Think before you say things while in public.

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I was taught the same thing as a kid about people. What I was never taught was how I shouldn't say bad things about other people behind their backs. Wait, I think my mom did try teaching me this and it didn't make any sense because I couldn't see any logic behind it. Now it makes more sense because people gossip and they can repeat what you say and tell that person about it. You do have to be careful when you talk about other people. I think people do this because they love gossip and love the drama and sometimes they may stretch what you said and exaggerate what you said. I would say only do it to someone you trust like your loved one or good friend you have or close one because you know they won't go around telling others what you said nor go to that person. If someone would have told me this as a kid, I would have learned it a lot sooner instead of finding out the hard way. My other tip is if someone asks you what you think about another person, I would also be careful answering that because they could go to that person telling them what you said leaving out the fact they asked you for your opinion about them. It took me a while to learn that in high school when kids were taking advantage of my honesty but I learned to not answer questions about people from kids in my school only, now it's universal.

Also sometimes people just tell others what you said about them because they think they are being helpful to that person. It happened to my mom at work ten years ago when her co workers were telling her what their boss was saying about her and my mom told them she didn't want to hear it and asked why were they telling her those things and they said they were being helpful. Then she asked how is that supposed to help her. They had no clue so they stopped.

I avoid groups like that as I feel bad for the person they are talking about if what they are saying is nasty.

Putting someone down when they have done no harm to anyone just because someone does not like them is not very nice.

Most gossip is untrue and inaccurate.

Saying something nice or neutral about someone behind their back or venting your frustration with someone's behaviour without being derogatory towards the person I think is ok. If I am venting frustration with someone's behaviour though, i tend to keep it general (no names) and talk about 'my frustration' rather than it being wrong as such (unless I am talking about a moral issue or a factual answer to a specific question) as I am sure they are not the only person in the world who indulges in the behaviour I am frustrated with and after all it is the behaviour I am complaining about more than anything.

I may say "why do some people" but it may because someone has behaved in a way that makes me aware of it in the first place.

Unfortunately, if you do that on the internet, everyone gets paranoid and thinks you are talking about them...cue a lot of upset people in your blog/forum post!

Being socially hung, drawn and quartered by a group of rabid angry NT's in public is not something I care to experience too often.

You are better off walking into a den of starving lions instead.

I have seen blogs where people vent about individuals online or about people in general what they do that pisses them off. I have seen it on forums too (aspie ones) that are unmoderated and also have made fun of people there.

Aspies are not immune to such behavior either as I described in my post. Especially if you are talking about a problem you had with someone in PM, all of a sudden that person knows about it and others too so you know that aspie must have went around and told others and even if you were talking about yourself and your own issues, others know about it too for some reason and you never even told them nor posted about it online so you know they told other aspies.

I keep hearing aspies don't like gossip nor do it but I find that to not be true. It's a personal thing. There are NTs who don't like gossip and also avoid groups of people who talk bad about others behind their backs. Then there are aspies out there that do like gossip and do it. So it's not an aspie thing to not like gossip nor is it an NT thing to do it.

I am guilty of it too so I would be lying if I said I never done it. I used to think if I told people what others said about them, they would change their behavior after realizing how they come off as and that they annoy others with a behavior they do or what people think of them because they do X or the fact people make fun of them behind their back because of things they do. But actually that doesn't work, it just makes the person mad and they don't change their ways. That is something I have learned as an adult and it doesn't help them at all. It just makes them feel victimized and play the victim if they are bad instead of taking responsibility for themselves.

oh goodness, i have a horrible choice of words in public, its a good thing my sister understands, she was talking about the hospital she gave birth in to another girl and she mentioned that the hospital had great bed side manner but theyre medical standards are poor, so i said "thats why most of our relatives died there" and she told me to stop talking, i still dont understand why its a bad thing to say, i guess it just is.

another time i was at a funeral, and everyone went from loud and laughing to quiet, and so i said "who died?" as a joke and all my cousins got really angry at me, i thought it was hilarious.

I don't see any relationship between pickles and that word.

Depends if they are referring to a cucumber or courgette. It would be the shape...and what people sometimes use them for (not me, but I read).

Last week (on a cold day) I was wearing my hat what is trendy for youngsters and a lot of young people are seen wearing them when it's cold, and I walked past two older men (looked about in their 60s) and I'm sure I heard one of them say ''look at her stupid hat!'' I'm hoping it was just my imagination and that he just said something else what sounded like that, but if it was what he really had said, I thought that was very unkind. It made me feel self-conscious. It wasn't what he said, it was the way he said it. He could have just whispered to his mate, ''I don't like those hats myself'', instead of yelling ''look at her stupid hat!'' within earshot, as though I was dressed in a bright clown hat or something.