"It's just a label" - people being dismissive!

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Me and my Aspie friends fight about this with our neurotypical friends frequently. They claim it's something that doesn't exist, but they display some traits themselves. I think it's moar about the publicity that autism gets and how much of an influence that publicity has and what it influences. All we have to do is manipulate it.

Unfortunately I've been through this. Not only did my friends tell me AS is just a label for misfits but also added that 'just because your brother is autistic doesnt make you an expert on autism' insinuating they knew more than me about it. How did I handle it? I reevaluated these people and decided I wouldn't associate myself with people as stupid as them.

Love what Willard said!! !

I had no idea people were offended by the term "label." I have seen aspies say about themselves they didn't want to be defined by a label or treated as such. Even my mom calls it a label and everything else that has a name for conditions and she calls them all labels. She will say cancer does not define her, diabetes does not define my father.

I also hear people are not defined by a label or by a condition. They're them, not the word. Even Jerry Newport once wrote a book called Your Life is not a Label.

In fact I find it annoying to be treated like a label instead of being treated like a person. People will read about AS and act like it all defines you and describes you but everyone with it is different. I can read about anxiety and it won't describe me nor depression or learning disability. To me they are just labels and it helps people understand better about how you process things and understand a situation better. But not always because people stay ignorant after you tell them. It's either they treat you different like you are a different person now or still don't understand you. It's annoying when someone reads about a condition and makes all these assumptions about you because that is what the book said about your condition. So that is when I say it's just a label. That is why my mom even says labels can be damaging and even Temple Grandin has said about pros and cons about labels and she once wrote how people should focus on peoples difficulties and their issues than on a label.

When I was in high school teachers were trying to hold me back over because of my AS dx so they thought I couldn't be in drama or drive a car and so on and it was annoying. They were treating me like I was incompetent or something or like I was disabled and can't do things. They even said I wouldn't be able to work at a McDonalds because it would be loud and chaotic and you would have to work fast and follow orders. It was annoying to keep hearing I can't do this or that and I always had to fight. That is a con thing able a label. People look at the label instead of at the person. Even my school counselor did that too and my mom fired him by having him not see me anymore and told my school she wasn't using him anymore as a therapist.

But I guess some people want to be seen as a label instead of a person and be treated as a label instead of as them and get treated this way like I experienced. Being told you can't do this or that and trying to be held back. Those who were diagnosed late never even had to experience what I did because they weren't even diagnosed then so people didn't even know they were different and just assumed they were normal but odd or quirky and saw their symptoms as their personality.

So I think they're all labels because it doesn't define anyone and we're all different and so are other people with other conditions. Lot of people with disabilities feel that way but there are some that want to be defined by a label and see themselves as one. :shrugs:

I understand it as follows.

As a person suffering from Aspergers, you will have huge psychological wounds from feeling rejected, feeling wrong, feeling like an alien, feeling like its all your fault etc. . These wounds are very deep, and will have been there since early childhood.

When you learn you have A.S., it is like medicine or a bandage has been applied to those wounds. You learn for the first time that maybe its not your fault, and you realise your place in the world. The deep wounds can slowly start to heal, and it feels wonderful.

Then some silly person comes along and belittles A.S!
Ouch! So much pain! . The bandage has suddenly been ripped off!! ! It hurts and its very confusing.

I think its something most of us can relate to. How to deal with it? I would say I think it gets better over time. The more you find out about AS and allow yourself to psychologically heal, the easier it gets and the less you care what other people think

I am finding recently that I am a Christian and a man before I am an Aspie. The truth i have realized that the more you identify with the label, the more depressed you might become. You start obsessing over the label to the point that it drives others away... even the good ones you want to keep around.

The best thing to do is simply acknowledge the traits you have and accept yourself and grow.

My son's psychotherapist dismisses the whole thing - he doesn't get how important it is for us to know. I need to put a name to this. I can't believe he hasn't noticed the visual stimming (rolling his eyes up and to the right, constantly) and other unusual behaviors my son exhibits. I'm so tired of being disbelieved or blown off over this.
I know this isn't relevant to this forum, but my son had a continuous foot/leg twitch for about a month. All the specialists who saw him assumed it was "behavior." At the time, I believed he had been affected by PANDAS when he was 5. I couldn't get any medical provider to take me seriously. Sorry for the digression!

Eh... I still get the 'It's just a label' comments, even after a official diagnosis. It shouldn't be used as a free ticket to excuse things, but as a tool to gain actual help. There may be neurological or learning help available to people with official diagnosis.

I just reply "But without labels how would know which can of soup is tomato and the other is chicken noodle"