Husband and I want to have kids... will they be autistic?

Page 2 of 2 [ 24 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,280
Location: Pacific Northwest

24 Nov 2013, 7:56 pm

I was told I had a higher chance of having a kid with autism and I already knew that. I had him and he is normal. He was very active and very hyper and acted like he had ADHD but after giving him a consistent bedtime and being tough keeping him in bed, he has been doing better now. He is more calm and relaxed and he isn't getting me overwhelmed. I also try and take him out at least twice a week because I was informed that will also help him.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


aspieMD
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 133

24 Nov 2013, 9:22 pm

It's not that I don't think I'll "love" a child with a disability/autism, it's the time issue. I really don't think my husband and I, both in "high-power" fields, would have time to raise a kid with special needs.

Also, it seems on wrongplanet that every second aspie has at least one kid with AS. It just seems so genetic.



Thelibrarian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,948
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

24 Nov 2013, 9:25 pm

aspieMD wrote:
It's not that I don't think I'll "love" a child with a disability/autism, it's the time issue. I really don't think my husband and I, both in "high-power" fields, would have time to raise a kid with special needs.

Also, it seems on wrongplanet that every second aspie has at least one kid with AS. It just seems so genetic.


I agree on the number of AS parents with AS children; just go go to the parents' forum for evidence.

Again, the younger both of you are, the less chance on giving birth to an autistic child.

If you are doing well financially, you could always look at some kind of egg transplant and a sperm donor.



Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

24 Nov 2013, 9:41 pm

aspieMD wrote:
It's not that I don't think I'll "love" a child with a disability/autism, it's the time issue. I really don't think my husband and I, both in "high-power" fields, would have time to raise a kid with special needs.

Also, it seems on wrongplanet that every second aspie has at least one kid with AS. It just seems so genetic.
Remember that some of that is because people whose child has been diagnosed are more likely to have their doctors recognize their own undiagnosed autism.

The special needs thing could happen even if you had no increased risk of autism in the family. Your child could be born with cerebral palsy (which seems to be mostly a matter of chance), or they could be born quite normal, but be injured later on and acquire a disability. There's no way to guarantee that your child won't have special needs, and if you wouldn't have enough time, then that would be really bad. I think that unless you can determine that should your child have, or get, a disability, you would be able to make time for them, then you probably shouldn't risk it.

You can still mentor a child, if you want to pitch in with raising the next generation.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com


Janissy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,450
Location: x

25 Nov 2013, 7:37 am

]

aspieMD wrote:
It's not that I don't think I'll "love" a child with a disability/autism, it's the time issue. I really don't think my husband and I, both in "high-power" fields, would have time to raise a kid with special needs.

Also, it seems on wrongplanet that every second aspie has at least one kid with AS. It just seems so genetic.


r.[/quote]

A child with no special needs is a time sink too. It's just the nature of children. If your gamble is hoping for a low maintenance child, the odds are pretty low. They do exist but gambling that you get one is a far bigger gamble than merely gambling on a special needs vs no special needs or autistic vs not autistic child. And even if you do get a low maintenance child, that doesn't come into play until at least 4 or 5. Babies and toddlers are all high maintenance.

Hopefully you are young enough that you can delay childbearing until after you finish your residency. But be warned that your wish for a low maintenance child is very unlikely to be granted even with no special needs whatsoever and even with an introvert who doesn't require endless playdates.



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

25 Nov 2013, 12:39 pm

i have a 10 year old son and he doesnt have an asd. he has some mild developmental problems with reading, writing and maths, but thats it, he has not got an asd. he lives with my ex so i dont see him as much.



daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

25 Nov 2013, 10:44 pm

Congratulations on your marriage!

So, you probably have a very low chance overall of having a child with ASD, It's probably less than a 50% , probably less than 10%although there is no exact figure available. Nevertheless, you probably have a much greater chance of having an ASD kid than the average woman you'd pick off of the street. Looking at parents on this site gives you a skewed sample. People who have ASD themselves and have ASD kids might be more likely to spend time posting on this site, for example.



aussiebloke
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,407

08 Dec 2013, 3:06 am

Joe90 wrote:
A social worker I used to have, had a husband with diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome, and he's had 5 children with her (and he's their real father), and none of the 5 children have any ASDs at all. Also I know a woman with a lot of ASD traits but has 4 children and 6 grandchildren, and none of them are on the spectrum either.

But I'm still afraid to have a baby because I know I will be unlucky enough to have a child on the spectrum, and I hate Asperger's so much, so why would I be cruel enough to bring another child into this intolerant world with an ASD?


your a smart cookie my mother works as a teachers aid despite what the do gooders say things haven't changed one ioata except they have now banned the cane :twisted:


_________________
Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob