PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH! -- ??

Post Reply New Topic

Nobody eats a sandwich with just peanut butter, besides ghoti. I've asked for a "peanut butter sandwich" before, assuming that jelly was implied, and nobody has ever given me peanut butter on bread as a result. I think it's safe to assume that PB sandwich = PB&J, unless they specify otherwise.

It sounds like you're not very familiar with your son's routine. It may sound like you're giving into him but you don't really want to just stop an autistic kid's routine cold turkey. It's going to fill him with anxiety if everything different seems to be happening.

It doesn't matter if it wasn't state that he wanted jelly on his peanut butter sandwich. That's not the issue here. The issue here is this boy requires very specific things to be happy. And you have to note what they are and remember them for next time.

Yelling at a child while they have a meltdown is futile. It's not just some kid being naughty or trying to get his own way. He is in emotional distress.

I'm 27 and I still have a routine. I can adjust it if need be (albeit with some heightened anxiety, panic attacks, outbursts) but this is something few with autism will grow out of. And he's a little one; you can't just take a routine away from him. Little five year old me would be screaming the house down too.

You need to learn to work with him and explain to him what happens before it happens, and not 5 minutes before it happens.

I have just assumed that DS5 means diagnosed/son/5 years old, if not then disregard this message. I didn't realise you're on the spectrum yourself.

And who cares about what is added or not added to a peanut butter sandwich. I put honey on mine.

I agree with leafplant in saying that a young child is not going to understand your own needs. Even a non-autistic child will.

Let me clarify: I never said my child was obligated to understand my needs. This debate is between me and my husband, as to what my husband telling me to make a "peanut butter sandwich" should be understood as (with jelly or without). I did not hear my son say "Peanut Butter and Jelly" to my husband (who later dropped the "with jelly" part of the request to me) because I was busy helping to take care of several other things in the craziness of getting him out the door and getting my other son ready for his therapies, plus getting myself ready to go to a doctor appt and to work.

Pensieve: I'm very familiar with my son's routine. However, sometimes life gets in the way and the world does not revolve around his every wish. It is important that he understand this. I do my best to accommodate him, but I cannot, nor can the world, be expected to accommodate every single thing he wants whenever he wants. Sometimes unexpected things occur and in the crunch of time I do not have the luxury to let him cool off (which could take upwards of 20 minutes) when the bus is downstairs waiting.

Adamantium: My husband was raised in Russia but came here when he was a teenager. He's very Americanized, having been here more than 3/4 of his life already. I also agree that I have never heard of a PBJ sandwich called "peanut butter sandwich" and that is what threw me off!

I do have trouble figuring out what things to "let go" as to me, all things are equally important in the morning routine. So, I have trouble being a little flexible and making those sorts of executive decisions, figuring out which things don't have to be done. I do sometimes let circumstance rule out, but I certainly do try to fit it all in, even if I have to brush his teeth in the elevator on the way down to the schoolbus!

I often ask my husband to take the reins if I feel that I cannot manage the situation effectively. However, it is a Catch-22 because then I think that his different style can become confusing and send mixed messages to DS5.

Joe: Yes, I agree there is a double standard. It's hard to know who is responsible for the breakdown in communication. I guess it takes both sides. But my husband and stepdaughter (who is always ready to agree with her dad) made me into a mockery for thinking that a peanut butter sandwich did not automatically include jelly. They both laughed at my expense. I was peeved.

Peanutbutter is peanutbutter and peanutbutter and jelly is peanutbutter and jelly. Mouths and tongues have been invented to make exact communication possible and magic abilities like mind reading needless.

Anyway, I want to congratulate you on your tolerance. I think latest after the trainstuff, I simply would have grabbed the kid under the arm, and transported him straight too kindergarten, ignoring his further anger issues. O_o

Why is this thread even happening?

It sounds like a really sh***y morning, with stress all round.

My bet is that if you had made the sandwich with peanut butter and jelly, your son would have complained that the bread was the wrong shape!

Adamantium,

Thank you!! ! That was great medicine! Surely it is you who are next in line to pen the next poetry book
You brought me cheer on a chilly November evening. Big hugs your way!

Humbly,
Mikassyna

If I was asked to make a peanut butter sandwich, it would just have peanut butter on it.