is it just me or do most NTs seem stupid in a lot of ways

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kazma
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16 Jan 2014, 10:12 pm

it was never meant in hate or a putdown like i said just a bad choice of words

i suppose the fact that we are often watching from "outside" as opposed to being "apart of it" also plays into why we see more but when they point out my autistic traits i become aware of them unlike them when i do it to them isnt that strange



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16 Jan 2014, 10:18 pm

kazma wrote:
i suppose the fact that we are often watching from "outside" as opposed to being "apart of it" also plays into why we see more but when they point out my autistic traits i become aware of them unlike them when i do it to them isnt that strange


And that is great that you do! You are wiser than they are. Take compassion over apathy or disgust. Learn that you can be better without everyone else following.



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16 Jan 2014, 10:21 pm

I don't think it's insulting to NTs nor is it hate; it's just an observation. Most would do the same to us without hesitation.

I often criticise the most obvious form of this conformity - social networking sites, and people just can't see that those things I point out are such problems. To me I see it as a form of slavery and conscious altering, then I realised well, this is just like socialising so of course it's no big deal to them. I'm being vague because I haven't got much time but I'll probably write a blog about it because it involves more deeper thought than I'm currently capable of and further analysis.

Then I subtly drop hints about their behaviour. You know many band photographers wouldn't even blink over lying about having proper clearance to photograph a show that only press are granted access to? For me, no press pass - no photos. I've been cricitised by saying the social 'world' is made up mostly of lies.

Originally I was going to say that it's futile to try and change people, even for the better. I probably didn't explain that properly. I'm not saying you're trying to change who they are though they might take it as such, but that you're trying to reveal to them their own behaviour, which they will always deny or see nothing wrong with. Often, they think I'm the one being close minded when I'm trying expand their own knowledge.

Stupid is a bit harsh though. I think some people (non-AS or even AS) have trouble with self awareness. My problem is I'm too self aware. I know what parts of me need improvement.

It also depends what behaviour you are crticising too. You could get it wrong sometimes. People have criticised me and sometimes they might get it half-right and I too deny it but I'm incapable of saying much more even if there is more to the story. For example I've been told I limit myself. Yes, I do and for good reason: I don't want to have yet another autistic regression.

What is a good example of this behaviour you're talking about? Calling someone selfish? To me I see a lot of people around me caring about their own affairs, though because of all the crap I have to deal with in my head and also because I'm often preoccupied with my special interests I seem not to care. Sometimes it's even hard to feel. Now if I told someone they were selfish I would get instant denial followed by a booming 'HOW DARE YOU?!' The thing is when I talk to people neither one of us explains things in complete detail so there's plenty of area for misinterpretation. Later on I try to explain myself but that whole argumentative air is gone and the person is simply not listening.
I think it's pretty selfish to be making noise when people are trying to sleep or pounding the piano when someone's trying to watch TV. Or walking through the door and demanding that person watching TV forfeits because this person wants to watch something with a friend and they yet again neglected to even send me a text saying this, so that I might prepare for it and plan something else to do. However, I don't think most people are this selfish. Further research is required.

So much for being rushed for time...Really I just wanted to play Sonic the Hedgehog.


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16 Jan 2014, 10:23 pm

kazma wrote:
i suppose the fact that we are often watching from "outside" as opposed to being "apart of it" also plays into why we see more but when they point out my autistic traits i become aware of them unlike them when i do it to them isnt that strange


If you had gone to a mainly ASD school like i did, your autistic
traits would have still been pointed out by other auties.
You still probably would have been unpopular with certain kids.
You still would have had to deal with alpha males/females.
Its not like auties are all nicey nice with each other all the time and completely accepting.
The infighting and putdowns that takes place in this forum between aspies is proof of that.
NT people find fault in each other all the time.
NT people are always complaining about the behavior of other NT's.
NT's are always trying to change the behavior of other NT's.
The same goes with auties dealing with auties.



aspiemike
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16 Jan 2014, 10:26 pm

Whoever brought up fixations on feelings and moments vs fixations on outcome... Thank you.

Compared to people who are more fixated on how they feel, my intentions will never matter to them. The only thing that will matter is how they felt in the moment someone said or did something. They didn't try and predict an outcome like someone else may have.


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16 Jan 2014, 10:31 pm

aspiemike wrote:
Whoever brought up fixations on feelings and moments vs fixations on outcome... Thank you.

Compared to people who are more fixated on how they feel, my intentions will never matter to them. The only thing that will matter is how they felt in the moment someone said or did something. They didn't try and predict an outcome like someone else may have.


Sorry, I have to take credit for that one. (I know it's arrogant, but still a certain level I feel is appropriate from time to time.) You're welcome. :D



kazma
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16 Jan 2014, 11:13 pm

i suppose having an interest in social psychology derren brown and hypnotism don't help maters as i tend to analyze people's behaviors anyway out of habit but most normal people do seem to run on "auto pilot "more especially in groups again this is not a putdown



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16 Jan 2014, 11:39 pm

kazma wrote:
it was never meant in hate or a putdown like i said just a bad choice of words

i suppose the fact that we are often watching from "outside" as opposed to being "apart of it" also plays into why we see more but when they point out my autistic traits i become aware of them unlike them when i do it to them isnt that strange


I agree. It is frustrating. I see nothing wrong with your original post, including the wording.



kazma
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17 Jan 2014, 12:44 am

thanks :wink:



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17 Jan 2014, 3:36 am

I find NTs to be rather difficult to communicate with, especially since they often expect whoever they're communicating with to be able to "read" them . It highly annoys me when an NT says something to me that literally means one thing, word for word, but means something else entirely in the nonverbal context they put it in. As well, it also annoys me when I'm saying something and being literal, and they think it's something entirely different due to some nonverbal context that they think I'm putting it in, when really I'm not trying to put it into any sort of nonverbal context.

A huge part of what I like about text-based communication is that it removes all of those abstracting layers of body language, intonation, pronunciation, etc., and allows people to essentially transfer straight messages back and forth.



kazma
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17 Jan 2014, 4:13 am

yes this it so true



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17 Jan 2014, 8:12 am

Not getting into the whole flaws debate (there is no such thing in the sense the term 'flaw' is used here as it is usually used to mean 'something about another person I don't like and I think should be different' and is basically nothing more than judgmental bollocks. In reality there are just characters, traits and skills that may or may not be useful in any given situation at any particular moment in time depending on the variables involved) but in regards to 'stupid' (wrong word or not) I'd to like to quip (with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek) that:

Stupid is a human condition and, just like autism, it can run on a spectrum too!

PN stupid may or may not exist, for why see my comments about flaws in the brackets above.



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17 Jan 2014, 1:25 pm

Yes they can seem stupid. They can seem like total f*****g idiots. That's not to say that they always are. It's a by-product of poor communication and misunderstanding that one party can seem stupid to the other, and maybe vice versa as well. Some of it is just "perceived" stupidity, but some of it is actual.

I'd say on average NTs tend to be rather dense and unaware of themselves (actually).



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17 Jan 2014, 1:32 pm

EzraS wrote:
If you had gone to a mainly ASD school like i did, your autistic
traits would have still been pointed out by other auties.
You still probably would have been unpopular with certain kids.
You still would have had to deal with alpha males/females.
Its not like auties are all nicey nice with each other all the time and completely accepting.
The infighting and putdowns that takes place in this forum between aspies is proof of that.
NT people find fault in each other all the time.
NT people are always complaining about the behavior of other NT's.
NT's are always trying to change the behavior of other NT's.
The same goes with auties dealing with auties.


Completely agree.



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17 Jan 2014, 1:36 pm

kazma wrote:
it seems that most cant see there own shortcomings or see there own flawed nature that comes with being an NT even when pointed out to them eg things like herd mentality and the need to conform and follow


The thing is being outside of the neurotypical neurology does not make one immune to things like herd mentality or the need to conform and follow. I don't really see the flaw in having normal neurology, but its important that people with different neurologies exist since they can sometimes bring new ideas or ways of thinking into the world.

I hate the 'Im superior because of my neurology' attitude whether it comes from neurotypicals or autistics or any other type of people. Us autistics aren't better than neurotypicals and neurotypicals aren't better than us. I mean just to point it out it seems you are expressing the very attitude you claim to dislike......I mean you dislike neurotypicals because they don't fit into our autistic 'herd' and seem to desire that they conform to and follow it by admitting their flawed neurotypical nature.


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17 Jan 2014, 1:56 pm

Acedia wrote:
EzraS wrote:
If you had gone to a mainly ASD school like i did, your autistic
traits would have still been pointed out by other auties.
You still probably would have been unpopular with certain kids.
You still would have had to deal with alpha males/females.
Its not like auties are all nicey nice with each other all the time and completely accepting.
The infighting and putdowns that takes place in this forum between aspies is proof of that.
NT people find fault in each other all the time.
NT people are always complaining about the behavior of other NT's.
NT's are always trying to change the behavior of other NT's.
The same goes with auties dealing with auties.


Completely agree.


Can't we all just look for the positives for a change and just accept people for who and what they are instead?

I think life is more fun when you don't' keep picking fault and trying to change everyone. Then again I think life is more fun when I forget other humans exist and spend hours fixating on my hobbies instead.