Birds of a Feather Flock Together

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On my way to assessment I had to ask other waiting passengers which bus to take. A very strange looking woman my own age approached me and told me, that she had been abroad on a music course and was heading the same way. Within 5 minutes we had discussed woodwind and wood hardness (she turned out to be a flute player), had found out, that we knew the same people and had our harpsicords built by the same maker and had had some of the same teachers.
She was very friendly, open and interesting to talk to, but a little awkward and had a hard time giving eye contact. Aspie, no doubt.
Her radar had found me instantly.

What is more odd is that I know nothing of you yet somehow knew the tone of your responses did not represent you accurately. I definitely do not mind disagreement since it helps me explore alternative views. I totally get the nicotine thing.

Have you tried the electronic cigs? I've been smoke free for 14 months. I seem to now be using them as a habit but I feel better; no more hacking, I don't get sick as often (and when I do it is nowhere near as bad), and I don't stink! Never realized how strong the odor was until I quit. This worked for my wife as well. She was a 2 pack a day, and I was a pack a day smoker.

Than again I suppose you could already be using a smokeless version of nicotine and all this rambling was pointless lol.

Either way, I experience mood swings all the time so I get it. I can be a real jacka*s sometimes

If you would have asked me this question 3 years avoid, It would have been the opposite. I would have tried to avoid all aspies in general.


The reason I say this is because I didn't like having Aspergers. And when I saw other people who I thought had autism, I saw something in them I didn't like about myself. I didn't want anything to do with them.

I should have said that, although my best friend at school has traits of autism and may have Aspergers, that doesn't mean I could gel with anyone with autism or traits. My BIL definitely has Aspergers, he's oblivious, has no diagnosis and never will, but there's doubt about it. I can't stand him and, I'm sorry to admit, some of it is down to autism traits. He speaks out of turn, says incredibly hurtful things and has no idea why anyone has taken offence. I know he's not really a nasty person and this all comes down to theory of mind, but really, how can't he work out that telling someone to their face that they're fat or ugly isn't appropriate, when he knows how it feels to be told that himself. On the other hand, my husband, his brother, has autism traits which I find endearing. That's probably what drew me to him more than anything.

I don't know if I have Aspergers but I generally tend to like people on the spectrum. They are much easier to talk to than other people and don't usually pick on me so much. The only two online contacts that I have stayed in touch with for more than a few years have an ASD. They are sweet.

And the last person I was attracted to romantically was on the spectrum as well. He was very good at the err intimate thing.

I think the important thing to keep in mind is that everybody on the spectrum is different and you will meet people who click with you probably because they have similar interests or similar quirks but not necessarily because they have Aspergers.

I have only had the opportunity to get to know one person with Aspergers during a conference who was quite successful but very arrogant toward me. I recall blaming his arrogance on his Aspergers but it could have easily been his personality or social status that influenced his behavior.

Tonight (if I maintain my courage) I'll be going to an Aspie meet-up group in town. I'll have an easier time answering for myself the question posed on this thread.

I have thought that this was logical. It may be difficult for those who have already resigned themselves into forced isolation. That would require organization.

It also may not work with Aspies who are still investing all their energy into being accepted by NTs. They would use the other Aspies to prove that they are not like that.

We need to talk more about existing Aspie meet-ups, so the idea can be copied.

Hi IdleHands,
My own life experience has also found that I gravitate towards people on the autistic spectrum, and also that they gravitate towards me.
The strange thing is that in many cases the people weren't diagnosed at the time, however they recently have been.

Personally, I much prefer the company of people on the autistic spectrum because I can understand them. They struggle with the same issues as me, and we can ask eachother for advice. Such people are predictable (both because we can understand how they think because we think in a very simular way, and also because like us they need structure and routine. That makes them predictable, which satisfies our own need for engaging with predictable persons).