What movitates or motivated you to stay alive

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the only thing that keeps me going are my siblings. im the oldest of them all and the youngest is only 6. no matter how low i feel, even to the point of suicidal thoughts which have been all too common for me for years, i just cant let them down like that. i cant imagine the horrible impact my death would have on their minds. for whatever reason, they look up to me A LOT. the way i see it, im here to watch/help them succeed

All the good things in life. Like beautiful things, yummy food (I'm a good cook), fun games, special interests, helping others, and of course, love and sex. I also like learning things and hope I never get too old and dumb to learn.

Even if you can't live the mainstream lifestyle, there are still plenty of options. Nothing wrong with being single and doing non-high-paying jobs.

*My (NT) husband is developing his own game right now. He's a bit old for it but it's been a dream for many years. I say go for it when you're young and energetic and don't have to look after your family and children. I know you don't expect to have any, but the curious thing about life is you really can't predict the future, you just don't know. When I was young like you I was in another country, didn't speak any English and was a lesbian. I was crazily in love with my girlfriend and we were fantasizing about being together forever. Lots of unplanned things happened and I just accepted them. Anyway, my point is when you're alive you might have good fortune or bad fortune or a mix, when you're dead nothing more will happen, good or bad. I'd only think about suicide when I'm sure my good days are over, like when I'm over 90.

Anytime I am felling down. All I have to do is just turn on the news and take a look at what else is going on in the world and you will soon learn that there are people that have it a lot worse then you do. I calculated my living expenses to about $15 a day which is pretty good when you consider the fact that the average person in the whole world live on just $2 a day.


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Life is like chasing a rainbow. The closer you get to it, the further it moves away from you. No matter how fast you move up in life. You'll never reach your goal because once you reach it. you'll want to keep on moving.

I don't have a quick, painless method of committing suicide, and I don't want to leave my parents with the bills I have accumulated. Also, living is a habit.

What motivates me to stay among the living is that I enjoy life. Since much of an aspie's life is lived inside of our heads, I think we might as well furnish this space lavishly with the best rather than with junk from TV and pop culture. I do have a very nice external environment as well though. It was a matter of deciding what I want out of life and making it happen.

1. Friends and family
2. My dog, Chico
3. My volunteer job
4. My values and beliefs
5. The special needs people that I bump into every now and again
6. My acquaintances at Stepping Stones
7. Hopes for a stronger economy in the future
8. Jesus
9. The Kinks

I'm too stubborn to give up.

I'm clinically depressed, I have moderate anxiety that causes mock heart attacks, and combining that with my autism has lead to the rough equivalent of agoraphobia. I'm lonely because I have a hard time liking the people I try to make friends with, and because I don't actually leave my home very often. I am in a humiliating position because I'm on SSI and going through vocational rehab.

Why do I keep going? Because I know I can show up the entire world. I know I see patterns in things other people miss. I know that even though I'm a slow thinker, I'm so thorough that there's almost no possibility for something I build to go wrong. I know that I will have my day as long as I keep moving forwards.

You have a goal you want to accomplish, right? Something that seems out of reach? Every day - or, failing that, every week - make one step towards accomplishing that goal. You'll eventually get there.

This sums it up for me:

To also quote Drevis Neloren, professor at Skyrim's College of Winterhold: "You know, they say knowledge is its own reward."

Pete1061, I envy you your fluffy friend. I hope one day to get a pet too. (Current apt. does not allow pets )

1. Suicide bums people out.

i used to be real depressed living for nothing too. now im trying to make hip hop instrumentals in an attempt to bring good rap music back, so that kids wont be so stupid , so that the world maybe can improve a bit. also, i want to sex up an alien some time. you need to find your thing. whatever that may be. every life is unique. theres SOMETHING you want out of life. it wont be easy to achieve but a good life unfortunately doesnt come easy. just live for yourself.

Then I also have this "what if" thought, I don't know it's how it happens, nobody knows for sure.
But what if suicide just resets me back to square one, and I have to live this same life over again until I leave it naturally?
That's just a risk I'm not willing to take.

Too many things left to experience and try...

If I cannot find a relationship or anyone to be with to ease my loneliness, then I shall spend my life trying as many things as I can instead. I shall study all the things I want to learn about, develop all the skills I want to develop, travel, have adventures, ride roller coasters, go kayaking, learn to dive...

I don't lose my ability to enjoy things when I am depressed and I don't experience feelings of worthlessness. I also don't stay in bed as I prefer to be out and about doing things instead. I do not get any physical symptoms with my depression or anxiety at all..they all went away when I cleaned all chemicals out of my system (meds, cigs, alcohol, aspartame, additives, preservatives etc), started exercising and went paleo. I think my depression might be atypical in its presentation. I Just have difficulty sleeping, burst into tears a lot alone or in public and sometimes think about whether I want to die to alleviate my pain. I am lonely and sick of the cruelty and spite of mankind. Problem is if I alleviate the pain then I rule out all the good stuff as well...Can't do that.

My therapist did say I seem to have a complicated presentation..I think meaning my presentation is different to usual.

Knowledge, family, art, music, my girlfriend and the belief that one day I may possibly wake and feel happy and innocent again.

You no longer feel innocent?

Just my upbeat nature and zeal for everything I love.

My motivation is my dream that someday some one other than this vibrating fur ball on my right arm will love me for who I am and not just my pretty face.