[Female Aspies] - Is this List Credible?

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I could relate to a lot of what Rose was saying in the video that Jakeday posted.

This list is really useful! Thanks for posting. I fit like 95% (never had problems with school work, repeated grades etc and never received any misdiagnosis).

"May say “yes” to social events, then later make up an excuse as to why she cannot attend, often staying home in solitude"
I laughed a lot when read this. Love that part, this is so me. I make up lots of excuses to avoid social situations (also for not answering the phone, not answering messages etc, I avoid any situation when I have to interact), the most common one is "I have to study". People probably think I'm a crazy study-all-the-time nerd

Most of them are accurate for me. These ones are not:

- half male/half female
I see myself as most definitely female-- I have felt much more feminine since getting married and having my daughter; not necessarily "girly", but womanly I guess. Before getting married and having my daughter, I felt fairly androgynous, but not much these days.

- may not have well-developed identity
I am very sure of who I am now. What I like, what I dislike, what my character traits are, etc. And most of the time, I am very happy with that.

- less unusual interests than males
I have very obscure interests.

- strong sensory issues
I would say that I have mild to moderate sensory issues.

- given several different prescriptions
I haven't taken any medication for mental illness-- only things like antibiotics and flu medicine for normal sicknesses.

- will either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it
I'm in between-- I think that I might normally REALLY enjoy sex, but I think that stress and exhaustion have dampened my enjoyment, just like any NT.

i find it quite accurate

Almost all of them describe me.

The thing about half male/half female is so weird because I would never go to a gynecologist until I was around 30 because I was convinced I had a penis "up there." I kept picturing the doctor saying something like, "OMG, I've never seen this before, EVERYONE COME LOOK!" Turns out I don't, but I am not like most women. I never wanted a sex change, but I don't identify with women very well, at least with the things they seem to enjoy.

I don't identify with feeling half male and half female. I've always felt 100% female. I even went through a stage where I refused to get my hair cut or wear pants. I do notice that society considers some of my interests boyish. I never considered those interests boyish, I just thought they were gender neutral.
I also have pretty unusual interests. I've learned over the years to hide those interests.

I've definitely thought I was androgynous before, but now I see myself as a masculine woman (learning to be unapologetic about it, too.)

It's not about being aggressive (I'm not) but more about me following my natural inclinations and not repressing them. I find trying to be more feminine than I am depresses me. I'm probably more feminine that I realise though, because all the feminine things I enjoy, I don't think twice about. It's only when something is either being repressed or when I'm being forced to be something I'm not that I take notice and get upset.

The list isn't all that different from the more commonly quoted male traits. Although I do fit into those traits listed, the list is also pretty broad and could encompass many disorders or personality types. The androgynous thing seems to be a constant with most forms of autism, regardless of genders.

I've seen many autistic men describe a large number of those "unique characteristics."

I think the usefulness of such lists is that they contextualize these things for women to make it easier to identify autism in women, which is a significant benefit given that there is a bias against diagnosing us.

I am undiagnosed, but the list is very accurate for me. I found it really helpful the first time I read it because it added more dimension than the other lists I had read.

The things that don't fit:

I do like my hair to be "wash and wear" now but when I was younger I obsessed over styling my hair. And I can't stand to go very long without grooming myself.

I loved reading when I was young but now it makes me tired.

The part about using control for stress management, doesn't really fit me...although I can definitely be rigid in some of my habits, I am not into rules or discipline. I am more lackadaisical and whimsical about things. (probably the ADHD in me)

I am not highly educated, I dropped out of college middle of my third semester.

Anxiety and fear are absolutely not my predominant emotions. And I am not particularly moody, except right before my period. Never diagnosed as bipolar.

I stim mostly when I am feeling bored or impatient or sleepy or trying to concentrate (which again is probably the ADHD in me)

Some people probably do perceive me as cold or unfriendly, but others don't, it depends on the situation.

Maturity has not changed my view on societal gender roles, because I think they are garbage.

Most everything else on this list describes me pretty well.

Someone posted this recently and I liked this one too: http://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2 ... -syndrome/

Many of these wouldn't fit me past high school. I was only anxious and moody when my life circumstances were at their worst, I'm social even if I don't like the pressure of a lot of obligations, and I most definitely don't like going totally without grooming.

Last edited by coffeebean on 19 Jan 2014, 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It describes me very well. I have all but 2 of those traits.

This is a great list!!

I've never understood or identified with the female autism thing. This list doesn't make a big picture that is like me.

Interesting. A lot of these definitely rang true for me, but there were also a few that didn't strike me as very gender-specific or exclusive to the female Aspie experience (such as sensory issues, which is a pretty widespread problem among Aspies in general). Some of the ones I really identified with:

"May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well"

I started reading when I was 3 and was often described as being pretty precocious, so I would say this one fits pretty well. Can't think of anything else where I was self-taught, though.

"Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly"

Yep. Changed my major several times before I finally settled on history, which held me back from graduating for two years.

"Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues"

Definitely, especially if I'm in a loud and crowded place and am having issues with trying to filter out all the noise. My mind also does this thing sometimes where it jumbles up the meaning of what was just said or forgets to process parts of it, even though I heard everything loud and clear- have this problem on the phone all the time.

"Will not do well with verbal instruction- needs to write down or draw diagram"

I think this one's an issue for the same reason that the previous one is. I also have ADD, so maybe that plays a part as well?

(I'll save myself some time with the third column and say that virtually all of those apply to me, ha)

"Can be very shy or mute"

I've been painfully shy for pretty much my entire life, although I've never had any issues with mutism. I do become extremely withdrawn when under a lot of stress or anxiety in a way that can resemble mutism, though.

"Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a "performance"

I've learned to compensate for my social deficits reasonably well, so when I first meet a person it might not be apparently obvious that something is a little bit off with me. The longer I socialize though, the more I start to crack and feel the need to retreat. The description of it feeling like a "performance" is spot on, as I feel like I'm merely going through the motions of proper social protocol as opposed to it coming to me naturally.

"Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached"

The older I've gotten, the more reluctant I've been to form close relationships with people, which means that my social life has dwindled a lot over the years. I think a lot of this has to do with my social anxiety and fear of rejection.

"Due to sensory issues, will either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it"

I find any sort of physical intimacy to be really soothing and comforting, so sex has never been a problem for me.

I call total BS on that one. Most AS females I have seen, look like they spend an adequate amount of time on grooming and hair. Cosmetology is even a special interest for many AS females. So they probably spend considerably more time on it, then an NT female would.

Anyway a lot of NT females like wash and wear hair too. So they don't have to spend all day on it.

If I was going to take a guess, I'd guess that on average AS and NT females probably spend the exact same amount of time grooming. On one end you would have AS females who are obsessed with their appearance and spend an above average amount of time on it. On the other end, there would be some who focus on other interests, and don't have much time for grooming. But the average would be the same for AS and NT females.