is self-control societally driven?

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I suggest growing some balls and stop whining about having been kicked out of the good company for not complying the way social people are supposed to.

I'm whining about being kicked out by good company? I never said I was kicked out by anyone, I've entirely chosen to sequester myself. The only time I was kicked out by good company was in grade 5 and my best friend dumped me. I've never played 'climb the social ladder' games and I stopped caring about them at all, oh, in highschool when the school was so populous that there was no 1 social ladder to climb but a multitude of different people and social groups.
I am depressed, whether I'm social or not. I'd also rather not grow balls, I'm perfectly happy being female :-p

I think society is too structured and full of long-term planning and long-term this and long-term that. Everything someone does needs to be a commitment, everything I choose to do, when it affects someone besides myself, needs me to be reliable. Well I'm not a reliable person. I can be hard working, I'm intelligent, I like helping people, I can be outgoing or do individual work, but if I need to always be that person on some sort of set schedule, I am none of those things. The one prerequisite for being an independent, autonomous member of our society is reliability.

I am glad to hear we both appreciate my attempt to help.

...can't tell if sarcasm...

I do appreciate your attempt to help. It's my nature to be argumentative.

Cavernio, I wonder if you have ever enjoyed playing video games?

Video games are interesting things in that they contain many goals, and yet the satisfaction of completing the goal is not in any way dependent on society.. I know that when I do well in a video game, I couldn't care less about who knows about it. The game is so fun and rewarding that I enjoy it in solitude.

(A lot of socially isolated people become addicted to video games, probably for this very reason).

I'm not suggesting you take up video games full time. I am just making the point that it is possible to enjoy an activity for itself, when the goals it involves are fun and realistic.

I suggest that the real reason people like you and me lack motivation in real life is not because we require social motivation but because real life is bland.

Would anyone want to play a video game of your life?
Is there any way you could change your life (or your outlook on life) to be more like a video game people would want to play?

Just chucking ideas around

I don't know why you quoted me resilientbrilliance...you said I said things I didn't say.

Oh wait, you probably just read the title and then posted...Good job.

It is good to be able to do things just because they are fun to do or you would like to be able to do it.

I just bought a digital piano so I can learn to play because I think it would be nice to appreciate the beauty of the music it can produce. One day, if I were good enough, I'd consider teaching and passing on what I know that way but I am happy enough just to learn to play for myself. I'd prefer not to have an audience whilst I am learning (it is distracting) so am happily motivated enough to play on my own for now.

I might take piano lessons in the future.

Is there something you just want to try because you want to try it?

Maybe it's one of those weird aspie obsession things. I myself am obsessed with understanding NT's and making progress to that effect, so I understand the confusing paradox of not having much tolerance or aptitude in doing so, while having an overwhelming desire to do it anyways.