em_tsuj wrote:
How do you know what the rest of your life is going to be like? Did someone come from the future and deliver you a book that told what is going to happen on everyday for the rest of your life until you die? If not, then you're scaring yourself with negative predictions about the future that aren't true. I do the same thing. For me it is usually triggered by a social outcome that I did not like or thinking about some upcoming social event that I am nervous about. What event triggered these thoughts that you are having?
Social upset again combined with a christmas drink. Obviously not a good combination.
More than that I have been trying to change things recently and nothing seems to happen. When I try to socialise I keep bashing my head up against the same problems over and over again and they never actually get resolved.
I think differently to the majority of people I meet. I am interested in different things to them and I struggle with social chit chat. Every interaction I have seems to go the same. Them complaining that I am too quiet, or that I am weird, or that I am obviously not listening or paying attention because I am taking too long to reply and so on.
Then I have the people who insist I am hard on myself when I am not...these are assumptions they make about me. They seem to think I should feel bad about myself because I am not more 'normal'.
I am offended that people think i should feel bad about myself just because I am not like them or what they think I should be. I find their attitude arrogant and egocentric. They seem to think they are superior and that I am defective and need to be cured. I take offense to that too.
I just want acceptance for who and what I am.
As for any functioning difficulties my characteristics may cause me I can find ways to work around that if people would let me instead of trying to force me to be what I am not. Ie if I feel to tired to make chit chat they could just let me sit quietly or pop off by myself for a bit instead of forcing me to converse or criticising me for example. They could give me more time to formulate my reply without accusing me of not listening (I can usually repeat what they said to me so I heard them) and they could try accepting individual difference a little bit more, but instead they'd rather for me to be like them and make me hellishly stressed out and miserable in the process.
I want to socialise with people (not all of the time but some of it) as I want bonds in my life but I just don't cope with socialising well at all and it has always been this way so how is it going to change. My therapist wants to do the same as everyone else...change me into some thing I have never been and don't even really understand because I think and experience the world so differently to them.
25 Dec 2013, 1:32 am
