mother

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Your poll options are too specific, so none of them directly apply to me. I was going to be the first to vote for "My mom and I hate each other with passion", but that's not quite true, because I only hate her "passively" now (ie. without a passion ) and I doubt she actually hated me. Nevertheless, she certainly acted like it when it mattered and she is dead to me now.

I do still feel a bit jealous when I occasionally venture into the Parent's Discussion forum here and read about how patient and supportive the parents in there can be! It's heartening to know that good parents exist out there. I can't help thinking that my mother's response to many of the issues posted there would be along the lines of "just stop that crap... what the hell is wrong with you?"

I have a very good relationship with my mother. She is very sweet and understanding to me, and we are usually there for each other. We do fight sometimes, but we do apologize and forgive each other in the end.

I picked my mom thinks im the worst thing ever even though I know that's not true. just to be funny

When I was younger, before I was diagnosed, I think my mom did the best she could, despite not having information about AS. She (and my dad) have always been caring and supportive, but I feel like there's been a shift in our relationship within the last half dozen years or so; there's more of a friendship there, even though she might not understand why I choose to be reclusive and I don't always understand why she keeps insisting that I make new friends.But we do fun things together, like go to the theatre.

I love my mom but when I used to live with my parents my mom and I had some problems.

I chose "My mom tried her best, she's loving and understanding." She is nothing like me at all - about as NT as you can possibly imagine. An athletic, carefree social butterfly. Extremely compassionate and caring. She is the polar opposite of me in many ways, so I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for her to raise a weird, obsessive little child like me. I have only just now got my diagnosis as an adult; Asperger's wasn't something that was well known about at the time, so people just weren't very understanding. She got a lot of sh*t about it from relatives, who would tell her that she wasn't hard enough on me, that she shouldn't baby me, that I just needed to "get over it." But thankfully my mom didn't listen to them, she realized that I had different needs than my siblings and she parented me in the way that was best for ME. Although we come from two different worlds, and she can never truly understand the way I think and feel, she understood just enough. She is likely the reason that I have been able to go so long in this NT world without getting diagnosed - I had her to look up to as a guide for coping. I think that in the hands of another mother, my life would have turned out very much differently, and not in a good way. Even now, as an adult, I can call my mom and no matter what crazy mood I am in, she knows exactly what to say to ground me.

Now my dad, that's an entirely different story....

My mum doesn't seem to care about me or bother to understand me. If she did, I could talk to her about anything without her passing harsh judgement on me. I've learned a hard lesson over the past four years not to put any trust in her or family in general. She wanted a snotty little oversexed NT Valley Girl a la Roseanne Barbie for a firstborn and ended up with Mick Avory II.

My mother is very nice but she's kind of naive. She usually thinks everything will turn out for the best so I don't tell her my problems anymore.

My mother is a bigoted fundamentalist with no imagination, who blames me for her stressful past and cannot seem to live without a man to tell her what to do.

She is not evil, but she has often hurt people because she is so unwilling to care about other people's perspectives.

Given that I am practically paranoid about never hurting another person and get most of my meaning in life from prosocial actions (i.e., I want to change the world, help people, and generally be a cliched heroine), it's rather ironic that I'm the one with the autism diagnosis.

Maybe part of why I am the way I am is that I saw how much it hurt people when my mom didn't consider other people's perspectives to be significant and listened to anyone who was male and persuasive. I don't want to be like that, and I'm scared I will be, so I work harder than most people not to be.

But I have to remind myself to laugh at my own quixotry once in a while, or I'd become entirely too serious and get a big head about my save-the-world mentality. I have to remind myself that the best way to save the world is to help it save itself.

My mother and I used to be inseparable. I followed her in everything and I thought she was the font of all wisdom. She coddled me and spoiled me like crazy. For that, I feel very, very fortunate. I also think it's a good thing that she informed herself about autism even before I was officially diagnosed at 7. She suspected autism, and she dove into the literature about it, and wouldn't miss a single TV documentary on autism. She stimulated my intellectual development, and by the time I was 8, 9 years old, we were having discussions on subjects that made my special school's social workers (as well as teachers and a lot of other adults) go "Well, isn't he a bit too young for complicated topics like these?" Well, they were wrong. And she knew that.

There's a lot she did wrong, too, though. I came to see that when I was in my late teens. But for all her flaws, she made me the man I am today. So she did a great job in general, I just have to clean up some of the mess she made.

Right now, we live in different towns, and I honestly miss her every day. But I also know that it's important for me to go on without her and see if I can stand on my own two. That went well in the past 4 years that I've had work of my own and living mostly independently. So yes, thumbs up to my mother.

My Mother knows she has made mistakes but passes them off as trying her best, so that's alright.
But in reality - she forgets about me if I don't call her. When I said I was going through a hard time and asked for more attention I didn't get it.
She spends a lot of time doing stuff for her Church, and visits my siblings (even if they don't want her to). I wonder if her husband, my step-father has something to do with it.

She tries to do the right thing, but I'm always the bottom of her to-do list.
She has improved in recent years, but not so I feel I can rely on her support.

I love my mother, she has always supported me

I love my mother to death, and no waterfall on Earth will match my tears, if she dies before Jesus comes back. That said, there's still a lot of anger in my heart towards her, for not being strong enough to take my sister and I away from her domineering, self-righteous, super-religious aunt and uncle. They pretty much raised me from the ages of 3 to 14, because my Mom was a workaholic...and she felt so indebted to them that all 3 of us stayed put. Not to speak ill of the dead, but my aunt Pat was a real "piece of work", if you catch my drift. She and my uncle Wayne were married for almost 38 years, from their 1965 wedding until her death in 2003...and in the 20 years I knew them, I don't recall seeing them share a single smile or laugh together...seriously.

Nowadays, its still all 3 of us at home...but its painfully obvious they're not that happy with my being there all day, especially my sister Lauren. If Mom didn't lean on her for transportation and help with the bills, Lauren would've moved away years ago. I'm on SSI myself (the longest job I ever had was 4 months, 15 years ago), and about a third of it goes to Mom for rent every month. I try my best to keep to myself, because most meaningful conversations eventually come around to my still being unemployed. They don't get why I only see work as a path to living alone, with a ton of stuff but no one who really loves me as I am...and all my attempts to explain just drive them both crazy.

I'm fortunate enough to be able to select answer # 1. My mother is wonderful.

My mom is my best friend, she has been forever since I never had friends in school.