What am I?

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Oh.
Actually, even though people love me like crazy, they still think I'm weird.
Crap. I really am autistic.
Thank God.

You have a special interest though, according to another post I read of yours ?

I worked with someone was as a church leader who everyone identified as having AS and his son clearly had an ASD.

He is a good speaker and can make eye-contact.

As unfortunately is all to common you have run into two horrible "professionals". The first one you know why he is bad.

The thing to keep in mind about your new therapist is that he is not working for you but your employer. And he is sure you are not an aspie based on one test as well respected as that test is and one session. And he is constantly laughing at you. He is BULLYING you.

If you don't mind could you tell us what was were triggering those anxiety meltdowns.

You're a person with AS. You are an Aspie. You are you, and not solely defined by your aspieism. No, you aren't in the wrong place. I believe you, when you say you're an Aspie.

Here is how I have summed you, up: You are one of the most level-headed, kind, caring, beautiful spirits on this forum (perhaps, on earth, as well). You are highly sensitive, giving, helpful, conscientious, appreciative attractive. I have 3 favorite people, here, on this website. You are one of them. You are much to special, not to be an Aspie.

Hi JSBACHlover, it sounds like you're having a bit of an identity crisis. You also sound pretty clever, so that being true you know that people with Asperger's can learn how to do all these things you mention. You also know that other clever people (e.g. doctors) make all kinds of errors of reasoning all of the time, and can have their own pet theories which may or may not be accurate.

I think it really does help to have a label. It gives us a little bit of definition, and means we don't have to think about everything. It gives us clues as to what our strengths and weaknesses might be. It means we are not alone.

A clinical diagnosis is a bit of a hit or miss affair, there is no proper rigorous test yet, such as a brain scan, so we're left looking at a list of mostly subjective symptoms. You only have one internal life, so you have only a single data-point.

You should probably look at it rationally. It sounds like you've managed to mask many of your symptoms, which as you know is normal for HFAs. Lack of theory of mind is telling. You appear to feel "at home" here on this forum, perhaps shared experiences. NT's think you're weird (I have that too). What other clues do you have that support your initial diagnosis?

Last edited by superluminary on 19 Dec 2013, 10:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

Your message really touched me. For one, I had no idea other people follow others on this site, and to think that you value what I have had to say is very, very humbling to me.

Another poster has said that my current therapist is "bullying" me. It feels like it. I am afraid because this therapist has power over me -- the degree to which I am not certain because I don't know social dynamics. And the last thing I would want would be for him to tell my employer, "Nope, this guy isn't right in the head. He's not serious about psychotherapy and unfit to work for you." It is a crucifixion every time I have to deal with him...which includes today as a matter of fact, from 10:30 until 11:45 Central Time.

Moreover, from the comments I am getting from you guys, you are only confirming what I really do know in my heart, which is that I am HFA / AS.

From my research I discovered that he #1 emotion which drives Aspies throughout their lives is [I[fear[/I]. My Lord, how true this is for me. And I am so full of fear there are times when I wonder when I will feel free.

I have been trying to contact my employers to tell them what is happening but they have not returned my phone calls. I just ask that you pray for me. Thank you all for your responses. They mean a lot to me.

Just lit a prayer candle, and will be praying for a positive outcome !

You are most deserving of everything, good...

Peace, Love, Happiness and Freedom from fear, to you, JSBACHlover . . .

(ps: in response to your comment regarding, not being aware that people follow each other on this forum; I haven't been following anyone. It is just hard not to notice you, as you are one, who stands out, among the crowd)

You sound like you are just on a higher end of the Spectrum. Try not to worry about it. If labeling yourself is important to you than you can try to find an appropriate label are simply who you are. If you have struggles and issues you do your best to be honest about them and do the best you can with them.

About this therapist, I am sorry you are going through that. Here's a hug.

Say a prayer. My therapy may be coming to an end. I spoke with my employer today and proposed an alternate plan. He wants me to draft it up and then, I hope, he'll sign it. And then I can find someone who will really be able to help. Pray for me, ok? Thanks.

Good for you.

That's excellent news! Request for prayers, granted!!

Thank you. Please pray. I've been living in a "therapy prison" for almost a year, and I want to get out. I also want to begin to see a therapist (on my own terms) who will actually believe me when I say I'm HFA.

Yes.

Is this a guessing game?

Oo! How many questions do we have left?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blclmxZHCF0 <ffwd to 50 seconds.

What in the world?