having babies: what is your decision?

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what is your decision on reproducing?
im too low functioning to have children and i dont want em 12%  12%  [ 13 ]
im want babies but im afriad my autism is too severe 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
im mild but i dont want babies 34%  34%  [ 36 ]
im mild and want babies but afraid i wont be able to handle it 13%  13%  [ 14 ]
im pretty severe but i have made the decision to have babies if i can find a mate 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
i am mild and am going to have babies when i settle down with someone (if it happens) 19%  19%  [ 20 ]
in the process of trying and/or pregnant 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
i have babies and regret nothing 13%  13%  [ 14 ]
i have had babies and unfortunately couldn't/cant handle it, 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 106

sharkattack
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02 Feb 2014, 8:24 pm

Babies I don't know if I could eat a whole one. :lol:

Being serious I could not handle it nor do I have any desire to be a father.



DarkRain
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02 Feb 2014, 8:51 pm

I've changed my mind about not having them. Were I to get married, I would definitely welcome them (plus, since I'm a practicing Catholic, contraception is a big no-no, so...yeah. Yay kids! :D )



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02 Feb 2014, 9:02 pm

Between too low functioning and don't know if.


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02 Feb 2014, 9:09 pm

I could probably handle it if I could find the right person to have them with. But I could only deal with one small child at a time. My older sister had four kids in the space of six years, I don't get how the constant caterwauling didn't drive her insane.


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Ann2011
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02 Feb 2014, 9:19 pm

Never wanted any children, never had any, never will. It's not because I don't think I could take care of them (I've taken care of step-children before) or because they may inherit my autism. But because I don't want to be responsible for bringing another life into this Hell.


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jenisautistic
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02 Feb 2014, 10:51 pm

I absolutely love babies. I would love to adopt babies . I don't know if I would be able to handle through the process of being pregnant but if I would or could and I might I would do it if I could have a doctor had me surgery said to put a sperm into my egg so that I can have a baby and not have a husband or me and my husband both be anti-romantic and asexual but still love children. But either I'm too young too low functioning or maybe it will be great and then I get someone good help me take care of my baby without wanting to be romantic or having sex and we could be just be really good friends and partners but I would have to get really close and really good relationship with someone and then get married for that to happen.

But if all else fails I will definitely adopt children or become a foster mother or some other career working with children. Ever since I was really little I wanted to run an orphanage but then I got so disappointed because there's no more orphanages in America anymore.


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Pobbles
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03 Feb 2014, 12:37 am

Not sure how severe I am - but I didn't want children until I had lost my parents. I am equally jealous and horrified by my friends who are parents... so there's at least a primitive part of me that wants to procreate, I think.

Before I even get to considering my autism as a potential barrier to becoming a parent, there are logistical issues - namely that I'm not asexual, and I haven't had much luck in relationships... the longest lasting two years. I do not believe that I could provide a stable environment for the upbringing of children.

These considerations aside, I also fear that I would not be able to provide the emotional feedback that children need (NT or otherwise) to grow into balanced adults. If any hypothetical children were also autistic like me, the challenges I might face as a parent might be insurmountable.



Callista
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03 Feb 2014, 1:03 am

Asexual. If I somehow ended up pregnant, though, I think I would be able to raise a child--perhaps with help, perhaps without.

The critical question when you are considering raising children is whether you can gather the resources that your child needs. If you are disabled, those resources may come from different places than usual, but if you can get them, then your child will be fine. For example, with physical disabilities, someone might need adapted equipment, or might need somebody to do the physical work of hauling a child around. With autism, maybe you would need someone to help you keep up with the added chaos; or maybe you would need a sitter for when you were too stressed to respond to the child properly. Maybe you would need to learn about child development and language-learning.

Since I know when I need help, and know how to ask for it, I would be able to raise a child despite my disability.

The idea that autistic people can't bond with their children seems pretty ludicrous to me, by the way. I can bond with my cats just fine. I care about others even when I can't automatically pick up their emotions. Being upset or overloaded doesn't make me want to take out my frustration on others, especially not on others who are vulnerable. If I were unable to care for a child, I would know that I had to find help.


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ZombieBrideXD
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03 Feb 2014, 1:17 am

hanyo wrote:
I don't want kids and will never have them.

I actually gave birth to one when I was your age but I didn't want it and never held it and didn't bring it home from the hospital. An adoption agency came to see me in the hospital to give it to them and pick out a family from a book of couples waiting to adopt.


b-but, your profile says male

._.


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rapidroy
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03 Feb 2014, 1:28 am

Sadly I think it would be irresponsible for me to have children, not now anyway. I don't like babies and toddlers and I just can't focus on something like that long enough or hard enough. My interests and other distractions make existing housework and maintenance hard enough to get around to so a kid who has feelings needs constant attention may not be a good thing to add to the list. I have so much respect and admiration for those who can focus on and raise children like that. An older kid may be good however I doubt any foster agency would let me or almost any other take care of a kid based on past history unfortunately, perhaps a partners existing kid would suffice. We will have to see as I do have a few years before its too late, I think it comes down to what can a kid bring into my life and can I get that somewhere else.



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03 Feb 2014, 2:33 am

I love kids. I always wanted to have a child, I knew that when I was a child myself. I am very mild, damn near NT and relate better to children than my peers. Child care and development have been one of my obsessions since I was 8 or 9 years old and I know I'll be an awesome mom some day.




Please excuse any misspelled words if I misspelled any I am a little drunk right now.



opal
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03 Feb 2014, 4:03 am

I took the first option- because my circumstance wasn't there. A lot of people wouldn't consider me low functioning. I have a degree , am married and have a job (albeit underemployed.) When I was younger (early teen and preteen) I wanted to save the world and adopt a raft of rainbow coloured/ disabled children. Then I woke up and realised I was the rainbow coloured disabled kid, and someone should have adopted me.

I hate screeching. I hate sewerage smells. I don't deal with crowds, BS, bullying, or workplace politics. How can I raise a child when I can't navigate that myself? :cry: :shrug:



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03 Feb 2014, 4:34 am

I hate babies and cannot cope with them. I am the first option. When a baby cries next to me, I have a panic attack due to the noise.


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hanyo
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03 Feb 2014, 4:40 am

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
hanyo wrote:
I don't want kids and will never have them.

I actually gave birth to one when I was your age but I didn't want it and never held it and didn't bring it home from the hospital. An adoption agency came to see me in the hospital to give it to them and pick out a family from a book of couples waiting to adopt.


b-but, your profile says male

._.


I changed it recently but I am female. I'd rather that they let you leave that part blank or pick "prefer not to say".



Solitudinarian
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03 Feb 2014, 4:41 am

I have strong maternal instincts despite being biologically male, which is why I surround myself with cats I suppose. I love taking care of cute little creatures that depend on me, even though I realize how cruel it is to enslave animals as pets and companions.

That being said, I could never, ever imagine to raise a child. My mother had autistic traits (I'm using the past tense because I haven't seen her in a long time and refuse to ever do so again). She was more functional than I am, but she was a terrible parent nonetheless. The best possible outcome of me raising a child would be another utterly dysfunctional social pariah like myself. And why would I possibly want to inflict my own hellish life experience on a new human being?

Besides, my dislike for the human race extends to human offspring. Unlike other small animals, human infants simply aren't cute or adorable. They're incredibly noisy, smelly, and generally obnoxious. During the first years, they just lay there and drool and soil themselves. When they're finally able to walk around, speak and use a toilet like a proper human being, they act like selfish little narcissists who bawl like a foghorn if they don't get their way. On top of that, they're incredibly cruel to their peers and have no sense of right and wrong whatsoever. Then comes the moody teenage phase during which your child hates your guts, even though you're still working your posterior off to feed and dress them. Why anyone would want to go through that is beyond me.



zer0netgain
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03 Feb 2014, 6:43 am

Mild. Don't want kids because of personal issues.

I might want them someday, but I'd still have concerns of if they'd be autistic as well.