Who knows the real you?

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Pretty much anyone I meet. I don't have much of a public versus private self, at all. The only thing I hide from the average people are sexual fantasies that would probably embarrass them and me.

I actually initially wrote here about it but then I realized I wasn't in the adult forum and there could be, like, a twelve year old here. I edited it out when I realized that.

Anyway, I'm asexual, so it's not like I ever want to act on those fantasies. if I could shut off my physical sex drive, it would be a relief. Unfortunately, I am hormonally normal.

Yeah, I'm not convinced that this "real self" can ever be pinpointed. Of course, it exists, I'm just not sure nobody can ever know it, not even myself. This isn't just philosophical. I think we all adapt our behaviour to the people around us to various degrees without even noticing it.

For all practical purposes, though, I can be myself around my best friend and I think he knows "the real me". I've also some met some aspies from WP and I think I was more or less myself around them, which was great. So I can say they began learning the real me, though I can't say they know it.

Oh, and my therapist, too!!

^ I can't let this comment go unnoticed.

A lot of people think they know me, and I beg to differ! However, maybe I am blinded to my own persona, and maybe I see myself differently from how I really am to the rest of the world.

And to my close friends and boyfriend, I beg of them to understand that I'm playing charades! But they still refuse to see to real me!

At least, my dad and therapist actually understand how it is that I see myself. So, that's what I meant in the first place.

Not sure if I even know myself.

My parents know the real me. People at school don't.

I don't think anyone knows (has seen) the real me. I act quite differently when I'm alone. I think out loud quite often. I have "practice conversations" with myself to help get better at verbalizing my thoughts and feelings. I'm not self conscious at all when I'm alone.

The one person who knows me best is my best friend, and she hasn't even SEEN "the real me"

There's a scene from an anime that describes this best. Now that I think of it, I'm very much like this character. She's quiet, doesn't show her emotions and is completely obsessed with cats. (I'm not particularly obsessed with cats though :p)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJccxKyWwJg[/youtube]

Philosophical musings about whether or not one can truly 'know oneself' aside, the short answer is NO.

I have never known anyone who wanted to know all of me me as I actually am, and at this point I'm not sure I could trust anyone with full disclosure. My experience has been that people are always looking for sticks to emotionally bash each other with. The more intimately they know you, the more dangerous they become.

I don't agree with this mindset, and think it speaks towards poor self esteem/self acceptance. Either that or a poor selection of the people with whom you choose to share with. Being constantly on the defensive should be a warning flag.

Nobody knows the real me. My mom has come the closest, but even then, she's way off.

Surely I'm just a bundle of lumpy thoughts and behaviours with a consciousness stuck on one end.

I don't know what "the real me" would look like.

No one.

I've noticed that a lot of people on this forum have chosen an avatar picture that seems to match their personalities quite well. I think I have, too. I have the entire world in my mind at any given moment.
I especially like the avatar with the pony that seems to be reaching for a cookie on a table, but it seems too exhausted. It makes me laugh every time without fail.

A person can know you intuitively but be unable to describe you. They can accidentally describe you perfectly one moment, then completely disagree with their own interpretation the next moment. Personality-wise, it is really possible for brain chemistry to change subtly, making your thoughts just a little bit different, making who you are seem different. You can completely let go and let your emotions and instinctive behaviors decide how you act, or you can completely conform with a social standard.
Any of these things can happen to any person at any time.
Who I really am is who I try to be from day to day.
Ultimately your actions define who you seem to be.

If you can't be who you want to be, if your real behaviors disrupt how you want to live, it's a disorder, but don't worry too much, it's completely normal and most people are this way.

There's a guy I used to know who knows me well. He's seen the good, the bad and the ugly. He's married with a kid now so he's out of my life, but I'd say he's been the only one who's seen everything. Not even my siblings or other family members knows what he knows.

No one. My mother comes pretty close, but... no. She knows a lot more about the person I used to be, if that makes sense.

I don't have a lot of people I have casual interactions with. I have two acquaintances, and that's about it. I've never had a particularly deep relationship with either of them, and we don't know one another that well.

My parents, grandparents, aunt uncle know me pretty well
They all have always been remarkably patient and understanding with me.
Always very supportive and encouraging.
But my cousin who is just a few months older is the one who really knows me best and was able to reach me
early on in a way no one else could. He used to translate for me when we were little since I was primarily nonverbal.
He's always known how to go about every little thing with me.
And he can also be completely himself around me too without upsetting me.
And then there is my buddy since I have been nine. The same with him too.

Last edited by EzraS on 07 Jan 2014, 1:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.