Kid: "Sometimes I wish my brother wasn't autistic"

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You guys have a really good point. So how would I help with that? Come up with activities/games they can do together? Only I can't think of many...not just because of the autism bit, mostly because of the giant age gap.

There is a 17 years age gap between me and my brother
When I was a child we used to play games like throwing pillows at each other while listening to music or I jumped on his back and he tried to keep me on his back. We used to laugh a lot.
Now I don't play with him much anymore but sometimes I do so by clasping his arm and he tries to break free.
I don't know if they could do these games together, the other kid is an NT while I wasn't NT so I don't know if he would play in the same way I did.

This.

I am certain I said that I wished I had a brother instead of a sister several times in my childhood.

I also probably wished for any sibling who wouldn't randomly attack me and said so.

I guess I am wondering if BigSister isn't overficussed on the idea of taking this expression of sentiment as a teachable moment.

These siblings have a bad relationship and their parents deny rather than dealing with it. This makes me suspect that the parents may use denial as a standard coping mechanism and that sounds bad.

Perhaps just acknowledging and respecting the angry sib's feelings would be very helpful.


Is your goal to 'fix' the whole family? Or something more narrow focused on the autistic brother?

Oh, goodness, no, I'm not in the family fixing business (and, while like anyone they're not perfect, they really are a good family, sorry if that didn't come across). I just want to be a good caregiver, and I thought helping the big brother was part of that. I also genuinely care about both children and if there's anything I can do to help either of them, I will.

Sib's relationship may be better than I thought - they played together the other day at the park. It made my heart happy.