I always hurt people who get close to me
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
Well, I guess we're even. She forgot about yesterdays incident, or just let it go. But, she got me in trouble with 3 teachers, and I had to listen to them shouting at my face due to her. She also made me lose a server of mine, along with a latency test I was running, she shut down and hid my laptop, no one does that. NO FRICKING ONE. I told her she's dead to me, and asked her to stay away. What better way than that to cut contact with her?
This.
I did it for a long time. It wasn't until someone commented (after spending some one-on-one time with me) that I was a "nice guy" and then asked why I acted like such a jerk when around others.
It was then I realized that a part of me was so used to being rejected that I found it "safer" to consistently deal with the pain of rejection than to risk what might happen if I actually had friends. I never saw the shift in how I acted in a group as compared to how I acted when just dealing with one person.
Try to make a conscious effort to reciprocate. By conscious effort, I mean you have to do with extra effort what most people can do naturally. I'm the same way, I'm 35 and just now learning how to maintain friendships.
1.) Don't attach yourself to one person for too long a period. People will get freaked out and will think you're a clinger, and there goes a friend. Try to develop a base of friends, much like a baseball team develops a base of prospects. Always be on the lookout for like-minded people for friendship. Sometimes you'll find a friend, other times a friendship may not work out--consider it a failed prospect.
2.) No matter how uncomfortable going out and socializing is, you should occasionally take up their invitation to hang out. You'll get occasional invitations, you don't always have to accept, but you should once in a while. Think of it as keeping yourself within a loop.
It's truly an art form and a fine line to walk between being clingy and being aloof. I've been guilty of the clinginess on occasion, and have run off my share of people, but FAR more often, I've run people off by being aloof, turning down invitations to hang out. But think of it as a learning experience, and you should be able to better walk the proverbial tightrope.
_________________
AQ = 38
RAADS-R = 160
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