Worst new year's eve ever

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1814, you're only missing what you haven't had. Trust me, if you had the hangover that some of those people at that party woke up with you'd maybe feel a bit differently about partying. I don't really get Christmas and New Years, they're just pointless cultural oddities to me. One of the best Christmases I've had was just me and my older brother with a case of beer and an Xbox 360. It's not strange you seek the connection that NTs get from these times of year but maybe try reading up on different holidays and traditions from around the world. You wouldn't get upset from spending Ramadan alone would you? These western traditions are just the same thing, days that are supposedly important. Instead of falling for the whole 'let's be nice to each other for one week of the year' thing with Christmas, just try to be a better person for the whole year and people will eventually want to be around you.

I feel for you. I was crying yesterday afternoon because I was anxious about not going anywhere last night to ring in the new year. My friend out of my two best friends who drives wanted to be with his dad. I understand and respect that. The thing is I really wanted to go out. My other of my two best friends is older and she also felt like staying home. I thought about it while making supper and decided maybe it's for the best that my friends and I weren't going anywhere for New Year's Eve.

I did not go out. Not because I did not want to but, because my wife is scarred of New Years and scarred I will get hurt. I wanted to go out with friend( my wife hates Alcohol and bars/ Clubs) finally around 6 she said I could go out but, I called them to late. 1 hates New Years, 1 was Sick, 1 did not answer and the last is divorced and had the kids over

I always had no problem with crowds at bars/clubs. Before I got married, The only thing was I already knew at the beginning of the night I had to have 2 beers before I would talk to women or dance with them. And as long as I talked to them I just did not know how to take the conversation to a level were I could get their number.

The only time I got a number was when me and my friend had a VIP party in the club. I had 6 Beers. When I came outside I was very Drunk and Started talking to another girl that was also very drunk. We went on one date and you can figure out it was only 1 date.

Wow, that sounds terrible (how'd you survive?).

I don't see the point in all the hoopla.

I can totally feel the pain of the exclusion by neurotypicals with their intense social habits. As a matter of fact, I felt kind of unhappy last night since I had to celebrate New Year's all by myself and feeling both angry at myself and the other neurotypicals who are enjoying each other's company. Honestly, do you think you are the only one who feels this way. You are certainly not.

I believe its a combination of things, i know it is for my self. Its not like i personally wanted to be in a crowded place. Its more that you are missing out on stuff and you are different. It all kinda comes together to make it all the more miserable.

Personally i hate this time of year, because for me, its the big 3, Christmas, New Year, and now in 15 days its birth. All being spend alone.

I dont blame people, its hard not to get sad or depressed. Its hard to not feel like a loser and a failure at life.

Its like ive said many times before, people think loneliness, they think when you are at home. Im the most lonely when in near other people. becaues then you get reminded of it, like some other person said, like if you live in apartment like me, and you can hear they are having a party of stairs, well that is gonna make everything 10 times worse.

Its kinda like that episode of Mr bean, where they have that newyears party down stairs, us being mr bean.

Last edited by loner1984 on 01 Jan 2014, 10:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The way you have worded a certain phrase in your post may have just changed my life.

"SCRIPTS"

I literally feel like I just had an epiphany! I need to stop thinking the way I do and realize that NTs do not think like me. They are robotic and like the "scripted" answers. Holy s**t that is genius.

False. It's Aspies who are robotic and can utilize acceptable scripts with NT's that will allow us to pass for normal enough. It's sticking to these scripts and not deviating off about something "weird," that let's Aspies get by with NT's. It's not that NT's actually have scripted conversations. Even small talk chit chat isn't exactly scripted or completely formulaic. Sure, it includes a bunch of the same useless crap most of the time, but it's still fluid & natural intuitive back and forth conversation for NT's vs. scripted responses being recalled from an Aspie memory.

Maybe that is my ASD showing that I consider NTs speaking back and forth robotic and scripted because I don't understand how it could be natural, thus I just assume it's fake. I understand the "Aspies are robotic" rhetoric, but perhaps I didn't make my post very clear when typing it quickly. What I meant was these scripted responses are essentially programmed into NTs where they don't even realize that it's scripted. It's like a reflex for them, it's amazing to watch. When reading the term scripted for conversation, it really clicked in my head that I can blend in my reciting the same scripts consciously that they do SUBconsciously.

Also, hello to a fellow Vancouver WP poster.

It's definitely your ASD. Their conversations aren't scripted. Often times they're very similar, but they're not scripted. But yeah, you can play back an appropriate script and blend in well enough. I know I've done that myself in the past. I've also caught myself saying things by auto-recall that were so ridiculously Aspie. ie Someone complimented me/thanked me for something, and I gave a response that resulted in a bit of a bewildered look on their face that said.. "...ookay, that was a bit of a weird response, but ok.." lol then when someone else several days later complimented me/thanked me for the same thing, my response to them came out like they'd just hit the play button on an mp3 player.. the exact same response, in exactly the same tone/prosody syllable by syllable, as I'd given to the other person. It was so automatic I couldn't prevent it. It was interesting to self observe live in the moment as I realized I was doing that specific Aspie thing. The resulting facial expression from the second person was about the same as the first, too, and it was interesting to think about the fact that even though I hadn't gotten a favourable response the first time I'd said that I still said it again on complete robotic autopilot! Very interesting to be able to observe your own Aspie behaviours like that, IMO. My symptoms are minimal now, so I'm not too concerned with making those same blunders again - but it was interesting at the time.

Hello Vancouver neighbour. *waves hi* I was born in Vancouver but live in the suburbs. (South Surrey.)

Me either. I do not get it at all. It is like you are supposed to go bonkers with a bunch of people over nothing and if you do not, you are supposedly missing out and should feel miserable. It is social lemming conditioning. There is nothing that goes on for New Years eve that I want anything to do with, and I doubt that will change when I am 21. The only thing I kinda cared about was watching the fireworks from a rooftop. Geeze to me one of the benefits of autism is not getting caught up in social rituals.

Sometimes I'd agree with you. Solitude can be awesome.

But at other times, it's frustrating not to "get," what the big deal is about the whole party and social ritual thing is. Sometimes it's nice to just go with the flow of the crowd, fit in naturally and intuitively, and enjoy the excuse to let loose and have silly fun just for the sake of it even if there's no other logical benefit to the party process. It's the inclusiveness & interconnectivity with others that makes partying what fun it can be sometimes. when you click & get it, you get it because you feel it.

If you're always in full on ASD mode, you're always looking in from the outside wondering why these strange creatures are making noise, getting drunk, dancing and moving about and otherwise wasting their time and energy for no apparent gains. But if you're feeling super social and get into it.. when you're on the inside, you feel it, and you understand that it's the process & the journey, not the end result or destination, that's so enjoyable about stuff like this for NT's. (and for us, sometimes, when we're in the mood for it.)

I spent it with my mom because all my friends were celebrating it with their respective girlfriends, so I couldn't go with them.
I don't like new year parties, I just get tired and drunk. Even if I go out to a big celebration, I just stick to my friends and drink. I usually stick to people I know on such occasions.

My staying home was by choice. I'm not interested in going out for New Year's Eve. I also don't drink and am not going to ever again. Back when I was younger the few times I went out for New Year's Eve I just went to a bar and drank. It was nothing special.

By Scripts I mean the stuff of beginning a conversation.

By the way, if someone compliments you, there is only one answer:

"Thank you very much."

Now, if you want/need to continue the conversation, then you need the "sandwich technique":

So how is your family?
They respond.
That's wonderful or I'm so sorry.

Then you go further: So your daughter is a cheerleader. You must be so proud,
Etc.

When you've had enough, say:
"Well, I've enjoyed speaking with you. It's great to see you. Etc.

It's not as "non-fluid" as you might think.